Do You Change? (40)
yoursuperman: Thats whats wrong with the world today so much change and nothing is staying the same. Be who we are not who they want us to be.
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Serenity1971: This may sound kind of selfish, but...
The most important relationship is the one I have with myself and my Higher Power. If I'm going to change it's for self improvement, not because someone else wants me to. I will compromise, but not at the expense of my values beliefs or me as a person. I don't expect a person to change in order to suit me, we either accept each other as we are or not, and if not there can be no relationship. I will however point out to the person I am in the relationship with if it's not going to work, why it's not going to work for me. I don't want someone that is going to compromise themselves for me either. If we keep our expectations low or out of the picture all together, we aren't disappointed. Accept ourselves for who we are and accept others for who they are. All will be well
The most important relationship is the one I have with myself and my Higher Power. If I'm going to change it's for self improvement, not because someone else wants me to. I will compromise, but not at the expense of my values beliefs or me as a person. I don't expect a person to change in order to suit me, we either accept each other as we are or not, and if not there can be no relationship. I will however point out to the person I am in the relationship with if it's not going to work, why it's not going to work for me. I don't want someone that is going to compromise themselves for me either. If we keep our expectations low or out of the picture all together, we aren't disappointed. Accept ourselves for who we are and accept others for who they are. All will be well
Co-operate,yes,Compromise,Nope.
Compromise,in spite of it's "Popularity" has never made anyone happy.
Change to what I want to be,from then on it is GROWTH.
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Serenity1971: The thread about wanting/expecting too much got me think, and I had done this thread a long time ago, but since it was archived I can't resurrect it so.....
When you're in a relationship with someone, do you change who you are in order to make the other person happy?
Do you find a way to compromise with the other person so that there's a give and take?
Do you expect the other person to change in order to fit your wants or needs?
When you're in a relationship with someone, do you change who you are in order to make the other person happy?
Do you find a way to compromise with the other person so that there's a give and take?
Do you expect the other person to change in order to fit your wants or needs?
Yes - definately!
sometimes its fot the better other times not
either way, both partners make compromises at some level.
The intersting thing is that one your out of a relationship then the question for me is:-
do you revert to your former self?
If you changed for a relationship, does that change stay with you for ever?
I am out now and I know i am more like my old self, however, there is definately a part of my ex that stays with me!
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You have to accept your partner for who they are, that means faults and all, as i do believe no one is perfect in this world....We all make mistakes and learn from them, but my gran always said....Once is a mistake but twice or more is a habit....
You cant go into a relationship hoping to change the other person, as you are fooling yourself first and being dishonest to the other person. Compromise plays a big part in a relationship when first starting out...as both of you are coming from different places in your life, when you first meet up..well thats just my opinion
You cant go into a relationship hoping to change the other person, as you are fooling yourself first and being dishonest to the other person. Compromise plays a big part in a relationship when first starting out...as both of you are coming from different places in your life, when you first meet up..well thats just my opinion
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tinymac: Yes - definately!
sometimes its fot the better other times not
either way, both partners make compromises at some level.
The intersting thing is that one your out of a relationship then the question for me is:-
do you revert to your former self?
If you changed for a relationship, does that change stay with you for ever?
I am out now and I know i am more like my old self, however, there is definately a part of my ex that stays with me!
sometimes its fot the better other times not
either way, both partners make compromises at some level.
The intersting thing is that one your out of a relationship then the question for me is:-
do you revert to your former self?
If you changed for a relationship, does that change stay with you for ever?
I am out now and I know i am more like my old self, however, there is definately a part of my ex that stays with me!
In my experience I was always trying to change to keep my ex happy but he never was..now he has gone Im back to my old self or so Ive been told many times....and I am glad to be back and sooooooo much happier
I may be a bit hot to handle for some guys but I dont intend to change...its me take it or leave it ------ This thread is Archived ------
Take Me As I Am (Or Let Me Go)
Bob Dylan/Boudleaux Bryant
May 1969
SELF PORTRAIT
Why must you always try to make me over
Take me as i am or let me go
White lilies never grow on stalks of clover
Take me as i am or let me go.
