I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO MY FREIND'S NOW AN ALCOHOLIC AND NOW HIS WIFE IS THINKING OF DIVORCING HIM (87)
highplains: You should give her a good shoulder to cry on....
Then bone her at the first opportunity......
Then bone her at the first opportunity......
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dragonfly88:
so I suppose it can be done but how long can it be mantained for?
so I suppose it can be done but how long can it be mantained for?
I've got over two years behind me!
Gilly, I would recommend that you seriously consider HJ's advice.
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no way....dude....get it while it's hot....get it while it's hot......
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highplains: and you should continue boning her regularly while telling your friend what a b*tch she is.......
You have a one track mind...nothing wrong with that just wanted to point it out to you...
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gingerb: Sorry you had a bad experience with someone previously. I can understand your fears, but I don't see that this is any reason to attack me, (and you are very distinctly attacking me here), with platitudes, quotes, proverbs and other such drivel, without knowing anything about my "knowledge" or experience.
If certificaton and experience qualify as "knowledge" in your experience, then it might surprise you to know that I have those too.
If you have the time to properly read all of this thread, you will find that nowhere have I given information, insubstantial or otherwise, to anyone, that might endanger life.
BTW I notice you are not taking DadofDucks to task for saying the same things I did. Just wondering why that might be? We ALL write in threads AS WE SEE FIT, and nobody, not even you, have the right to tell any one person off, or disparage their remarks, for what they write.
I'd rather, also, that you didn't use Gilly's thread for your personal vendetta because he deserves better than this.
If certificaton and experience qualify as "knowledge" in your experience, then it might surprise you to know that I have those too.
If you have the time to properly read all of this thread, you will find that nowhere have I given information, insubstantial or otherwise, to anyone, that might endanger life.
BTW I notice you are not taking DadofDucks to task for saying the same things I did. Just wondering why that might be? We ALL write in threads AS WE SEE FIT, and nobody, not even you, have the right to tell any one person off, or disparage their remarks, for what they write.
I'd rather, also, that you didn't use Gilly's thread for your personal vendetta because he deserves better than this.
I am NOT attacking you. If that is your perception, so be it but it is "YOURS". I am stating facts as I know them.
I have had no "bad" experience with anyone, I have only had experiences placed before me. Because of those experiences, I have done much study on the "experience" at hand.
As for using Gilly's thread to personal attack, WRONG!!!!!! Having experience and knowledge at hand, I cannot and will not sit back and let a man that is asking how he can help a friend be given false information..
As for DOD, possibly I will go back and read all posted. I have no problem stating fact about research done by those much more qualified than those stating their experience or opinions in this forum.
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gillyloves69: its not as simple as all that !
It's actually quite simple......
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DadofDucks: I wont get into the whole disease, clincal diagnosise debate. Gilly Its called enabling. Spouces tend to help the drunks to keep drinking. Only by getting away from them do most realize it.
She needs to cut her loses and get away from him, he may die or he may recover, but until he decides its what HE wants to do fro HIMSELF, nothing will change he will drink until he dies and take as many people with him as he can. Its sad but true.
As for Dragonfly. Im a rcovering alcholic and Ive been sober for 20 years now. So yes it is possible...
She needs to cut her loses and get away from him, he may die or he may recover, but until he decides its what HE wants to do fro HIMSELF, nothing will change he will drink until he dies and take as many people with him as he can. Its sad but true.
As for Dragonfly. Im a rcovering alcholic and Ive been sober for 20 years now. So yes it is possible...
As I stated earlier, "SHE" needs to attend Al Anon for she is just as sick as he is... Most of those in alcoholic relationships have no clue of this "fact"..------ This thread is Archived ------
HJFinAZ: I cannot and will not sit back and let a man that is asking how he can help a friend be given false information..
I have no problem stating fact about research done by those much more qualified than those stating their experience or opinions in this forum.
