A clue? (49)
irishlass45Texas USA, Texas USA52 Threads 5 Polls 4,579 PostsBeen loyal to this Englishman since november, it is going very good, really good, with one exception. That being is this: very odd here now ok? would you expect any different from me? I think not. I came here in April and now I am back in August second visit he even went to Ireland with me in May, we get along very well, we respect each other, and I honestly do believe he loves me, he showers me like I am gold with all things in life, the problem is this, I want my man to be in love with me, he says it has been twenty five years since he was "IN LOVE" that if I were to go back to that place(where he fell in love years ago) maybe he would be "IN LOVE" with me, he calls it childish and says I am never going to be satisfied.......................am I being selfish to want it all? I love my family and my friends but I am not in love with them, there is a difference, and sadly this is going to hold me back I am afraid, I want it all, I want to be loved and I want my man to be IN LOVE with me, am I wrong? we could be good, very good companions in life, this I know but....................the one factor is missing out of my formula and that means a lot. He has even went so far as to let it slip he is in love with my character and that is what he fell for to start with,,,,am confused, am I being childish wanting this? or should I settle? I don't think I can to be honest. Nice replies are welcomed otherwise don't comment please.
------ This thread is Archived ------
You are not being childish.
hearing "I love you" is a beautiful affirmation of your love, and I think it is selfish of him not to understand that.
His past problems with love should not be foisted on you.
hearing "I love you" is a beautiful affirmation of your love, and I think it is selfish of him not to understand that.
His past problems with love should not be foisted on you.
------ This thread is Archived ------
irishlass45: Been loyal to this Englishman since november, it is going very good, really good, with one exception. That being is this: very odd here now ok? would you expect any different from me? I think not. I came here in April and now I am back in August second visit he even went to Ireland with me in May, we get along very well, we respect each other, and I honestly do believe he loves me, he showers me like I am gold with all things in life, the problem is this, I want my man to be in love with me, he says it has been twenty five years since he was "IN LOVE" that if I were to go back to that place(where he fell in love years ago) maybe he would be "IN LOVE" with me, he calls it childish and says I am never going to be satisfied.......................am I being selfish to want it all? I love my family and my friends but I am not in love with them, there is a difference, and sadly this is going to hold me back I am afraid, I want it all, I want to be loved and I want my man to be IN LOVE with me, am I wrong? we could be good, very good companions in life, this I know but....................the one factor is missing out of my formula and that means a lot. He has even went so far as to let it slip he is in love with my character and that is what he fell for to start with,,,,am confused, am I being childish wanting this? or should I settle? I don't think I can to be honest. Nice replies are welcomed otherwise don't comment please.
i would want some to be in love with me too and tell me - so i agree with you - and girl if you not entirely happy, then never settle - but give him some time - some people need that
good luck
------ This thread is Archived ------
mbcasey: You are not being childish.
hearing "I love you" is a beautiful affirmation of your love, and I think it is selfish of him not to understand that.
His past problems with love should not be foisted on you.
hearing "I love you" is a beautiful affirmation of your love, and I think it is selfish of him not to understand that.
His past problems with love should not be foisted on you.
Thank you Ken, but being IN LOVE and loving someone are two different things, although they walk hand and hand I want that other the BEING IN LOVE thang you know? the one where it freaking buckles the knees when you see him/her,damn is that too much to ask for?
------ This thread is Archived ------
what would strike me odd is another wanting me to go back to the place they fell in love, to be able to fall in love with me.....what would that person be falling in love with?
------ This thread is Archived ------
irishlass45: Thank you Ken, but being IN LOVE and loving someone are two different things, although they walk hand and hand I want that other the BEING IN LOVE thang you know? the one where it freaking buckles the knees when you see him/her,damn is that too much to ask for?
It's not too much to ask for. Think you already know the answer sweetie.
------ This thread is Archived ------
It may take some time, I know that you have been together for a while, but maybe longer.
I would not give the relationship up just yet. One of these days he say
wtf I am in love!
you never know, but don't you think that you need to give it a chance?