You're tryin' to reshape me in a mold love
In the image of someone you used to know
But i won't be a-standin' for an old love
Take me as i am or let me go.
You tried to change me ever since you've met me
Take me as i am or let me go
If you can't overlook my faults, forget me
Take me as i am or let me go.
You're tryin' to reshape me in a mold love
In the image of someone you used to know
But i won't be a-standin' for an old love
Take me as i am or let me go.
Bob Dylan/Boudleaux Bryant
May 1969
SELF PORTRAIT
Why must you always try to make me over
Take me as i am or let me go
White lilies never grow on stalks of clover
Take me as i am or let me go.
You're tryin' to reshape me in a mold love
In the image of someone you used to know
But i won't be a-standin' for an old love
Take me as i am or let me go.
You tried to change me ever since you've met me
Take me as i am or let me go
If you can't overlook my faults, forget me
Take me as i am or let me go.
You're tryin' to reshape me in a mold love
In the image of someone you used to know
But i won't be a-standin' for an old love
Take me as i am or let me go.
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Magic Conrad
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Crystal29: Magic Conrad
!!! ------ This thread is Archived ------
shipoker55: to much emphasis put on the word compromise and not enough on the word negotiate.....JMO, of course
Have to agree with that Ship, compromise to me means I have to give up something...negotiate means we both get to keep a little of what we want and work on the rest together, n'est pa?
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Serenity1971: The thread about wanting/expecting too much got me think, and I had done this thread a long time ago, but since it was archived I can't resurrect it so.....
When you're in a relationship with someone, do you change who you are in order to make the other person happy?
Do you find a way to compromise with the other person so that there's a give and take?
Do you expect the other person to change in order to fit your wants or needs?
One person should not try to change another. If you feel the need to change your S/O, then you probably shouldn't be in that relationship in the first place. When you try to change another person to suit your needs, that's when problems in the relationship begin, and it's headed for doom. IF any changes are to be made they need to come from within. The only one that can change you, is you.When you're in a relationship with someone, do you change who you are in order to make the other person happy?
Do you find a way to compromise with the other person so that there's a give and take?
Do you expect the other person to change in order to fit your wants or needs?
------ This thread is Archived ------
Serenity1971: The thread about wanting/expecting too much got me think, and I had done this thread a long time ago, but since it was archived I can't resurrect it so.....
When you're in a relationship with someone, do you change who you are in order to make the other person happy?
Do you find a way to compromise with the other person so that there's a give and take?
Do you expect the other person to change in order to fit your wants or needs?
When you're in a relationship with someone, do you change who you are in order to make the other person happy?
Do you find a way to compromise with the other person so that there's a give and take?
Do you expect the other person to change in order to fit your wants or needs?
Unfortunately I do think I have a tendency to do that.. Tho I don't think it's to 'make them happy' .. more because I don't want them to think/see I'm a bit bonkers around the edges.. so I tend to be on my best behaviour..
which actually isn't very me 
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Serenity1971: This may sound kind of selfishnice, but...
