...Birds of a feather flock together and crap on your car.
When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor's dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself.
A penny saved is a government oversight.
The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.
The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
He who hesitates is probably right.
Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are 'XL.'
If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.
If you can smile when things go wrong , you have someone in mind to blame.
The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.
There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt .
Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words 'The' and 'IRS' together it spells 'Theirs.'
Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.
The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know why I look this way; I've traveled a long way and a lot of the roads weren't paved.
When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.
You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.
One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young.
Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Then you forget to pull up your zipper. It's worse when you forget to pull it down.
Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf .
Lord, Keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth, AMEN.
mbcasey: I can relate to most of these Don...but I was good at algebra!!!
Thanks for the laughs....
I'm envious Ken! I could barely even spell algebra - and I was good with English lit. and contest public speaking!
BTW, good to see you back! You're one of those special few whose friendship and input I truly value! Some day I hope to have the chance to buy you a cup of your beverage of choice and converse awhile, eyeball to eyeball.
mbcaseyNorth Myrtle Beach, South Carolina USA16,449 posts
The_Kansan: I'm envious Ken! I could barely even spell algebra - and I was good with English lit. and contest public speaking!
BTW, good to see you back! You're one of those special few whose friendship and input I truly value! Some day I hope to have the chance to buy you a cup of your beverage of choice and converse awhile, eyeball to eyeball.
What a nice thing to say...thank you. I think very highly of you and Jackie, and I do hope we can meet up some day!! You guys are the best!!!
dillydally: The facts, although interesting, are irrelevant.
Indeed, as is the vast majority of the fluff on these forums. (That's one of the reasons I come here - life get's way too flat if not "fluffed" a bit from time to time!)
The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.
This one is sooooooo true and I think the only reason my daughter hates her full name and will only let me call her her short name Alex instead of Alexandra!!!!!!!!!
When she was in trouble I used Alexandra but she has been Alex since birth...then her middle name and if I got to her last name she knew she was in trouble big time!!!!!
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When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor's dog
run to the end of his chain and gag himself.
A penny saved is a government oversight.
The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the
right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting
moment.
The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then
your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a
replacement.
He who hesitates is probably right.
Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are 'XL.'
If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.
If you can smile when things go wrong , you have someone in mind to
blame.
The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's
really in trouble.
There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it.
For example I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles
don't hurt .
Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words 'The' and 'IRS' together
it spells 'Theirs.'
Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your
age and start bragging about it.
The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know why I look this way; I've traveled a long way and a lot of the roads weren't paved.
When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of
Algebra.
You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.
One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a
nice change from being young.
Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Then you forget to pull
up your zipper. It's worse when you forget to pull it down.
Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf .
Lord, Keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth,
AMEN.