how many men?women u dated before u found THE ONE???? (11)

and....do u think woman/man should date more men/women in order to find out what type of man/woman suits her best, for long lasting happiness? and if yes how many?:)

Well, I think, that could become a long, long process, to date a bunch of men, compare and then decide, who was the One, and meanwhile he might have found someone else!
But serious, unfortunately there will be no general advice.

Isn't that what we are doing when we date, discovering who we are suited to? Can we really decide how many relationships we intend to have in order to find somebody we want to be with forever? It's just not that simple otherwise there would be nobody on this site or any other dating site, we'd all be too busy dating and counting!

I had many dates during my teenage years (I married at 18) but I don't think they made me any the wiser about successful, long lasting relationships. I had one with my ex husband, well at least it was successful for about 20 years.

Now that I have fewer dates.....much fewer I feel that I know what type of man suits me, or maybe I'm just more picky!

I don't think the number of dates have any bearing. When you find the right one, it is sometimes by surprize. :-) Not really what you were expecting. Yet you also fear that it will not work out. There is an old saying, "it takes two to tangle", just because you want it does not mean that the person you are with wants the same. When you both find the right person, you will know. Or so I think

I don't know if I found the right woman yet, so I cannot tell you how many women I should date to find the right one.

What I can tell you for sure is that if we both manage to have some good fun together every time I have a new date, I would be very happy indeed. It is adding experience to my life, and with every date it is like putting some more savings into my bank.
So I don't need to win the lottery (finding the perfect match), all those little glorious moments of fun add up to the jackpot prize in the end.

More seriously, I think that the fun is not only attempting to find the perfect partner, but in discovering the beauty in every woman, especially in her character and in her body.

u said it so wisely....and i guess u are right.......if the person make us feel good and we feel good about them its all that matter really.....

if our hearts and eyes are open we can see something of winning quality in all our partners..regardless how bad they may be..so i guess dont search for the ideal, but enjoy the present:):):)

and i like the way u compared it to the lottery........
....someone said it...life does not have to be perfect to be wonderful...
thanks for post.....

How longs a piece of string?

Actually, I know the answer to that one.

Twice the distance from the middle to the end.

But, regards to your question..., I would say, until you know you have found your lobster.... ;-p

Actually,,,, this is not really a great converstaion sparkler.

A question asked so many times, be it here on CS and btw. me and myself. Who knows when the right one will come around?
I guess all my past dates were the right one when I met them, otherwise it would have been an insane act to date them.
Opinions change, and a story may last a few weeks, a few months, even a few years.

Looking back to my past stories I am happy about the outcome and all I've learnt.

I also always believed in leaving enough time between one story and another, time for myself to realise where were my weak points and faults, change and also accept what I could not.

As time goes by we might get more choosy, leading to less chance for finding that someone we would like to meet. But it's all a process of growth, trying our best to avoid past pitfalls.

Going back to your question, some people have had a first date and spent years with the same partner happily and still are together.
Sometimes meeting the right person the first time may be dangerous as well, it's kinda not knowing what the world around offers, other than what we have.

A note about 'Long Lasting Happiness'
Happiness isn't something that persists like when leaving the lightswitch in the ON position.
Happiness is the result of a change towards something we wish. Once our wish comes true, we will immediately lookout for something else, so the happiness gained through our pursuit is only temporary.

I could talk endlessly about the subject and might tend to get a bit too technical, philosophic or whatever. However if you want to read what seeds my views, google up a search on Max Wurtheimer, Gestalt Contact Cycle.