New guy... now what? ( Archived) (28)

Feb 16, 2008 5:30 PM CST New guy... now what?
sweety_33
sweety_33sweety_33Dania, Florida USA5 Threads 33 Posts
I've been talking to a guy I met on another site for over three weeks. For one reason or another (usually because of me), we haven't been able to meet until now. We're going out tonight. Although he's as nice as could be and seems truly genuine and has a lot of what I look for, I'm not sure I'll be attracted. I saw his pic, and it wasn't great. I hope he's better in person.

I hate to sound shallow here, but looks do matter a little. Personality and all that do too, but if you aren't attracted, there's no use pursuing more than a friendship. So, what do I do if he's butt ugly or disgusting? It will be hard to disguise that if it's shocking.

I hate blind dates!!!
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Feb 16, 2008 5:34 PM CST New guy... now what?
rockroller63
rockroller63rockroller63Alton, Illinois USA28 Threads 418 Posts
Go for it...you only live onceconversing
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Feb 16, 2008 5:34 PM CST New guy... now what?
Zellarrone1
Zellarrone1Zellarrone1Hull, East Riding of Yorkshire, England UK33 Threads 4 Polls 7,644 Posts
sweety_33: I've been talking to a guy I met on another site for over three weeks. For one reason or another (usually because of me), we haven't been able to meet until now. We're going out tonight. Although he's as nice as could be and seems truly genuine and has a lot of what I look for, I'm not sure I'll be attracted. I saw his pic, and it wasn't great. I hope he's better in person.

I hate to sound shallow here, but looks do matter a little. Personality and all that do too, but if you aren't attracted, there's no use pursuing more than a friendship. So, what do I do if he's butt ugly or disgusting? It will be hard to disguise that if it's shocking.

I hate blind dates!!!


Best to make sure it's a dimly lit restaurant or bar that you're going to then if you do look shocked at least he won't see your expression clearly wine
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Feb 16, 2008 5:37 PM CST New guy... now what?
sweety_33
sweety_33sweety_33Dania, Florida USA5 Threads 33 Posts
Good tip! I'll try to think of somewhere. He just called to say he's on his way. Yikes!!!
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Feb 16, 2008 5:38 PM CST New guy... now what?
sweety_33
sweety_33sweety_33Dania, Florida USA5 Threads 33 Posts
Oh - I'll give details after... If my posts are before midnight, you'll know.
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Feb 16, 2008 5:40 PM CST New guy... now what?
Zellarrone1
Zellarrone1Zellarrone1Hull, East Riding of Yorkshire, England UK33 Threads 4 Polls 7,644 Posts
sweety_33: Oh - I'll give details after... If my posts are before midnight, you'll know.


Okay, I'm sure he'll look fine though, have a great evening wine
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Feb 16, 2008 5:44 PM CST New guy... now what?
martyg
martygmartygDublin/Kildare, Dublin Ireland55 Threads 3 Polls 4,322 Posts
sweety_33: I've been talking to a guy I met on another site for over three weeks. For one reason or another (usually because of me), we haven't been able to meet until now. We're going out tonight. Although he's as nice as could be and seems truly genuine and has a lot of what I look for, I'm not sure I'll be attracted. I saw his pic, and it wasn't great. I hope he's better in person.

I hate to sound shallow here, but looks do matter a little. Personality and all that do too, but if you aren't attracted, there's no use pursuing more than a friendship. So, what do I do if he's butt ugly or disgusting? It will be hard to disguise that if it's shocking.

I hate blind dates!!!



DAMN WOMAN!!YOU SAID MY PIC LOOKED GOOD!!!blues


Well with a bit of luck he will stand you up anywaytongue

you should have been honest with him..grin irish
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Feb 16, 2008 5:44 PM CST New guy... now what?
lusciousmile
lusciousmilelusciousmileThere, Aland Islands Finland25 Threads 2 Polls 11,989 Posts
Zellarrone1: Best to make sure it's a dimly lit restaurant or bar that you're going to then if you do look shocked at least he won't see your expression clearly


rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
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Feb 16, 2008 5:56 PM CST New guy... now what?
sweetliberty
sweetlibertysweetlibertyNorthwest, Arkansas USA4 Threads 77 Posts
sweety_33: I've been talking to a guy I met on another site for over three weeks. For one reason or another (usually because of me), we haven't been able to meet until now. We're going out tonight. Although he's as nice as could be and seems truly genuine and has a lot of what I look for, I'm not sure I'll be attracted. I saw his pic, and it wasn't great. I hope he's better in person.



