i still don't forgive my dad for the way he used to beat me , i don't care what anybody " says " ( Archived) (86)

Sep 5, 2008 4:07 PM CST i still don't forgive my dad for the way he used to beat me , i don't care what anybody " says "
gillyloves69
gillyloves69gillyloves69london, Greater London, England UK1,533 Threads 7 Polls 7,359 Posts
victorian values or no victorian values !
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Sep 5, 2008 4:10 PM CST i still don't forgive my dad for the way he used to beat me , i don't care what anybody " says "
trish123
trish123trish123Macclesfield, Cheshire, England UK177 Threads 4 Polls 13,724 Posts
gillyloves69: victorian values or no victorian values !



Let it go Gilly sweetie - hanging on to stuff that hurt us long since is at best, counterproductive and at worst - soul destroying - dont let em have that power over you my love hug teddybear bouquet hug
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Sep 5, 2008 4:15 PM CST i still don't forgive my dad for the way he used to beat me , i don't care what anybody " says "
arabella
arabellaarabellaNear Farmington, Maine USA98 Threads 1 Polls 6,199 Posts
gillyloves69: victorian values or no victorian values !


You can choose your friends, but you can't choose your relatives (i.e. parents).

All you can do is realize this and move on to be what you want to be.
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Sep 5, 2008 4:15 PM CST i still don't forgive my dad for the way he used to beat me , i don't care what anybody " says "
gillyloves69
gillyloves69gillyloves69london, Greater London, England UK1,533 Threads 7 Polls 7,359 Posts
trish123: Let it go Gilly sweetie - hanging on to stuff that hurt us long since is at best, counterproductive and at worst - soul destroying - dont let em have that power over you my love



scold

nope ! sorry but you're out of order trish !


thumbs down
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Sep 5, 2008 4:21 PM CST i still don't forgive my dad for the way he used to beat me , i don't care what anybody " says "
kissmedeeply
kissmedeeplykissmedeeplyPetitcodiac, New Brunswick Canada70 Threads 15,139 Posts
Well Gilly you dont have to Forgive if you dont want to...

It dont matter what anyone says..

Its About YOU...

And i am sure alot is in the same Boat as you...

But do you want to carry this to ur grave...???

be bitter for the rest of ur life???

Just asking some questions...

But then again its what you want to do and chose to do...

If it was me..

Really i cannot say what i could/would do...

Maybe i would forgive but not Forget...
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Sep 5, 2008 4:31 PM CST i still don't forgive my dad for the way he used to beat me , i don't care what anybody " says "
Hugz_n_Kissez
Hugz_n_KissezHugz_n_KissezSomeplace, Ontario Canada59 Threads 2 Polls 25,438 Posts
gillyloves69: victorian values or no victorian values !



Gill...when we forgive...we forgive for us...not the other person...it doesn't condone the actions of the other person nor does it mean we have to have to have them in our lives...what it does is allows us to release the emotional control they have over us...you don't even have to tell the other person if you don't want to...but it heals you from carrying around all the pain...anger and resentments that have been apart of you and your life for so long and be at peace with yourself....hug teddybear hug bouquet
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Sep 5, 2008 4:31 PM CST i still don't forgive my dad for the way he used to beat me , i don't care what anybody " says "
shipoker58
shipoker58shipoker58Las Vegas, Nevada USA30 Threads 2,969 Posts
well Gilly...For once, we agree. But he did soooo much more than just beat me. But at least we have some common ground. I will never forgive that animal...he wasn't a man. My user name is a reflection of the derrogatory name he used to call me to insult me. But everytime I see the word Shipoker, I'm reminded anew to continue to hate him
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Sep 5, 2008 4:38 PM CST i still don't forgive my dad for the way he used to beat me , i don't care what anybody " says "
gillyloves69: victorian values or no victorian values !


I am sorry Gilly and Ship in an empathetic way for the pain that you have both suffered is evident in what you have both written. Forgiveness as a wise pastor once told me is an act of the will not an emotion. I hope that over time both of you can forgive those men the pain and suffering they have put you through.
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Sep 5, 2008 4:40 PM CST i still don't forgive my dad for the way he used to beat me , i don't care what anybody " says "
LACali
LACaliLACaliSouthern California, California USA3 Threads 936 Posts
gillyloves69: victorian values or no victorian values !