I would not give the relationship up just yet. One of these days he say
wtf I am in love!you never know, but don't you think that you need to give it a chance?
------ This thread is Archived ------
irishlass45: yea he is fifty this last month, and has not had a serious relationship in years and yes I am serious so you can see where I have my doubt of leaving the realationship, maybe things will change but time is OF an essance with me. Thanks for your input, I am confused on this as November is when I decide weather to move on or not. Thanks again for your time.
Some people that have been hurt, are reluctant to trust, or fall in love.
------ This thread is Archived ------
irishlass45: yea he is fifty this last month, and has not had a serious relationship in years and yes I am serious so you can see where I have my doubt of leaving the realationship, maybe things will change but time is OF an essance with me. Thanks for your input, I am confused on this as November is when I decide weather to move on or not. Thanks again for your time.
I think that having him attendant on you and good to you is scaring you. You appear to be nit-picking details now because you maybe fear total commitment. Many people do this, including me.
First time a man gets close I pick a fight with him to put him off, even though that is not what I am sometimes telling myself.........
I am not saying this to be negative but to have you take a close look at your motives when throwing away someone and something that is as good as you say this is.
Fear will have us lonely and full of regrets for a lifetime, and it comes in many guises.
------ This thread is Archived ------
irishlass45: Been loyal to this Englishman since november, it is going very good, really good, with one exception. That being is this: very odd here now ok? would you expect any different from me? I think not. I came here in April and now I am back in August second visit he even went to Ireland with me in May, we get along very well, we respect each other, and I honestly do believe he loves me, he showers me like I am gold with all things in life, the problem is this, I want my man to be in love with me, he says it has been twenty five years since he was "IN LOVE" that if I were to go back to that place(where he fell in love years ago) maybe he would be "IN LOVE" with me, he calls it childish and says I am never going to be satisfied.......................am I being selfish to want it all? I love my family and my friends but I am not in love with them, there is a difference, and sadly this is going to hold me back I am afraid, I want it all, I want to be loved and I want my man to be IN LOVE with me, am I wrong? we could be good, very good companions in life, this I know but....................the one factor is missing out of my formula and that means a lot. He has even went so far as to let it slip he is in love with my character and that is what he fell for to start with,,,,am confused, am I being childish wanting this? or should I settle? I don't think I can to be honest. Nice replies are welcomed otherwise don't comment please.
Darlin...if there are no fireworks for him and he can't say he is totally and unequivocally in love with you...then yes I would say that is settling...as you said...do want a companion or do you want a partner who loves you...all parts of you....not some character he put together in his mind????
I don't get the going back to the place he fell in love part either...I mean helloooooooo there are 2 people in this relationship here not just him....and I would be damned if I would go near anyplace that he fell in love with someone else...I mean even to suggest that,...I think I woulda been packing up my bags and outta there...cause that's a total insult....He shouldn't have to try to do anything...it's either there for him...in all aspects including being in love with you OR it's not!!!!!
------ This thread is Archived ------
jlw45: what would strike me odd is another wanting me to go back to the place they fell in love, to be able to fall in love with me.....what would that person be falling in love with?
If, you mean by the wording here, To go back to the place were THEY[/b] fell in love, I would say he still has not accepted the fact that relationship is over.
You are not being silly. You are voicing valid concerns, as would I. My parents always told us you needed both: to Love the other person and to BE IN Love WITH the other person and I suscribe to this myself.
For him to say he needs you to go back to this place to be able to fall in love with you, tells me he is in a state where he is either trying to 'Transfer' his feelings. or 'Substitute' you for the other person. He is also trying to continue a past relationship with another.
I know people who have done this and they are unhappy. I only know of one couple who is happy having done the transfergence thing. I don't know how they manage to be happy. I could not.
I think a relationship should be unique, special and allowed to develope in its own way not to serve as a replacement for a old relationship.
Tread very carefully. You have these misgivings for a very good reason. Listen to your inner voice. Best of luck to you.