The most important relationship is the one I have with myself and my Higher Power. If I'm going to change it's for self improvement, not because someone else wants me to. I will compromise, but not at the expense of my values beliefs or me as a person. I don't expect a person to change in order to suit me, we either accept each other as we are or not, and if not there can be no relationship. I will however point out to the person I am in the relationship with if it's not going to work, why it's not going to work for me. I don't want someone that is going to compromise themselves for me either. If we keep our expectations low or out of the picture all together, we aren't disappointed. Accept ourselves for who we are and accept others for who they are. All will be well
The most important relationship is the one I have with myself and my Higher Power. If I'm going to change it's for self improvement, not because someone else wants me to. I will compromise, but not at the expense of my values beliefs or me as a person. I don't expect a person to change in order to suit me, we either accept each other as we are or not, and if not there can be no relationship. I will however point out to the person I am in the relationship with if it's not going to work, why it's not going to work for me. I don't want someone that is going to compromise themselves for me either. If we keep our expectations low or out of the picture all together, we aren't disappointed. Accept ourselves for who we are and accept others for who they are. All will be well
I so over the top agree with this post Serenity. My last relationship I can honestly say that I did not in any way try and change my girlfriend. I just understood. She tried to change me here and there...like getting up in the morning exactly when she gets up or showing her love the way she wished for me to show her love.....like giving her a baby. I simply told her that is how I am and that I would try and get up every so often to get up around sevenish in the morning with her.
There are two halves in a relationship, we are only responsible for taking care of our half, not the others. When we overstep that, then we get into controlling our partner, then the hell begins. That is not love or respect. It's pure egoism. A partner must have the liberty to be oneself in peace and in understanding. That is why it is important to take your partner as she is...as he is. And we cannot pretend to be something we are not when we introduce ourselves to potential partners. Because down the road, the real you will show, and your partner will be somewhat confused and disappointed. Most important, you will be angry with yourself for lying to yourself.
It is simple, if somebody constantly wants to change you or vice versa, then that partner is not for you. It will never work. Why get a cat when you wish for a dog? You can't make your cat do dog tricks can ya? How do you know who is the right one? The one who gives you the liberty to be yourself, to love you as you are and not how you should be. If the relationship gets in the "why can't you" or "you never" phase, it's not a good sign, but it can be worked out if the person eventually accepts you and sees things as they are and not they way they think things should be according the his/her picture of perfection that should be in a partner and relationship....
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I never change and don't expect the person to change for me or because of me.I am willing to compromise.And Im sooooo patient.There is something for sure - enigmatic magic of the understanding and the harmony is a must between me and him.
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a woman marries a man expecting him to change and he doesnt
a man marries a woman expecting her not to change and she does
a man marries a woman expecting her not to change and she does
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uk_man_31: a woman marries a man expecting him to change and he doesnt
a man marries a woman expecting her not to change and she does
a man marries a woman expecting her not to change and she does
Sadly very true
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In a relationship, I would fall under acceptance and respecting the other person’s perspective on how she bases her life. . I don’t believe in changing for anyone.
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If theres a mutual love we both should for the good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Serenity1971: The thread about wanting/expecting too much got me think, and I had done this thread a long time ago, but since it was archived I can't resurrect it so.....
When you're in a relationship with someone, do you change who you are in order to make the other person happy?
Do you find a way to compromise with the other person so that there's a give and take?
Do you expect the other person to change in order to fit your wants or needs?
When you're in a relationship with someone, do you change who you are in order to make the other person happy?
Do you find a way to compromise with the other person so that there's a give and take?
Do you expect the other person to change in order to fit your wants or needs?
Nope...I am all for compromise but never will change the core of who I am...that doesn't mean if I am wrong I won't admit it...It means I like the woman I have become and if the man I am with doesn't appreciate all of me then he can use the door!!!!!!!!!
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<---------Nah thats why she is single
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When you're in a relationship with someone, do you change who you are in order to make the other person happy?
Do you find a way to compromise with the other person so that there's a give and take?
Do you expect the other person to change in order to fit your wants or needs?
I think..No, I KNOW that you find a way to compromise. It's not fair to expect a person to change into exactly what you want them to be.
That's what is so wonderful about being an individual. There is NOBODY on this earth who is exactly like you. That's what attracts us to each other.
Do you really want to date, marry, or live the rest of your life with someone who is exactly like you? If you think about it just for a bit, I'm sure your answer would be no.
Even if you did want them to change, it's not going to happen anyway. People just get hurt if you try to go that way and it's not fun at all.
Like I say in my profile, I learned some lessons at a high price but at least I learned some lessons.