marriage ?? ( Archived) (178)

Jul 31, 2008 7:13 PM CST marriage ??
shipoker55
shipoker55shipoker55St. Petersburg, Florida USA211 Threads 2 Polls 9,362 Posts
oil reserves are in various locations around the US.




CjTenorSax: Oh, um I never knew that.

BTW, hi there.
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Jul 31, 2008 7:16 PM CST marriage ??
Claayer
ClaayerClaayerWild Wild South West, Cornwall, England UK107 Threads 9 Polls 15,888 Posts
loves2steppin: <<<<<<<< walks in....reads threads and after 28 LONG yrs of being unhappily married.....has no comment.....


haha comfort

But your not married now Whoop! buddies
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Jul 31, 2008 7:17 PM CST marriage ??
jlw45
jlw45jlw45Moyers, Oklahoma USA66 Threads 1 Polls 15,566 Posts
CjTenorSax: as usual...here i come with my two cents...LATE...when everyones already talking about something else... ..

Um actually, I think I'm the "LATE" one here, by the time I caught up on the thread, my responses made it look like I've been carrying a dialoge with myself.
....lol....thats what mine usually look like as well....laugh
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Jul 31, 2008 8:35 PM CST marriage ??
HJFinAZ
HJFinAZHJFinAZSun CIty, Arizona USA870 Threads 1 Polls 17,068 Posts
dillydally: sorry but i need some info on this subject

whats the difference with being married and just living with someone ?(apart from the obvious) all week iv seen the same thing "il never get married again"

is it that bad ?

what would you say to a first timer wanting to get married ?? (yeah that would be me)


If I am willing to live with some lady and reap the benefits of living together, I had damn well better be willing to be married to her...JMO
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Jul 31, 2008 8:46 PM CST marriage ??
Aries01
Aries01Aries01Kent, England UK47 Threads 4 Polls 2,732 Posts
diogenes: I once heard a relationship expert say that living with someone without being married could be detrimental tot he relationship for this reason...

When a couple is not married there is no sense of permanence, either party is free to leave at any time. If the couple lives together for a while, and then gets married, then they tend to carry that feeling of impermanence with them into their marriage.

Personally, I feel like courts should make a divorce more difficult to obtain, and sort of force couples to take a look at themselves and how to work on staying together. Broken familes make broken children, and broken children grow up to make broken families.


I agree 100%... living together is like playing house without the commitment... relationships... any relationships even family and friends requires commitment and work, having a situation whereby you can walk away without really trying to make it work, is a recipe for disaster, and is detrimental to any hope of future success... been there bought the t-shirt....

Any marriage that is worth its salt has survived conflict of some sort, some of the best marriages I know have survived all sorts of things including infidelity, financial struggle.. etc... these are the marriages that work.. why do people not want to make the effort any more.... when you marry someone, they become like a member of your family.. you become a new family... if I were to turn my back every time a member of my family have pissed me off over the years I dread to think.. unconditional love... thats what its all about.. none of us are a piece of cake when you think about it.. JMO smile
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Jul 31, 2008 8:56 PM CST marriage ??
kidatheart
kidatheartkidatheartFruitvale, British Columbia Canada30 Threads 16,544 Posts
Aries01: I agree 100%... living together is like playing house without the commitment... relationships... any relationships even family and friends requires commitment and work, having a situation whereby you can walk away without really trying to make it work, is a recipe for disaster, and is detrimental to any hope of future success... been there bought the t-shirt....

Any marriage that is worth its salt has survived conflict of some sort, some of the best marriages I know have survived all sorts of things including infidelity, financial struggle.. etc... these are the marriages that work.. why do people not want to make the effort any more.... when you marry someone, they become like a member of your family.. you become a new family... if I were to turn my back every time a member of my family have pissed me off over the years I dread to think.. unconditional love... thats what its all about.. none of us are a piece of cake when you think about it.. JMO



I think for a lot of people it just playing house, married or not.

No need for a piece of paper to say you're committed to one another. It should run deeper than something that really is too hard to even wipe your butt with.laugh



wave hug
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Jul 31, 2008 8:58 PM CST marriage ??
lusciousmile
lusciousmilelusciousmileThere, Aland Islands Finland25 Threads 2 Polls 11,989 Posts
Aries01: I agree 100%... living together is like playing house without the commitment... relationships... any relationships even family and friends requires commitment and work, having a situation whereby you can walk away without really trying to make it work, is a recipe for disaster, and is detrimental to any hope of future success... been there bought the t-shirt....

Any marriage that is worth its salt has survived conflict of some sort, some of the best marriages I know have survived all sorts of things including infidelity, financial struggle.. etc... these are the marriages that work.. why do people not want to make the effort any more.... when you marry someone, they become like a member of your family.. you become a new family... if I were to turn my back every time a member of my family have pissed me off over the years I dread to think.. unconditional love... thats what its all about.. none of us are a piece of cake when you think about it.. JMO


I don't know about you Europeans, but, i wish there were more divorces in Africa! There would be less deaths, caused by AIDS and less deprived orphans.

If a person cheats on you once, then i say, LEAVE, !!!!!!!!

frustrated
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Jul 31, 2008 9:32 PM CST marriage ??
Tater
TaterTaterspringfield, Illinois USA45 Threads 3 Polls 3,326 Posts
lusciousmile: Your profile says you have a child, yet, have never been married.