------ This thread is Archived ------
jlw45: what would strike me odd is another wanting me to go back to the place they fell in love, to be able to fall in love with me.....what would that person be falling in love with?
don't think I have not thought of this joel, this is the odd part for me, but he treats me like gold, flew me here and has bought everything and made everything so perfect...............................damn, i am scared.
------ This thread is Archived ------
KrazieStill: It's not too much to ask for. Think you already know the answer sweetie.
Dammit Barry I don't want to throw this away, how wise would I be as the ranger of county kerry to do that? I am not nuts! just crazy
love ya guy, hope you are feeling better------ This thread is Archived ------
I look back on all the 'in loves' in my life who just are not there any more.
One guy who I've known for thirty plus years, who at one time made me weak at the knees (I got over it)who has never said i love you to me was sitting here talking with me for three hours this week, checking out how I am doing. That is a type of caring that I would value over 'in love'.
And besides "in love" happens when you least expect it, it is what adds the depth and polish when real every day love exists.
Sounds a bit like you hve a commitment issue, especially with having a timeline set up and all. Basically you have to go with your heart or you can make two people very unhappy with their lot.
just don't throw out the baby with the bathwater, it is really hard getting them back later....
One guy who I've known for thirty plus years, who at one time made me weak at the knees (I got over it)who has never said i love you to me was sitting here talking with me for three hours this week, checking out how I am doing. That is a type of caring that I would value over 'in love'.
And besides "in love" happens when you least expect it, it is what adds the depth and polish when real every day love exists.
Sounds a bit like you hve a commitment issue, especially with having a timeline set up and all. Basically you have to go with your heart or you can make two people very unhappy with their lot.
just don't throw out the baby with the bathwater, it is really hard getting them back later....
------ This thread is Archived ------
countrygirl62: Some people that have been hurt, are reluctant to trust, or fall in love.
I have read both of your replies,,,,I think you are right, was just wondering if somebody else thought that way, thank you lady for your time for thinking of my problem, bless you
------ This thread is Archived ------
irishlass45: Been loyal to this Englishman since november, it is going very good, really good, with one exception. That being is this: very odd here now ok? would you expect any different from me? I think not. I came here in April and now I am back in August second visit he even went to Ireland with me in May, we get along very well, we respect each other, and I honestly do believe he loves me, he showers me like I am gold with all things in life, the problem is this, I want my man to be in love with me, he says it has been twenty five years since he was "IN LOVE" that if I were to go back to that place(where he fell in love years ago) maybe he would be "IN LOVE" with me, he calls it childish and says I am never going to be satisfied.......................am I being selfish to want it all? I love my family and my friends but I am not in love with them, there is a difference, and sadly this is going to hold me back I am afraid, I want it all, I want to be loved and I want my man to be IN LOVE with me, am I wrong? we could be good, very good companions in life, this I know but....................the one factor is missing out of my formula and that means a lot. He has even went so far as to let it slip he is in love with my character and that is what he fell for to start with,,,,am confused, am I being childish wanting this? or should I settle? I don't think I can to be honest. Nice replies are welcomed otherwise don't comment please.
for me i would want him to be in love with me..
i wouldnt settle for any less
------ This thread is Archived ------
bajanblue: I look back on all the 'in loves' in my life who just are not there any more.
One guy who I've known for thirty plus years, who at one time made me weak at the knees (I got over it)who has never said i love you to me was sitting here talking with me for three hours this week, checking out how I am doing. That is a type of caring that I would value over 'in love'.
And besides "in love" happens when you least expect it, it is what adds the depth and polish when real every day love exists.
Sounds a bit like you hve a commitment issue, especially with having a timeline set up and all. Basically you have to go with your heart or you can make two people very unhappy with their lot.
just don't throw out the baby with the bathwater, it is really hard getting them back later....
One guy who I've known for thirty plus years, who at one time made me weak at the knees (I got over it)who has never said i love you to me was sitting here talking with me for three hours this week, checking out how I am doing. That is a type of caring that I would value over 'in love'.