Of course looks matter. Anyone who says they don't is either blind, lying or content to be celibate.

As to your situation, the man that has me completely losing my mind right now started out exactly as you describe. I met him on another site. There was nothing in his profile that particularly appealed to me, and I dodn't find him attractive, based on the picture he'd posted, but because he was so nice and so persistent (without being pushy), I agreed to go out with him. He turned out to be MUCH better looking than his picture...very attractive, in fact, and I found after meeting him, he had nearly all the qualities I wanted and then some.

Go for it..and best of luck with it.
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Feb 16, 2008 6:18 PM CST New guy... now what?
girlnextdormouse
girlnextdormousegirlnextdormouseMarietta, Ohio USA34 Threads 544 Posts
Looks matter to some people.
Looks don't matter to some people.


I hope your blind date feels exactly about you,
as you feel about him.
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Feb 16, 2008 6:23 PM CST New guy... now what?
PILIPALA
PILIPALAPILIPALACardiff, South Glamorgan, Wales UK200 Threads 4,804 Posts
I have to be initially attracted to someone. But i have met men through work and friend where attraction as come when i got to know them.
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Feb 17, 2008 12:26 AM CST New guy... now what?
sweety_33
sweety_33sweety_33Dania, Florida USA5 Threads 33 Posts
Okay, back from the date. He was better looking than I thought. It went okay. Nothing to write home about. We went to dinner, which was okay. He ate a lot. I mean a lot. I didn't know what we were doing after, so I wasn't sure if I should wrap my meal to go or not (there was more than half of it left), and he ate it! Plus all of his. Okay, fine. Then, he asked me what I wanted to do, and nothing I suggested seemed to sit well with him. He shot all my ideas down. I said okay, where do you want to go? I'm new to my area and he grew up here, so I thought he'd have some ideas. He kept asking me. So, finally we went to some car show where he goes often (he has a classic car), and then we drove around some. Then, I said I was tired (I really am), and he ended up driving me home. We talked a bit, and then I said goodnight. That was it. Oh, and he proclaimed how much he liked me and wanted to see me again. I guess I would, but it was just okay. I don't know if we're that compatible. We have a lot in common professionally and all that, but we couldn't even decide what to do tonight. I don't think we have the same interests. Honestly, I was a bit bored. Oh, and he talked about himself a lot. A whole lot. So, then he asked me at one point how he did. I was like, what do you mean? He said, oh, I must be judging him in some way; he basically wanted to know what I thought. So, I told him. I said that while it was fine he wanted to share with me, he didn't seem to ask me a whole lot about me. So, then he was apologetic and said sometimes he's uncomfortable asking about someone else because he doesn't want to ask the wrong questions. Eh - whatever! In writing about it here, I think afterall it wasn't great, and I don't know if I'd go out with him again. I'm not upset, but not that thrilled either.

Oh well...
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Feb 17, 2008 12:45 AM CST New guy... now what?
alabamabebe
alabamabebealabamabebeBanks of the Warrior River, Alabama USA66 Threads 3 Polls 4,404 Posts
Oh well is right. Sounds like the one I went on today. frustrated
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Feb 17, 2008 12:48 AM CST New guy... now what?
mastic55
mastic55mastic55Long Island, New York USA167 Threads 6,859 Posts
To me it sound's like a nice first date, it broke the ice, get to know each other and maybe it will work out.
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Feb 17, 2008 1:08 AM CST New guy... now what?
Claayer
ClaayerClaayerWild Wild South West, Cornwall, England UK107 Threads 9 Polls 15,888 Posts
sweety_33: I've been talking to a guy I met on another site for over three weeks. For one reason or another (usually because of me), we haven't been able to meet until now. We're going out tonight. Although he's as nice as could be and seems truly genuine and has a lot of what I look for, I'm not sure I'll be attracted. I saw his pic, and it wasn't great. I hope he's better in person.