I'm sorry that happened to you. The way to win is to break the cycle with your own children. Be a better person than he could ever dream of being. I can see by your posts that you care about people and society so I think you've won.comfort
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Sep 5, 2008 4:42 PM CST i still don't forgive my dad for the way he used to beat me , i don't care what anybody " says "
shipoker58
shipoker58shipoker58Las Vegas, Nevada USA30 Threads 2,969 Posts
Dawn7z: I am sorry Gilly and Ship in an empathetic way for the pain that you have both suffered is evident in what you have both written. Forgiveness as a wise pastor once told me is an act of the will not an emotion. I hope that over time both of you can forgive those men the pain and suffering they have put you through.







That will never happen...I would rather burn in Hell. At least there I can face him eye to eye....man to man!!!!!!!
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Sep 5, 2008 4:45 PM CST i still don't forgive my dad for the way he used to beat me , i don't care what anybody " says "
shipoker58: That will never happen...I would rather burn in Hell. At least there I can face him eye to eye....man to man!!!!!!!


I am sorry that you have had that experience. My dad was not the best, but I really don't know what you or Gilly have gone through. I just felt a lot of sadness reading both of your comments.
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Sep 5, 2008 4:48 PM CST i still don't forgive my dad for the way he used to beat me , i don't care what anybody " says "
kissmedeeply
kissmedeeplykissmedeeplyPetitcodiac, New Brunswick Canada70 Threads 15,139 Posts
Its easy for all of us to say forgive..

If this happen to me..No way..hoesay..

Nope never..I do not think so...

There is no right nor explanation for what has happen to them...

I have never been in that situation..so who am i to say forgive and forget...
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Sep 5, 2008 4:49 PM CST i still don't forgive my dad for the way he used to beat me , i don't care what anybody " says "
Indyfella
IndyfellaIndyfellaindianapolis, Indiana USA152 Threads 8 Polls 18,150 Posts
So that's what happened?
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Sep 5, 2008 4:50 PM CST i still don't forgive my dad for the way he used to beat me , i don't care what anybody " says "
It's not easy to forgive people who were supposed to protect you and raise you lovingly. It is damn hard but it's possible.
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Sep 5, 2008 4:53 PM CST i still don't forgive my dad for the way he used to beat me , i don't care what anybody " says "
gillyloves69: victorian values or no victorian values !
Gillie,you're not just doing that for him,you have to do that for your Own Freedom and Peace of Mind!
I know how you feel!conversing handshake wave
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Sep 5, 2008 4:54 PM CST i still don't forgive my dad for the way he used to beat me , i don't care what anybody " says "
Forgiveness is for your peace of mind not theirs. JMO
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Sep 5, 2008 5:20 PM CST i still don't forgive my dad for the way he used to beat me , i don't care what anybody " says "
PILIPALA
PILIPALAPILIPALACardiff, South Glamorgan, Wales UK200 Threads 4,804 Posts
People have their own ways of coping with the pain. If anger serves to easy that pain use it i say how the hell can you forgive someone who should have loved and protected you and why the hell should you
hug
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Sep 5, 2008 5:24 PM CST i still don't forgive my dad for the way he used to beat me , i don't care what anybody " says "
Claayer
ClaayerClaayerWild Wild South West, Cornwall, England UK107 Threads 9 Polls 15,888 Posts
PILIPALA: People have their own ways of coping with the pain. If anger serves to easy that pain use it i say how the hell can you forgive someone who should have loved and protected you and why the hell should you


I agree..

I know that forgiveness IS the key with most pain..

But sometimes I just cant see HOW that is possible.


wave hug
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Sep 5, 2008 5:26 PM CST i still don't forgive my dad for the way he used to beat me , i don't care what anybody " says "
Claayer
ClaayerClaayerWild Wild South West, Cornwall, England UK107 Threads 9 Polls 15,888 Posts
gillyloves69: nope ! sorry but you're out of order trish !


Noo Gilly.. she's not out of order.. really and truly that IS the way forward with the emotional pain and baggage we may hold on it. She is right.

But I do completely understand why you don't want to forgive... maybe one day you will.. maybe you wont.

and I have to say... for me.. I probably wouldn't either.

Parents are MEANT to protect us.. and certainly not BE the ones to cause us harm and hurt.

teddybear
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Sep 5, 2008 5:28 PM CST i still don't forgive my dad for the way he used to beat me , i don't care what anybody " says "
Claayer
ClaayerClaayerWild Wild South West, Cornwall, England UK107 Threads 9 Polls 15,888 Posts
shipoker58: well Gilly...For once, we agree. But he did soooo much more than just beat me. But at least we have some common ground. I will never forgive that animal...he wasn't a man. My user name is a reflection of the derrogatory name he used to call me to insult me. But everytime I see the word Shipoker, I'm reminded anew to continue to hate him



::faints:::




laugh
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