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When you are driving in traffic, weave a little, the other cars will stay back from you.
If you want to dry out hot peppers faster, microwave them.
If you are becoming a firefighter, start smoking cigarettes, it will acclimatize your lungs to smoky buildings.
If you join the army and go to war, dress as a clown, they are going to be looking for army guys, not clowns.
The best way to bathe a cat is to get in the bathtub with the cat.
If you find yourself in hospital hooked up to a morphine iv, give the bag a squeeze when the nurse is not looking, your day will get much better.