Please want your opinion but not advice. (19)
ok heres my opinion NOT advise...if hes ignoring your friend for weeks at a time hes up to something..NOT GOOD...if he loved her YES absolutely he would be there for her Bday...he would answer the text mesages..and calls..not blow her off.. she probably deserves better and should get out now..i would..best of luck to your friend
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Get rid of him, he keeps shutting her out then obvious there is something wrong! And about him not being a good dad cuz of his anxiety.....that is a excuse!
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There at least two people in every relationship . If it is to be successful both need to want it to continue . She has told him about her love . She needs to stay put and let him to come to her and explain . If she wants , she can wait for a fixed period of time and then forget about everything if he does not call . Even if he calls but if he does not sound convincing she should end it for her own good .
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the man is either stupid or a player his anxiety is from having too many girlfreinds and not enough cohonas to talk about it with them.he cant make up his mind or dosnt want to.thats my opion i dont realy know or have enough info.but his actions seem to lead to this conclusion. 
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"But do you think if he love her, he would spend his birthday with her??"
>> Hopefully.
"I know she love him and don't want to lose him.. what do you think the best she can do?"
>> Not for us to determine, you know her better than anyone else on
>> these forums.
>> Hopefully.
"I know she love him and don't want to lose him.. what do you think the best she can do?"
>> Not for us to determine, you know her better than anyone else on
>> these forums.
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sounds like he's married to me
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My best bud of about 20 years also has anxiety attacks. If not treated they become disabling. Maybe this guy is telling the truth, not wanting to see her while he isn't "feeling well" and really doesn't want her to get hurt with the illness. If she does some research on anxiety attacks, maybe she can stear him to a physician that can help. If he has more problems then he is telling her, he may know more than we do and know some of his problems could be passed on to his children, and cares enough not to want to do this. If she really cares for this guy, maybe she should talk to him and find out more about the problem as it very well could be real. Best of luck to them.
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Yea I understand what your saying.. She said that She offer him to get a treatment or see a professional anxiety desorder thearapy. But he didn't have a comment about it and Yea also I told her maybe she can talk to him, but again she said that He don't even want to respond any of her messages or call. 
But its cool you guys have a really good opinion and Thanks.. Im over the phone with her right now.hehe!! but more bad news she is actually crying now, she tells me she just tried to call him again and no answer. :(
But its cool you guys have a really good opinion and Thanks.. Im over the phone with her right now.hehe!! but more bad news she is actually crying now, she tells me she just tried to call him again and no answer. :(
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No He is not married, becaused she used to stay at his house over the weekends and most of her clothes, stuff etc.. is over at his house.. and again she been with him for over a year and she is closed to his parents and familys. :)
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Yea you are right.. I have a few opinion but also I am not sure if its a good one.. lol Becaused my opinion is BREAK UP and this time stand with her word. lol Becaused before she tried to break up and she let him stop her and now he is doing it again...
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you can be with someone and talk all about and around future plans, but when actions ae required freeze city, but the one point that I cannot dismiss lightly, the repeated occurances and duration of no contact... just an opinion but hes not ready for the "just you and me against the world" committment,I'd let them off the hook.. ask for nothing and place no demands, I'd enjoy it for what it is a good time. I would definitely enjoy the goods times with them not get a joint bank account or joint anything with them.
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Absolutely WRONG!!! I don't know whether or not this guy has a true anxiety disordre, but, if he does, anxiety/panic disorder can be a VERY debilitating condition. It can rob you of your ability to function normally while trying to do routine tasks in everyday life, much less being a good parent to a little boy. Do some extensive research before you jump to rash judgments, please.
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I feel sorry for your friend. I don't believe the guy for a second. He's definatly blowing her off. She should move on. Hated to hear that she was crying on the phone to you just now. She needs a good cry after putting up with this thoughtless jerk!
I know someone who is experiencing the very same problem.
Please convince her to give him up!
I know someone who is experiencing the very same problem.
Please convince her to give him up!
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Hey Rob, Thanks for the comment.. Yap Thats what Im trying to do, But I still she is so inlove she know she deserved better.. butu she keep saying she can't let go.. Once before she tried to break up with him and he stop her and now he knows he hurt her feeling once before, but now he is shutting her off with a clueless again. it mean he is not really even trying to put some effort on thier relationship. which its easy for him to say "I love you and I don't want to lose you" But he can't even do a little proved he is serious that He doesn't want to lose her. :( But seriously I feel so bad and feelin sorry for her right now, but who do you feel sorry me or her being in the phone? I don't know what to say other then I just want to help her cry. I hate to say such a thing thats what suppost to be when you handle a sympathy You listen and don't judge. :(( 
I feel bad cuz I don't know what else to say and anyways all I could wish right now, I wish she live near so I can give her a HUGE hugs and help her eat tons of ice cream & chocolate. 
