Connecting Singles (so true) (146)

Reading through the last couple of threads there have been a wide range of thoughts about C.S.My conclusion it is anything and everything we want it to be! how many other forums can you say that about the reason is.... if you dont like that thread go to the next I am sure one will suit you.

I found it particularly interesting from the latest posts of Island Girl ,Merri,Looking and Prowler.... they told me where they are now and a tiny glimpse into what makes them tick,it told me that they are real people ( now how can I say this without sounding like an American reality show ...god forbid)at very different stages in thier life and how they are dealing with it,the common thread being that these are genuine and honest people just trying to find some answers along the way yet it also gives other members a sense of who they really are.......
What I am getting at is for instance Tony and Faithe ...before they even met they knew each other and what to expect.

This is what C.S. is all about!it connects people from all walks of life ...we can open up on here without fear or favour and rarely now does anyone come back with a sarcastic dig anymore,and if they do its ignored, no more ganging up either.(its been a long time coming).

Gosh you lot have to be pretty good guys as you tolerate my crap on here .....as friends do.

thank you Martia - you're right I originally was seeking answers and trying to understand of the what how and why's - the advise that has given me to over a period of time has helped me find the person that I knew I was - my values etc., was always there, but I lost my own identity - I have a very clear view of what I don't want, but what I do want is not too lose faith and trust because to lose all that - I may as well slit my wrists now.

Living in the past is not the way to go - but the lessons from the past help in making clear and rational choices and hopefully a better understanding, compassionate person in the long run.

Hi AA

I remember saying to Martia a couple of years ago, when christmas eve was upon us...

"When we go out tonight and sing auld lang syne.. lets actually pay heed to what we are singing and mean it.".

I took that on board myself.. and its stood me in good stead.. That is not to say I dont get disallusioned from time to time.. I do. but I try to not take personally anything at all... I do try to remember that at the end of everyones posts, there is a human being there... and depending of what level of self esteem that person has.. that will come out in their posts.. and also, learned behaviour comes out.. and their has to be a reasons for that. Having said all of that... it is also true, that people connect more depending on core values... the ethics I follow is to try and allow people to learn from their own experiences , rather than to constantly empower by ego stroking.. and that includes myself of course... I have lost the plot sometimes... and recognise this.

Sure a bit of ego stroking is good, and empowerment also, but its a futile exercise if people constantly do that for others, and the message is taken at face value.... and no insight and thought is taken up.

I love this little community... here on the Au Forum threads... It is natural to assume that on any day, someone will feel down, or over happy... and its not hard to pick moods... but I hope that within all of this, we can be strong of mind and character to not be judgemental.

I also know, logically, that CS is a phase that will come and go for myself, as time moves along, so we all change... and rightly so.. and should I have gathered some wonderful friends along the way... that is a good thing.

I think the main thing to do is always look for the best in people.
Look at this forumyou can what the greater majority of our members are really like !and there you have the answer...of late we get the odd um... feral but they do not stay long as nobody takes any notice of them anymore and its no fun playing in an empty schoolyard.

When I entered the single landscape I encountered a broard selection of singles out there and in the main the experience was quite an eye opener...in my age group I did not expect the amount of players that were lurking about,I soon worked out that these grandfathers were like kids in a toyshop where everything was free.

I was very vunerable and got burnt very early on,but forearmed and forewarned carried on....what I found was the pain and hurt from a lot of guys... some worked hard most of thier lives to enjoy a secure retirement then in an instant All Gone relationship over about 50% no fault of thier own.

I am only speaking from what I experienced,and I can tell you there are many guys sitting in a little flat somewhere slowly increasing thier wine or beer intake at night on thier own... too depressed and confused to know what to do and too proud and too beaton to get help.

This worries me even now ...Look I know we females hurt deeply too (boy do I know)but we seem to be better equipped to deal the emotional side of things thats how we are made.

My guy was just stepping on the rung to despair when I met him (he knows I am writing this)he has blessed my life in words I cannot decribe.
We are all affected by the past to some extent... some more than most but we cant give up as there are so many truly wonderful people out there with so much love to give its just a matter of finding the right one ( took me a couple of years)and I did.

Ah Martia...

Sounds like you had a lifes journey with a grand ending... well done.