I feel a need ... ( Archived) (20)

Closure doesn't happen on it's own. We make it happen. We make the choice when we're ready for it. Sounds like it's more than curiousity to me...but I have my own as well.

It might give you some sort of closure and you should really do it if you feel the time is right for it

Does it feel more like a part of you was left behind at that spot where the accident happened? Instead of the need to find closure?

Losing your father had to have been awful for you at that age, but it sounds like your return to that site is something more than facing that saddness again.

My guess would be that you really want to go back to that time rather than the place, and you want you father to survive this time. You're alone, you'd love to have a man in your life. The modern dating scene sucks, and seems like a serious impossibility so your mind is trying to recreate another scenario altogether. Go back and be a young girl again only this time have your father live.

I personally don't believe that going to the physical scene will do anything other than maybe convince your mind that going back in time really isn't an option.

I say this because I have extremely strong desires to go back in time to my childhood. Attempting to find a lover at 57 years old is like trying to jump up to the moon with nothing more than the power of my own legs. Sure, in theory miracles can happen, but come on.

When I was young not only where all the young girlies single and completely without expectation and judgmental baggage, but I also had peer support from a lot of a friends both male and female. In fact, if anything I was too cocky. I was thinking I would live forever and things would never change. It will always be like that. Kids are naïve sometimes.

Of course, I could be wrong, but I seriously doubt that you're looking for closure after all these years. I think it more a desire to either go back in time, or at least refresh the memories of your youth. Maybe you fear that you're losing touch with the little girl inside? Or at least the one you knew so well when you were young.

I'm very fortunate in that I live in a place where I spent a lot of time as child so I have lots to remind me of those days. I also like to think of my mother's house a lot in Pittsburgh. I have lots of photos of it from right before I sold it for her. As well as many from my early childhood.

I would not want to go visit my mother's house now even though I had lived in that house off and on most of my life. The reason I don't want to see it now is because I don't want to see it in the hands of strangers who may have done things different with it. In stead I want to remember it precisely as it was. My imagination is so vivid though that I can still close my eye and basically be in that house anytime I want.

Going to the scene of an accident that happened when you were 9 may result in any number of experiences. One possibility is that the place may have changed so drastically that you won't even be able to find the exact place where it happened. Or it could be so perfectly preserved that you can even still see evidence of the actual crash! It's hard to know if you haven't been there since you were 9.

Well, you asked for a theory, there's a theory.

If your feeling a calling to go. Go. What do you have to lose?

From the moment of impact (I remember only shattering glass) until I woke up in the hospital with a broken leg and a fractured arm, all I have to remember that time is what I was told. By my mother, my brother, and my grandmother (who rode to the hospital in the ambulance with my dad). I was a part of this but don't remember any of it for myself. I simply want to see this place where my life changed, for myself.

I think you may find peace of mind there. Best wishes on your journey.

I lost the man I loved (love still) almost 6 years ago. He was killed in an automobile accident. He got in the car with a friend who was driving drunk so that he wasn't alone, instead of just taking the keys away from his friend. His friend lost control of the car and hit a tree, my love was thrown and killed instantly. I have been there quite a few times. The first time I went I felt compelled to go. It hurt so badly and I just felt as if I should be there. I go every year on the anniversary of his death. It helped me and sometimes I feel as if his spirit is still here watching over me. It might give you closure to go back. I hope you find the answers you are looking for.

There is a reason for this. Even if you dont know what it is, then go.

Find out. Take someone with you, even if they only sit in the car.

Feel the atmosphere. Then look at what you feel.

Remember that death is only the beginning.

Maybe you are trying to find that little girl you were before all this happened to you.