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I think he might have a real problem or a new girl.
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I used to be a 911 operator, we had calls from people with anxiety attacks. They would call us when they got to the point that they could not talk to anyone else. They would literally shut down, even though they were on medication. It is easy to say that he might be a player, because it is hard for most people to understand what he is going through. It sounds like he is in need of a change of medication, the condition is getting worst. Sometimes a drug will stop working or he might be going through a reverse reaction to the drug. The sad part is the person that is suffering is afraid to let anyone around them help comfort them. The anxiety attack can be so so bad that they can't stand to be touched either. They can't stand to even in the same room with someone else. When they are going through this type of reaction, they do not seek professional help. A lot of professionals don't really see this as a real problem. The person generally describe the situation to a professional and the professional never see it in action. This type of problem can lead to suicide, but it is seldom look at in this manner. The reason they would give for calling a 911 center, was that they needed someone to talk to that was not going to give them advice, and wasn't emotionally involve, they just need a faceless voice on the end of the line to just be there. Many of times no talking at all, they just hang on the line, you would have to ask if they were still there. When the attack passed they say thank you and hang up, these were mostly from cell phone that could not be traced.
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I agree with the few people here who have taken the more "analytical" approach to this and not the "emotional" one. Sometimes people suffer from disabilities that are not always easy to diagnose. Unless there is profession intervention...who is anyone to say what those person's symptoms and reactions are? There may also be other disorders present that have not be diagnosed nor may have surfaced previously such as "Bi-polar". Too many of us jump to the most emotional conclusion and rationalize with emotions and judgments, not acceptance and understanding.
Until he is seen by a specialist and she has the information in hand...why destroy something that has obviously been good in the past. What's the next step? They get married and when things are unexplainable she runs? Or he runs? "in sickness and in health"...does also imply mental health. Just my humble opinion. And their relationship is my fault anyway...I'm the DA
Until he is seen by a specialist and she has the information in hand...why destroy something that has obviously been good in the past. What's the next step? They get married and when things are unexplainable she runs? Or he runs? "in sickness and in health"...does also imply mental health. Just my humble opinion. And their relationship is my fault anyway...I'm the DA
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After reading your post it was easy to come to the conclusion this guy was taking your friend for a ride i.e. cheating on her.
Unfortunately, things are not always so cut and dry. Many of the things you told us are classic symptoms of anxiety. I've seen and worked with the mentally ill for years. They are a difficult group to work with especially people with anxiety and bi-polar disorders. Medication can help but once they get to feeling better they stop taking the medication and the cycle goes on. They can be helped but it's a life long journey that requires a lot of patience as there is no cure. Hopefully your friend really understands that. Sounds as though she already know he's not cheating.
By the way, you sound like you are a loyal and dedicated friend.
Good luck
Unfortunately, things are not always so cut and dry. Many of the things you told us are classic symptoms of anxiety. I've seen and worked with the mentally ill for years. They are a difficult group to work with especially people with anxiety and bi-polar disorders. Medication can help but once they get to feeling better they stop taking the medication and the cycle goes on. They can be helped but it's a life long journey that requires a lot of patience as there is no cure. Hopefully your friend really understands that. Sounds as though she already know he's not cheating.
By the way, you sound like you are a loyal and dedicated friend.
Good luck
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Ok this is the way she tell me her story. She been with her boyfriend for almost 1 1/2 year, they were great and very happy in the first year. But 2 months ago her boyfriend stop contacting her for 3 weeks and she tried to break up, when she tried to break up. he didn't want to break up with her becaused He did not want to lose her. When she ask why he had been pushing her away and shutting her off, his excuses was becaused He did not want to put her on his setuation and take off the frustration with her, also he said that He had a anxiety attact 2 years ago and its been happening recently and that he think is worser now then before. Then he explain to her that He don't want to have a child to his own someday becaused he did not think he can be a good dad due to his anxiety desorder. She told him that is not a big deal becaused she have a child to her own from past relationship. But his respond was She might say is not such a big deal right now and He don't want to be in the setuation, she will changed her mind and it will be a big deal and have divorced someday. But they decided to spend time together Sweetest day and last weekend. but after they didn't see or have a good talk for about a month, when they spend time together she said that everything was great again, they didn't talk the whole setuation.. then now her boyfriend is shutting her off again and he don't even respond her text messages or call and before I forget to mention, her bf birthday is coming up, I think Monday. But do you think if he love her, he would spend his birthday with her??
I know she love him and don't want to lose him.. what do you think the best she can do? I appreciate if you guys can help me give her a good opinion...
Thank you so much in advanced.