How do you know? (12)
No.
They have not ripped your heart out, they have not what you need.
I think you may be reading a little much into it.
I think you just know when it is safe.
They have not ripped your heart out, they have not what you need.
I think you may be reading a little much into it.
I think you just know when it is safe.
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Americanproud: I have let my guard down a couple of times when talking with people on line. I am always a bit wary but I got comfortable talking with a couple gentlemen. I use the word gentlemen very loosely I might add.
It always seems when I finally unshielded my heart to let someone have a chance to maybe fit. They seem to take great pleasure in ripping it out of my body and stomping on it. I don't blame them as much as I blame myself for being foolish in letting them in.
So I ask. How do you know it is safe to feel again? To trust and possibly love? Are we destined to be alone for ever just because we failed at love the first time around?
It always seems when I finally unshielded my heart to let someone have a chance to maybe fit. They seem to take great pleasure in ripping it out of my body and stomping on it. I don't blame them as much as I blame myself for being foolish in letting them in.
So I ask. How do you know it is safe to feel again? To trust and possibly love? Are we destined to be alone for ever just because we failed at love the first time around?
maybe your expectations create your future?
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Americanproud: I have let my guard down a couple of times when talking with people on line. I am always a bit wary but I got comfortable talking with a couple gentlemen. I use the word gentlemen very loosely I might add.
It always seems when I finally unshielded my heart to let someone have a chance to maybe fit. They seem to take great pleasure in ripping it out of my body and stomping on it. I don't blame them as much as I blame myself for being foolish in letting them in.
So I ask. How do you know it is safe to feel again? To trust and possibly love? Are we destined to be alone for ever just because we failed at love the first time around?
It always seems when I finally unshielded my heart to let someone have a chance to maybe fit. They seem to take great pleasure in ripping it out of my body and stomping on it. I don't blame them as much as I blame myself for being foolish in letting them in.
So I ask. How do you know it is safe to feel again? To trust and possibly love? Are we destined to be alone for ever just because we failed at love the first time around?
I don't think there is a set time limit...I think only the individual knows the right amount of time they need to heal....I know for me it takes awhile depending on the length of the previous relationship...but I will also say that I don't completely open myself up to someone right away...it takes a long time for me and only if I know I can trust the person.....taking my time seems to work best for me although certainly nothing it guaranteed but...I won't rush into something...that much I know!!!!!!!!
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Thank you for your response. I know they haven't truly ripped it out. I took me 5 years to even open up. I suppose I should say they bruised it. The feeling is the same. I not negative by nature but have a very hard time with this one. I am tired of the battered bruised feelings. Where are all the real men? The gentlemen?
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Americanproud: Thank you for your response. I know they haven't truly ripped it out. I took me 5 years to even open up. I suppose I should say they bruised it. The feeling is the same. I not negative by nature but have a very hard time with this one. I am tired of the battered bruised feelings. Where are all the real men? The gentlemen?
Oh they are here, go and look in the men's appreciation thread earlier today.
We have lovely men here in the forums.
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Americanproud: Thank you for your response. I know they haven't truly ripped it out. I took me 5 years to even open up. I suppose I should say they bruised it. The feeling is the same. I not negative by nature but have a very hard time with this one. I am tired of the battered bruised feelings. Where are all the real men? The gentlemen?
I suppose if any of us could answer that question...we wouldn't be here....
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Americanproud: I have let my guard down a couple of times when talking with people on line. I am always a bit wary but I got comfortable talking with a couple gentlemen. I use the word gentlemen very loosely I might add.
It always seems when I finally unshielded my heart to let someone have a chance to maybe fit. They seem to take great pleasure in ripping it out of my body and stomping on it. I don't blame them as much as I blame myself for being foolish in letting them in.
So I ask. How do you know it is safe to feel again? To trust and possibly love? Are we destined to be alone for ever just because we failed at love the first time around?
It always seems when I finally unshielded my heart to let someone have a chance to maybe fit. They seem to take great pleasure in ripping it out of my body and stomping on it. I don't blame them as much as I blame myself for being foolish in letting them in.
So I ask. How do you know it is safe to feel again? To trust and possibly love? Are we destined to be alone for ever just because we failed at love the first time around?
Don't blame yourself for the way the slugs in your life have treated you. That is their problem.
What you need to do is be more selective....if you continue to pick similar guys, you are bound to get hurt again. Shake things up and try something new.
Good luck to you...
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Americanproud: I have let my guard down a couple of times when talking with people on line. I am always a bit wary but I got comfortable talking with a couple gentlemen. I use the word gentlemen very loosely I might add.
It always seems when I finally unshielded my heart to let someone have a chance to maybe fit. They seem to take great pleasure in ripping it out of my body and stomping on it. I don't blame them as much as I blame myself for being foolish in letting them in.
So I ask. How do you know it is safe to feel again? To trust and possibly love? Are we destined to be alone for ever just because we failed at love the first time around?
It always seems when I finally unshielded my heart to let someone have a chance to maybe fit. They seem to take great pleasure in ripping it out of my body and stomping on it. I don't blame them as much as I blame myself for being foolish in letting them in.
So I ask. How do you know it is safe to feel again? To trust and possibly love? Are we destined to be alone for ever just because we failed at love the first time around?
My own opinion, and I know many people here disagree, is that meeting somebody here or any other dating site is not to be treated too seriously until you have that actual face to face meeting. I don't believe it's possible to fall in love with somebody behind a computer screen or telephone line.
It's worked for me, I've never been hurt or let down since joining CS, and after the four or five dates I've had after virtual communication, I knew immediately that nothing was going to come of them, but I wasn't hurt because I never had overly high expectations.
Maybe it's because I'm happy with my life, and although it would be nice, the overriding priority for me is not to meet a significant other.
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I joined this site to make friends. I feel comfortable here. The guy that I was referring to was from a different site. I am very happy that our planned face to face fell through. After our last conversation, I am convinced he was borderline dangerous if not over. I posted this thread to see, because I feel comfortable here, what everyone here feels on this. I really want to thank all of you who responded and I look forward to getting to know all of you better. 
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Trust your instincts. That's all. You won't be right 100% of the time...but you won't always be wrong either
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Americanproud: I joined this site to make friends. I feel comfortable here. The guy that I was referring to was from a different site. I am very happy that our planned face to face fell through. After our last conversation, I am convinced he was borderline dangerous if not over. I posted this thread to see, because I feel comfortable here, what everyone here feels on this. I really want to thank all of you who responded and I look forward to getting to know all of you better.
I would consider that a blessing that you didn't meet if you consider him dangerous darlin....sometimes things happen that end up saving us from ourselves regardless whether we see it at the time or not....
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Created: Aug 2008
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It always seems when I finally unshielded my heart to let someone have a chance to maybe fit. They seem to take great pleasure in ripping it out of my body and stomping on it. I don't blame them as much as I blame myself for being foolish in letting them in.
So I ask. How do you know it is safe to feel again? To trust and possibly love? Are we destined to be alone for ever just because we failed at love the first time around?