I have no problem stating fact about research done by those much more qualified than those stating their experience or opinions in this forum.
What facts have you stated that will help him?
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HJFinAZ: As I stated earlier, "SHE" needs to attend Al Anon for she is just as sick as he is... Most of those in alcoholic relationships have no clue of this "fact"..
Gilly stated that the wife was also alcoholic........
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Almost everything he has put forth on the subject is textbook info from a program that has been incredibly sucessful at helping alcoholics, and thier families all over the world from as early as the 1930's.
They are indeed facts that are widely acknowledged by both the medical, and psycological communities. Alcoholism is a disease, it is a family disease. Breaking up the marriage, without getting any other help, is like trading a symptom for a side effect.
They are indeed facts that are widely acknowledged by both the medical, and psycological communities. Alcoholism is a disease, it is a family disease. Breaking up the marriage, without getting any other help, is like trading a symptom for a side effect.
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diogenes: Breaking up the marriage, without getting any other help, is like trading a symptom for a side effect.
I agree, but doesn't AA reccommend not being in a turbulent relationship in the early stages of recovery?
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gingerb: I agree, but doesn't AA reccommend not being in a turbulent relationship in the early stages of recovery?
"All members of the family should meet upon the common ground of tolerance, understanding and love..."
The "AA Big Book" Chapter 9
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diogenes: "All members of the family should meet upon the common ground of tolerance, understanding and love..."
The "AA Big Book" Chapter 9
The "AA Big Book" Chapter 9
Yeah, I was just suggesting that that might not always be possible.
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gingerb: Yeah, I was just suggesting that that might not always be possible.
Of course that should be true of every family. It's also true that it may not always be possible. For some people, "hitting bottom" is a longer drop than for others. Still, we are almost forced to admit that bailing out would at least make that possibility more difficult.
One of the great things about the AA program, is that we get to meet all sorts of people from all different walks of life that share a common problem. Not everyone's problem is like our own, but you will almost certainly meet someone that you relate to, and can learn from.
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diogenes:
One of the great things about the AA program, is that we get to meet all sorts of people from all different walks of life that share a common problem. Not everyone's problem is like our own, but you will almost certainly meet someone that you relate to, and can learn from.
One of the great things about the AA program, is that we get to meet all sorts of people from all different walks of life that share a common problem. Not everyone's problem is like our own, but you will almost certainly meet someone that you relate to, and can learn from.
Agreed
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Alcohol will remove stains from clothes. But stains from clothes are not the only things alcohol will remove.
Alcohol will remove the clothes as well.
Strange as it may seem, alcohol will do this not only for the man who drinks it, but also for his wife and children.
Alcohol will remove smiles from the faces of wives and mothers. Or husbands and fathers. It will remove laughter from the lips of innocent children. It will remove even the joy of playtime.
Alcohol will remove heat from the home, furniture from its rooms, and food from its table.
Alcohol is a great remover. As a remover of things alcohol has no peer.
It removes fine homes and leaves hovels.
It removes plenty and leaves poverty.
It removes fame and leaves shame.
It removes honor and leaves humiliation.
It removes self-esteem and leaves disgust.
But removing things is not all that alcohol will do. It not only removes stains, but also creates them.
Alcohol can quickly stain a reputation. Worse, it can gradually stain and deform a character. It can mar the potential of any man or woman who indulges. And it can ultimately ruin the person caught in its deceptive snare.
Alcohol can mark a man for life with its cursed stain. And it can remove from one's experience everything, great or small, that makes life worthwhile.
But that is not the worst that can happen to man. It will remove from his heart all hope.
anon.
Alcohol will remove the clothes as well.
Strange as it may seem, alcohol will do this not only for the man who drinks it, but also for his wife and children.
Alcohol will remove smiles from the faces of wives and mothers. Or husbands and fathers. It will remove laughter from the lips of innocent children. It will remove even the joy of playtime.
