i still don't forgive my dad for the way he used to beat me , i don't care what anybody " says " ( Archived) (86)

yeah.. but as I said.. Everyone is different... and everyones experiences and lives are different.

They may often have similarities.. but they are NEVER the same.

(yeah I pasted that.. I couldnt be bothered to retype it)..

Your fathers feelings and actions are not yours to own...they're his...the only ones you're responsible for are your own!!!!!!!!!

Hatred is a wasted emotion. The person that you hate neither knows nor cares that you hate them. The only person that is hurt by hatred, is yourself.

Forgiveness is not saying it's o.k what somebody did to you......Forgivenes is saying,''It's OVER.''

Yes you are sooo right it is over.
I figured this out pretty quick, after I left my ex.
I realized while I felt hurt ect. that one day I thought you know you dumb dumb, while your think about him this way, he may be out dancing just having a gay old time.
It changed me.
Yes I accepted that it was over.

You were probably a bad boy and maybe deserved it! He should give you another whack for the name you chose, Gillyloves69. bad boy!! Sometimes a little Victorian is a good thing!

To be beaten by your father is terrible thing. The beating is not the worst part. It is the love and self worth that is in doubt that tears at a person. You don't have to forgive.....he earned every bit of what you feel. He worked hard for it and never understood the wrongness of it and never asked forgiveness. One thing you need to understand is that HE had a problem that HE could not deal with. This problem was handled by a man who used you to control HIS problem for himself. He was wrong....have pity on him. You don't have to forgive for him....but try to forget and focus on pity for a weak man.....do this for yourself.

If a dog is in pain and you go to it. If the dog bites you because you touched it.....it was the pain that caused the bite and not the dog. it was dealing with its pain as best as it was able. It does not make it right...but understandable. If we focus on dealing with our own pain and not biting those around us....we do ourselves a great service and do not pass the pain on to another.

To forgive...no! Forget and deal with your pain better than he did. Be a better man... a stronger man. Get the selfworth from inside you and the love you should have had from those to come into your life. Don't be a product of your past...be the product of the future that you make.

Is he still Alive??,,,I will read more ,,maybe someone already asked.
;-}

Fantastic advice