Hey hun, I didn't say I was a good enough person to live by it. I simply said what I beleive is right and wrong, and yes, I've done alot of wrong in my day, but it doesn't make it RIGHT cheers
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Jul 31, 2008 9:44 PM CST marriage ??
Aries01
Aries01Aries01Kent, England UK47 Threads 4 Polls 2,732 Posts
Well I agree with you there Kid... people have to go INTO marriage in the first place with a sincere and genuine intention to commit in the real sense.. its not a game.. well not to me anyway... If I ever do get married.. which tbh probably not... it will ONLY be with someone that I genuinely want to spend the rest of my life with.. now I know I can't tell the future etc.. but the intention will definitely have to be there... as to living with someone first.. no way.. unfortunately.. been there bought the t-shirt..

hug
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Jul 31, 2008 9:44 PM CST marriage ??
lusciousmile
lusciousmilelusciousmileThere, Aland Islands Finland25 Threads 2 Polls 11,989 Posts
Tater: Hey hun, I didn't say I was a good enough person to live by it. I simply said what I beleive is right and wrong, and yes, I've done alot of wrong in my day, but it doesn't make it RIGHT



cheers
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Jul 31, 2008 9:46 PM CST marriage ??
Aries01
Aries01Aries01Kent, England UK47 Threads 4 Polls 2,732 Posts
Tater: Hey hun, I didn't say I was a good enough person to live by it. I simply said what I beleive is right and wrong, and yes, I've done alot of wrong in my day, but it doesn't make it RIGHT


I'm sure ur kid is a lil angel... nothing wrong about that hug
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Jul 31, 2008 9:48 PM CST marriage ??
kidatheart
kidatheartkidatheartFruitvale, British Columbia Canada30 Threads 16,544 Posts
Aries01: Well I agree with you there Kid... people have to go INTO marriage in the first place with a sincere and genuine intention to commit in the real sense.. its not a game.. well not to me anyway... If I ever do get married.. which tbh probably not... it will ONLY be with someone that I genuinely want to spend the rest of my life with.. now I know I can't tell the future etc.. but the intention will definitely have to be there... as to living with someone first.. no way.. unfortunately.. been there bought the t-shirt..



Yeah, I wouldn't live with someone unless I thought they were going to be there forever either, but that still doesn't mean I'll get married to do it.tongue

hug
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Jul 31, 2008 9:50 PM CST marriage ??
Aries01
Aries01Aries01Kent, England UK47 Threads 4 Polls 2,732 Posts
kidatheart: Yeah, I wouldn't live with someone unless I thought they were going to be there forever either, but that still doesn't mean I'll get married to do it.


We are just gonna have to agree to disagree on this one sweetie... gotta hit the hay... nearly 4am here... nite, nite hug
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Jul 31, 2008 9:55 PM CST marriage ??
kidatheart
kidatheartkidatheartFruitvale, British Columbia Canada30 Threads 16,544 Posts
Aries01: We are just gonna have to agree to disagree on this one sweetie... gotta hit the hay... nearly 4am here... nite, nite



Good night Orlahug kiss
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Jul 31, 2008 11:11 PM CST marriage ??
riyablossom
riyablossomriyablossomsomewhere, Pennsylvania USA184 Threads 18 Polls 11,244 Posts
CjTenorSax: Well said, Riya


Thanku .. wave
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Jul 31, 2008 11:48 PM CST marriage ??
irishlass45
irishlass45irishlass45Texas USA, Texas USA52 Threads 5 Polls 4,579 Posts
kidatheart: All of that can be had without being married, no difference. It's about the commitment, not the act of marriage.
It's just as easy to walk away or give up either way, if that's what you're inclination is.

I'm not totally opposed to the idea, just not the way most people view marriage. The commitment has to be there beforehand and in the end it's just a piece of paper to me.


ok, i just looked cowboy at your profile, it states you are spritual but not religious, when you stand before God and make a vow that is your incentive to not just easily walk away, a piece of paper only? not in my opinion, it is a vow that goes deeper than just to each other, after all we are mere humans and are apt to walk away but with the vow you have made to God, you will more likely than not think twice about it, jmo.tR
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Jul 31, 2008 11:56 PM CST marriage ??
kidatheart
kidatheartkidatheartFruitvale, British Columbia Canada30 Threads 16,544 Posts
irishlass45: ok, i just looked cowboy at your profile, it states you are spritual but not religious, when you stand before God and make a vow that is your incentive to not just easily walk away, a piece of paper only? not in my opinion, it is a vow that goes deeper than just to each other, after all we are mere humans and are apt to walk away but with the vow you have made to God, you will more likely than not think twice about it, jmo.tR



Hi Rwave

With all due respect, I would never get married in a church if I ever did anyway. I don't believe in any of that. The only commitment or vow I'd be making is to my significant other, nobody or anything else.

Not enough choices in selecting your beliefs. That was the closest I could fine. If they had other, I'd pick that. I'll look just in case something's changed.



hug
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Aug 1, 2008 12:02 AM CST marriage ??
alabamabebe
alabamabebealabamabebeBanks of the Warrior River, Alabama USA66 Threads 3 Polls 4,404 Posts
In response to:
what would you say to a first timer wanting to get married ?? (yeah that would be me)


DON'T!!!!!!

Kidding. Seriously,do not get married if you're not sure you want to be. The fact that you're on here asking advice tells me you have some reservations. Work those out for youself, and be sure that you really want to make the commitment for the rest of your life. Relationships don't always work even when you have that, but they're highly unlikely to if you go into it thinking it might not be right.

The piece of paper really means little, it's the willingness to share your whole life and all of yourself with someone that it symbolizes that is important.

dunno But what do I know, I haven't gotten it right yet? confused giggle
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