Can you forgive and move on!!!! ( Archived) (20)

When your partner whether married or relationship has been unfaithfull, how do you handle it? When I was married, my wife, was unfaithfull to me because we found out that I was sterile and could not give her a baby. What started off aa a cruel joke to me that I was shooting blanks, she ended having an affair with a guy who wanted to help her get pregnant. Thank God she did not get pregnant to him. I was able to forgive and move on, but the trust was gone forever. I agreed to artificial insemination, so we bore 2 children this way. Please share your thoughts with me, how would you have handled the same situation. This happened early in the marriage, and I stayed faithfull, not to her, but to myself. Of course our marriage has ended finally after 26 years, What a waste of life, except for my 2 wonderfull children.

Waste of life except for your two children?

That doesn't make sense.

i would have got out of that situation, earlier on i think.
you say that you "moved on" but by the sounds of it,you never really quite did.
im wondering why you say"of course our marriage has ended finally"
if you had forgiven her as you say?

If the trust was gone forever, how can you say you forgave and moved on?

Moving on after forgiveness....an yet you say the trust is gone....I agree with above post that is not moving on....nor much of a level of forgiveness.....you forgave enought to get along together in life...but you did not forgive all the way if the trust was gone and you were unable to trust after that....I almost walked in those very shoes....but I realized words of forgiveness and trust were not enough and divorced him....thank-goodness I saw the light and didn't waste those 26 years....I had explaining to do with my Son however...who came out of that marraige....but all is well

My ex husband got someone else pregnant while being unfaithful to me. He had the nerve to ask me to stay and accept the unborn baby. I filed for a divorce and never looked back. It has been 2 yrs. this Valentines day since I got the news that she was pregnant. Forgive? I don't know if I ever can! (we were married for 10 yrs.) Forget? It has gotten alot easier, but will always be in the back of my mind. It has built a HUGE wall where trust is for me. I think that everyone forgives and forgets at a different pace. For me, I never forget... but I will eventually forgive, as long as I don't ever have to have him in my life again. Pretty harsh, but, he hurt me intentionally.

I would have left immediately for the same reasons...Once the trust is broken...it's gone....never to return again....I left and divorced my husband for the same reason....He cheated and I could never trust him again and there was no way I was having a marriage or going to live my life always wondering what he would do next!!!!

You were young, married, and shooting blanks

Your wife was young, married to a man that is shooting blanks, and wanting to be a mommy.

You found out shooting blanks is reality, she found out that wasn't good enough, You deal with it, she deals with it differently.

Be thankful that you and she both decided to go the artificial insemination path because that has given you both 2 reasons for unconditional understanding.

Forgiveness is a double edge sword. I shall forgive so I can be forgiven.

Forgiving is not saying what happened is ok, or that it can keep happening. It is to clean out your soul!

The only waste of life I see is the one YOU wasted staying angry and bitter.