Alcohol will remove heat from the home, furniture from its rooms, and food from its table.
Alcohol is a great remover. As a remover of things alcohol has no peer.
It removes fine homes and leaves hovels.
It removes plenty and leaves poverty.
It removes fame and leaves shame.
It removes honor and leaves humiliation.
It removes self-esteem and leaves disgust.
But removing things is not all that alcohol will do. It not only removes stains, but also creates them.
Alcohol can quickly stain a reputation. Worse, it can gradually stain and deform a character. It can mar the potential of any man or woman who indulges. And it can ultimately ruin the person caught in its deceptive snare.
Alcohol can mark a man for life with its cursed stain. And it can remove from one's experience everything, great or small, that makes life worthwhile.
But that is not the worst that can happen to man. It will remove from his heart all hope.
anon.
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trish123: Alcohol will remove stains from clothes. But stains from clothes are not the only things alcohol will remove.
Alcohol will remove the clothes as well.
Strange as it may seem, alcohol will do this not only for the man who drinks it, but also for his wife and children.
Alcohol will remove smiles from the faces of wives and mothers. Or husbands and fathers. It will remove laughter from the lips of innocent children. It will remove even the joy of playtime.
Alcohol will remove heat from the home, furniture from its rooms, and food from its table.
Alcohol is a great remover. As a remover of things alcohol has no peer.
It removes fine homes and leaves hovels.
It removes plenty and leaves poverty.
It removes fame and leaves shame.
It removes honor and leaves humiliation.
It removes self-esteem and leaves disgust.
But removing things is not all that alcohol will do. It not only removes stains, but also creates them.
Alcohol can quickly stain a reputation. Worse, it can gradually stain and deform a character. It can mar the potential of any man or woman who indulges. And it can ultimately ruin the person caught in its deceptive snare.
Alcohol can mark a man for life with its cursed stain. And it can remove from one's experience everything, great or small, that makes life worthwhile.
But that is not the worst that can happen to man. It will remove from his heart all hope.
anon.
Alcohol will remove the clothes as well.
Strange as it may seem, alcohol will do this not only for the man who drinks it, but also for his wife and children.
Alcohol will remove smiles from the faces of wives and mothers. Or husbands and fathers. It will remove laughter from the lips of innocent children. It will remove even the joy of playtime.
Alcohol will remove heat from the home, furniture from its rooms, and food from its table.
Alcohol is a great remover. As a remover of things alcohol has no peer.
It removes fine homes and leaves hovels.
It removes plenty and leaves poverty.
It removes fame and leaves shame.
It removes honor and leaves humiliation.
It removes self-esteem and leaves disgust.
But removing things is not all that alcohol will do. It not only removes stains, but also creates them.
Alcohol can quickly stain a reputation. Worse, it can gradually stain and deform a character. It can mar the potential of any man or woman who indulges. And it can ultimately ruin the person caught in its deceptive snare.
Alcohol can mark a man for life with its cursed stain. And it can remove from one's experience everything, great or small, that makes life worthwhile.
But that is not the worst that can happen to man. It will remove from his heart all hope.
anon.
Worst of it is until they see they have a problem, their loved one's can do nothing. It wreaks more than just there life------ This thread is Archived ------
Thanks Morgan, you are so right and in overcoming this addiction, what will work so well for one person isnt necessarily a tried and tested panacea for all people.
There are many for whom the 12 step programme does not work - for various reasons - Im afraid this is not a 'one solution fits all' kinda problem and while I do accept that the AA has helped a very lot of people, they are the only ones we hear about - not the ones that it has failed.
There are many for whom the 12 step programme does not work - for various reasons - Im afraid this is not a 'one solution fits all' kinda problem and while I do accept that the AA has helped a very lot of people, they are the only ones we hear about - not the ones that it has failed.
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you took the words right outa my mouth Gilly - Hiya 
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Then bone her at the first opportunity......