interesting thread. you've asked for opinion, not judgement. they can be pretty similar...judgement is just opinion supported with evidence. maybe you mean, you'd like an opinion sans the harsh judgement. i've had two friends now be in long term relationships with older men. both experienced fabulous marriages (men were 25 plus yrs older) and they loved each other deeply. the flip side, they didn't have kids as it was advised not to. and now that we're much older, each of the women spent many, many years care taking their husbands. both husbands are now deceased. and it begs another question....when we enter a relationship...do we put a time on it. do we enter into a relationship that will bring us love and joy now, and experience it for what it is...or do we wait and take that chance that we will find something that lasts longer....are we living 'now' or waiting for something that may or may not happen. each to his own choice..yanno...
jono7: interesting thread. you've asked for opinion, not judgement. they can be pretty similar...judgement is just opinion supported with evidence. maybe you mean, you'd like an opinion sans the harsh judgement. i've had two friends now be in long term relationships with older men. both experienced fabulous marriages (men were 25 plus yrs older) and they loved each other deeply. the flip side, they didn't have kids as it was advised not to. and now that we're much older, each of the women spent many, many years care taking their husbands. both husbands are now deceased. and it begs another question....when we enter a relationship...do we put a time on it. do we enter into a relationship that will bring us love and joy now, and experience it for what it is...or do we wait and take that chance that we will find something that lasts longer....are we living 'now' or waiting for something that may or may not happen. each to his own choice..yanno...
I like a deceased feller's perspective on your statement, 'Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today." (James Dean) IMO..... to each their own; whatever trips your trigger.
Look around, how many very young women do you see with men old enough to be their grandfathers, let alone fathers. They are very far and few between, and that´s how it should be.
I was watching a group of twenty somethings today enjoying themselves (fiesta day here), and although I mix socially with much younger people sometimes, there is no way I would consider myself one of them, let alone contemplate a romantic/physical relationship with one of them. Nor would I have done so when I was in my twenties.
Perhaps in my case it has something to do with the point about the balance of power Jac made. I was married to a man only eight years older, but it did cause problems at times, particularly when I started to get promotions and gained more qualifications after our children started school. It was very hard for him to see me blossom from the fresh-faced 16 year old he first met, and I understand that now.
Most young women I know, and older incidentally, prefer to have relationships with people in their own age range. I know there are exceptions, but in this case, which also appears to be based solely on communication through this site, I would be very wary if I were the OP.
I saw you are 23 y.o., and the man should be 60 y.o. If you both were a few years younger, that would be considered as pedophilia. I don`t mean to insult you, just want to help......your PARENTS. Think about them - they have been protecting you all life from.....anything, do they deserve this?!?
How did you decide he is a good man - what experience in life do you have (if I may ask) do make such conclusions about someone, who is flirting with his......grand-daughter?! Where is his moral in this story?!
now that comment is not called for . . i have spent 12 months in the philippines in the last 2 years and i have a young girlfriend there . . met her family and they all love me . .
the philippine culture is very different than ours in the west . . most retired foreigners there have very young girlfriends and wives . . and the girls and families are envied by neighbours . because support IS love in that culture . . and after all they are adults
i was chatting with a 21 year old yesterday and she is looking for a man 45 to 68 . .i was courious . .asked her why she is looking for a man of those ages....
she replied that young man can love but not responsible . . old man love and responsible . .
love is very exciting and works best when two prople have an honest relationship and honest needs for each other . . secutiry, emotionally , and physically . . the need to be loved and hugged and kissed . very simple things . . this op knows her culture and is getting a feel of how the western culture views her proposed relationship . .
i for one wish her all the best no matter what she does . . she is an adult with her families support in her choices . to be with grampa or not . . how many young adults have their families support here in our western culture . .and how many have to rebel to do their own thing??
when you say to the op that she should think of her parents . . she is likely to think she SHOULD be with grampa because even if he has a canada pension . . . he can help her family and perhaps he will open the door for her to come to the west . . these may also weigh much on what choices she will make. .
the thing is that these lovely girls have usually many men promise to visit them and they men get sidetracked with another profile . . or just can not pay the airfare
but lets have respect for others even if they make age choices you would not
jono7: interesting thread. you've asked for opinion, not judgement. they can be pretty similar...judgement is just opinion supported with evidence. maybe you mean, you'd like an opinion sans the harsh judgement. i've had two friends now be in long term relationships with older men. both experienced fabulous marriages (men were 25 plus yrs older) and they loved each other deeply. the flip side, they didn't have kids as it was advised not to. and now that we're much older, each of the women spent many, many years care taking their husbands. both husbands are now deceased. and it begs another question....when we enter a relationship...do we put a time on it. do we enter into a relationship that will bring us love and joy now, and experience it for what it is...or do we wait and take that chance that we will find something that lasts longer....are we living 'now' or waiting for something that may or may not happen. each to his own choice..yanno...
well thats the reason i ride around on my motorcycle . i out run my young girlfriend out swim out sing and just live so free darling . .its hard for a young girl to keep up with me . .cause im living life to the fullest . .
my motto is to be more healthy and stronger tomorrow . . like you i get lots and lots of younger people wanting my attention . . but unlike you i entertain them and visit them and i choose one of them to be special to me . .