I hate to sound shallow here, but looks do matter a little. Personality and all that do too, but if you aren't attracted, there's no use pursuing more than a friendship. So, what do I do if he's butt ugly or disgusting? It will be hard to disguise that if it's shocking.

I hate blind dates!!!


wave

You are going out tonight.. not making a commitment to spend the rest of your life with him giggle.

You only need to be pleasant and polite.. nothing more needs to come of it after that if you don't want it too..

don't worry. hug
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Feb 17, 2008 1:09 AM CST New guy... now what?
Claayer
ClaayerClaayerWild Wild South West, Cornwall, England UK107 Threads 9 Polls 15,888 Posts
Zellarrone1: Best to make sure it's a dimly lit restaurant or bar that you're going to then if you do look shocked at least he won't see your expression clearly


rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing roll eyes
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Feb 17, 2008 1:13 AM CST New guy... now what?
rasgumby
rasgumbyrasgumbyMoberly, Missouri USA99 Threads 10 Polls 4,665 Posts
Here chicky chicky chicky...Here chicky chicky chicky...Here chicky chicky chicky...

I can't find her anywhere..............
{quickly moving to look in the next thread}tongue
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Feb 17, 2008 4:10 AM CST New guy... now what?
Zellarrone1
Zellarrone1Zellarrone1Hull, East Riding of Yorkshire, England UK33 Threads 4 Polls 7,644 Posts
sweety_33: Okay, back from the date. He was better looking than I thought. It went okay. Nothing to write home about. We went to dinner, which was okay. He ate a lot. I mean a lot. I didn't know what we were doing after, so I wasn't sure if I should wrap my meal to go or not (there was more than half of it left), and he ate it! Plus all of his. Okay, fine. Then, he asked me what I wanted to do, and nothing I suggested seemed to sit well with him. He shot all my ideas down. I said okay, where do you want to go? I'm new to my area and he grew up here, so I thought he'd have some ideas. He kept asking me. So, finally we went to some car show where he goes often (he has a classic car), and then we drove around some. Then, I said I was tired (I really am), and he ended up driving me home. We talked a bit, and then I said goodnight. That was it. Oh, and he proclaimed how much he liked me and wanted to see me again. I guess I would, but it was just okay. I don't know if we're that compatible. We have a lot in common professionally and all that, but we couldn't even decide what to do tonight. I don't think we have the same interests. Honestly, I was a bit bored. Oh, and he talked about himself a lot. A whole lot. So, then he asked me at one point how he did. I was like, what do you mean? He said, oh, I must be judging him in some way; he basically wanted to know what I thought. So, I told him. I said that while it was fine he wanted to share with me, he didn't seem to ask me a whole lot about me. So, then he was apologetic and said sometimes he's uncomfortable asking about someone else because he doesn't want to ask the wrong questions. Eh - whatever! In writing about it here, I think afterall it wasn't great, and I don't know if I'd go out with him again. I'm not upset, but not that thrilled either.

Oh well...


He sounds similar to the one I went on a blind date with 10 years ago and I ended up falling sleep because all he did was talk about himself also.

Who knows? maybe it was even the same one! Did he have a very boring voice and look like Mr Bean by any chance dunno

You will have to have a think about it all and decide if you want to try a second date with him to see if it's any better as it doesn't sound as if it could be much worse help

Good luck anyways bouquet
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Feb 17, 2008 7:50 AM CST New guy... now what?
skwidwurd
skwidwurdskwidwurdAberdeen, Grampian, Scotland UK37 Threads 631 Posts
sounds kinda awkward but it really might be worth giving it another go. i remember a particular frosty first date i had and when i agreed to go on another we ended up lasting 5 years. you really can't know a person after just one date. Sometimes i tend to talk a lot about myself if my date is quiet. it's just my way of avoiding an uncomfortable silence. my advice would be to go out again and make sure you enjoy yourself. wink
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Feb 17, 2008 12:40 PM CST New guy... now what?
sweety_33
sweety_33sweety_33Dania, Florida USA5 Threads 33 Posts
In retrospect, I realized a few things. We're from totally different backgrounds, we had a hard time deciding what to do after dinner (anything I suggested he basically shot down), and I'm just not that attracted to him. I just don't think it will improve. If he calls again (he did call on his way home to "hear my voice"), I will tell him thanks, but no thanks.
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