If she says, "Tell me WHY?"...would you?? ( Archived) (29)

I'm trying to understand something that happened recently. After a very nice hours-long first date (and, ultimately, LAST date) with a man (he didn't suddenly remember an early appointment the next morning or some sort of escape excuse!), I didn't hear back from him again. OK. I'm a grown woman and can certainly handle this. I'm not emotionally fragile and I'm not the sort of woman that has one good night out and immediately subscribes to "Brides" Magazine! But I was really curious as to why he would compliment me off and on throughout the evening, tell me he wanted to spend as much time as possible with me, tell me very early in our evening that he wanted to kiss me (which he did), and tell me how much he enjoyed being with me and how comfortable he felt with me, etc....and then, nothing further whatsoever.
But back to my question. I sent him an email, after 2 attempts to reach him by phone over several days, and told him, "I get it...yet I don't." In the email, I asked him to just tell me why....why did he obviously NOT want to see me again, although all of his indications and words during our time together told me differently. He DID answer my email, but didn't really answer my question. He told me that I was out of his league, which I'm certain was a b.s. reply. I don't pester men, so I let it go and never contacted him again. But I wonder now...if a woman asks you to tell her WHY you don't choose to see her again (same question applies in reverse for women to answer)...would you?
Appreciate your answers in advance!

"I'm not the sort of woman that has one good night out and immediately subscribes to "Brides" Magazine!"

I like women like that...

I may or may not answer that question honestly by the way... I might just plead the fifth. I've found that when answering that question honestly, I usually get an ear full of crap that I'm really not in the mood to listen to.

Hmmm.. im not sure, that must have been confusing for you because everything he seemed to say and do on the date pointed in the right direction..

(I love your hair!)

(I love your hair!)

Thanks, Eupho...my new best friend!!

Life sucks sometimes, but why should a guy not tell a woman if he's not going to see her again?
If the chemistry isn't there, or he/ she has a problem with the date, then they should be polite enough to tell the other person. Obviously in a polite and dignified manner, after all the first dates are like experiments, who knows what will work or won't?

Well, the fact that he answered your email rules out the fact that he may have been hit by a car and killed. His behaviour is puzzling to me also. Personally, I've never been in that situation so I can't comment from experience. A player, maybe? I guess you should be happy that it never went further than it did. It's unfortunate that it turned out this way for you because you obviously enjoyed the date and were looking forward to more. I'm sorry you were treated this way, you deserve better. Everyone does. Just keep trying and some nice gentleman will come along and before you know it...dream come true! We can all relate to you. I'm sure everyone who reads this has had to deal with a sad situation leaving us with a feeling similar to yours. It's not a lot of comfort, but we understand and you're not alone. Here's a hug.

Hang in there.

Thanks, Topside! All is well...I was bummed out for a bit (not gonna deny it), but this happened a few weeks ago and I got over it quite quickly. Still, I occasionally wonder why. That's all. But I appreciate your kind words....a hug back at ya!

My pleasure. And, I like your hair, too.