i can not express how happy she is to have me in her life . . and im very happy to have her also .
why not find a nice young guy and let him wine and dine you ?? you like the older men but so do the young girls... i have other friends like yourself and i ask them also . . .why not??
mrLonelyboy: yes im replying to the previous post . . the previous post says she should base her decission on thinking about her parents....
if you want to encourage her not to be with the man because he is too old.... then ask her to think of herself not her parents....
have you ever been to the philippines? . . its hard to understand the culture if you have never been there....
a good book on this is
Life and Love in the Philippines
Start your new life in the Philippines! (Hosted by Larry Elterman)
You appear to be trying to sell something. and of course that´s clearly in your own interest. Howeever, just because a behaviour is dictated by culture or tradition doesn´t make it right.
My daughter had a goood friend from the Philippines a few years ago, and I can assure you she was at loggerheads constantly with her traditional parents, who didn´t understand why their daughter wanted to go out and socialise with her young friends.
I´ve also noticed, as I´m sure you have, that once a Wester influence takes hold, young Asian girls are not so interested in much older men.
Would you in all honesty be interested in a woman much older than you?
JAN_is: You appear to be trying to sell something. and of course that´s clearly in your own interest. Howeever, just because a behaviour is dictated by culture or tradition doesn´t make it right.
My daughter had a goood friend from the Philippines a few years ago, and I can assure you she was at loggerheads constantly with her traditional parents,
I´ve also noticed, as I´m sure you have, that once a Wester influence takes hold, young Asian girls are not so interested in much older men.
Would you in all honesty be interested in a woman much older than you?
WELL AGE IS NOT A REAL FACTOR WITH ME...looks and how well a girl has taken care of herself . . her body and health!
but since i have been there 12 months in the past 2 years . .i think i understand how that culture is. . . . it took me a long time to really grasp the basics . . now chinese girls are very different 4 grandparents two parents and one child?? but in the philippines its not unusual for a couple to have 6 or 8 or 10 or 12 kids because the kids will take care of the parents and THAT is the big cultural difference. . how many teens are working and giving the money to their parents in this culture??? its a status increase to have a foreigner in the family at any age
its funny cause now im 57 . . and i have girls interested of all ages 18 to 72 . . .and they all want something hahaha
mrLonelyboy: WELL AGE IS NOT A REAL FACTOR WITH ME...looks and how well a girl has taken care of herself . . her body and health!
but since i have been there 12 months in the past 2 years . .i think i understand how that culture is. . . . it took me a long time to really grasp the basics . . now chinese girls are very different 4 grandparents two parents and one child?? but in the philippines its not unusual for a couple to have 6 or 8 or 10 or 12 kids because the kids will take care of the parents and THAT is the big cultural difference. . how many teens are working and giving the money to their parents in this culture??? its a status increase to have a foreigner in the family at any age
its funny cause now im 57 . . and i have girls interested of all ages 18 to 72 . . .and they all want something hahaha
Well you see you are quite wrong. Here in Spain it is still the tradition to care for parents and respect older people. I´m still heartened by this after moving from the UK 8 years ago, and I can tell you that the majority of young people, and older, are happy to do this, yet still maintain a "normal" life with lovers in the same age range.
mrLonelyboy: WELL AGE IS NOT A REAL FACTOR WITH ME...looks and how well a girl has taken care of herself . . her body and health!
but since i have been there 12 months in the past 2 years . .i think i understand how that culture is. . . . it took me a long time to really grasp the basics . . now chinese girls are very different 4 grandparents two parents and one child?? but in the philippines its not unusual for a couple to have 6 or 8 or 10 or 12 kids because the kids will take care of the parents and THAT is the big cultural difference. . how many teens are working and giving the money to their parents in this culture??? its a status increase to have a foreigner in the family at any age
its funny cause now im 57 . . and i have girls interested of all ages 18 to 72 . . .and they all want something hahaha
JAN_is: Well you see you are quite wrong. Here in Spain it is still the tradition to care for parents and respect older people. I´m still heartened by this after moving from the UK 8 years ago, and I can tell you that the majority of young people, and older, are happy to do this, yet still maintain a "normal" life with lovers in the same age range.
REALLY . . im impressed..... how does spain become different with normal western culture . . . but then europe is different than north america . . and its been a long time since i was in europe . BY CARE I REFER TO WORKING AND GIVING THE MONEY TO THE PARENTS.
how many grampas and gramas live with their kids in north america?? most pinoy live with the parents until married or leave just for work to help the family
older people like myself are not valued much by our culture... but in the philippines im treated very very differently
and the willingness of millions of girls to date men two or three times their own age is normal . . in the philippines and south america as well . .
call me old fashioned if u like but i believe wen people start a family its up to the parents to take care of them.i certainly wouldnt expect any of mine to get with an oldish man because he has a few quid and can look after the family.im not against age gaps as one daughters partner is 10 years older than her. they together 5 years and have a beautiful daughter and are happy.hes 32 shes 22.id be more worried why a man of his age is going after young girls.to me 37 years gap is wrong.it might be the culture in the philipines but to me its wrong expecting your child to do that just so the familys looked after.jmo
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