True to oneself/self sabotage (69)
BnaturAl: I steer well clear of people with that "accept me as I am" banner, or "I wont change for anyone" It's a definite sign there will be no compromise or negotiation with them, bad communication skills.
Everyone wants to be loved, but unconditional love is dream, insisting on it is a nightmare for relationships.
Everyone wants to be loved, but unconditional love is dream, insisting on it is a nightmare for relationships.
Morning PA....
Not changing who I am doesn't mean I am not willing to compromise...in fact I am all about compromise especially in a relationship because it's a 2 way street and no two people are ever going to feel the same about things...what it does mean is not changing the very essence of who I am to suit someone elses needs or beliefs or compromising my own values....I won't all of a sudden think that drugs or beating women and children is ok...just because someone else does....and I won't compromise on those things either!!!!!!!!
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Hugz_n_Kissez: Morning PA.... Not changing who I am doesn't mean I am not willing to compromise...in fact I am all about compromise especially in a relationship because it's a 2 way street and no two people are ever going to feel the same about things...what it does mean is not changing the very essence of who I am to suit someone elses needs or beliefs or compromising my own values....I won't all of a sudden think that drugs or beating women and children is ok...just because someone else does....and I won't compromise on those things either!!!!!!!!
I think many of us agree but were using different words to express it ... 
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FlowerOfTheSun: I think many of us agree but were using different words to express it ...
Yeah...same difference....
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FlowerOfTheSun: hahaha! Basically we agree!!!!! We were just using different words!!! Although I don't see them as sacrifices ...
Sacrifice only for lack of a better word!
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FlowerOfTheSun: I think many of us agree but were using different words to express it ...
not me
... I'm using your words, just reordering them to look like a 
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BnaturAl: not me ... I'm using your words, just reordering them to look like a
Just as long as it has black olives and loads a cheese!!
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FlowerOfTheSun: That doesn't just apply to the some of female gender ... there are plenty of men "fixer-uppers" on the loose, believe me!!! Only you would be more aware of the female fixer-uppers and women would be more aware of the male fixer-uppers!!
I wouldn't deny that, ma'am.
I only speak of what I know. Otherwise, its empty conjecture on my part...
The main point I'm making is: Be careful what you wish for...you just might get it!
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Nice discussion.
Here's where I'm at so far...
Totally infexibilty is a bad thing, we are by design dynamic beings, being static is probably in and of itself unhealthy
in addition to being counterproductive to relationship building.
Core issues, the things that make us who we are, components of our character. These things are not to be tampered with for the comfort of others,
if someone shows us a flaw with our character we may choose to work on it for our own sake, but doing so to please others is just bad mojo.
Non character defining issues(checking out the waitress, swearing, table manners), these may be looked at and modified as needed,
provided it is a change we will be ok with, and if being done for a specific individual care should be taken that they generally enjoy our company,
lest we become some nearly unrecognizable caricature of our former self.
Here's where I'm at so far...
Totally infexibilty is a bad thing, we are by design dynamic beings, being static is probably in and of itself unhealthy
in addition to being counterproductive to relationship building.
Core issues, the things that make us who we are, components of our character. These things are not to be tampered with for the comfort of others,
if someone shows us a flaw with our character we may choose to work on it for our own sake, but doing so to please others is just bad mojo.
Non character defining issues(checking out the waitress, swearing, table manners), these may be looked at and modified as needed,
provided it is a change we will be ok with, and if being done for a specific individual care should be taken that they generally enjoy our company,
lest we become some nearly unrecognizable caricature of our former self.
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I also believe that if someone matters to you that you both should be able to modify certain behaviours if you know it makes the other person happier in your relationship.
If a neat freak and a slob get together... a little compromise on both sides could be quite healthy. I find it to be a very loving act within a relationship to make little sacrifices for each other... I don´t particularly like watching sports, my love would love me to go to a game with him, why wouldn´t I, and graciously taking pleasure in the fact that he enjoys it... isn´t that what love is about?
No amount of love will change me into a republican, or make me think that I should become religious, things like this go deeper into who we are, not just how we behave.
hahaha! Basically we agree!!!!! We were just using different words!!!