And besides "in love" happens when you least expect it, it is what adds the depth and polish when real every day love exists.
Sounds a bit like you hve a commitment issue, especially with having a timeline set up and all. Basically you have to go with your heart or you can make two people very unhappy with their lot.
just don't throw out the baby with the bathwater, it is really hard getting them back later....
I sure am glad that someone else around here thinks like I do. I was beginning to think I had landed once again on the wrong planet.
How are you Dorielle? Recovering I hope!!!
------ This thread is Archived ------
gingerb: I think that having him attendant on you and good to you is scaring you. You appear to be nit-picking details now because you maybe fear total commitment. Many people do this, including me.
First time a man gets close I pick a fight with him to put him off, even though that is not what I am sometimes telling myself.........
I am not saying this to be negative but to have you take a close look at your motives when throwing away someone and something that is as good as you say this is.
Fear will have us lonely and full of regrets for a lifetime, and it comes in many guises.
First time a man gets close I pick a fight with him to put him off, even though that is not what I am sometimes telling myself.........
I am not saying this to be negative but to have you take a close look at your motives when throwing away someone and something that is as good as you say this is.
Fear will have us lonely and full of regrets for a lifetime, and it comes in many guises.
you sweet little red head you! it is called sabatoging the realtionship, yes I wear this well, and it fits just fine with me,,,,,,egadds how well you see this, you might want to take note, as of right now I don't know what I am going to do but ginger? he sees these feelings and wants to talk them out! that is what I mean by almost perfect! damn, he has even slipped and said he is in love with me but I want that all out and out feeling from him,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,is that too much?
by the way my character is what he fell in love with because he was asking for a little bit of character to meet his mr. character so I gave him some.
ginger, you are sweet as usual thank you lady irish friend, I am in need tonight.
you are truely a sweety------ This thread is Archived ------
gingerb: I sure am glad that someone else around here thinks like I do. I was beginning to think I had landed once again on the wrong planet.
How are you Dorielle? Recovering I hope!!!
How are you Dorielle? Recovering I hope!!!
Hey ginger, if I had read the whole thread I probably would not have posted - ijust checked your original comment and agree with your analysis being highly possible.
I'm good today thanks.
------ This thread is Archived ------
CjTenorSax: If, you mean by the wording here, To go back to the place were THEY[/ b] fell in love, I would say he still has not accepted the fact that relationship is over.
You are not being silly. You are voicing valid concerns, as would I. My parents always told us you needed both: to Love the other person and to BE IN Love WITH the other person and I suscribe to this myself.
For him to say he needs you to go back to this place to be able to fall in love with you, tells me he is in a state where he is either trying to 'Transfer' his feelings. or 'Substitute' you for the other person. He is also trying to continue a past relationship with another.
I know people who have done this and they are unhappy. I only know of one couple who is happy having done the transfergence thing. I don't know how they manage to be happy. I could not.
I think a relationship should be unique, special and allowed to develope in its own way not to serve as a replacement for a old relationship.
Tread very carefully. You have these misgivings for a very good reason. Listen to your inner voice. Best of luck to you.
You are not being silly. You are voicing valid concerns, as would I. My parents always told us you needed both: to Love the other person and to BE IN Love WITH the other person and I suscribe to this myself.
For him to say he needs you to go back to this place to be able to fall in love with you, tells me he is in a state where he is either trying to 'Transfer' his feelings. or 'Substitute' you for the other person. He is also trying to continue a past relationship with another.
I know people who have done this and they are unhappy. I only know of one couple who is happy having done the transfergence thing. I don't know how they manage to be happy. I could not.
I think a relationship should be unique, special and allowed to develope in its own way not to serve as a replacement for a old relationship.
Tread very carefully. You have these misgivings for a very good reason. Listen to your inner voice. Best of luck to you.
you mam are a very wise woman, I see you here and there, thank you for your opinion, it means a great deal to me, I knew I would get the ones that are good on here and now I have a lot to think on,,,,,mainly stay with it for a while even though I have a time issue, which I do, you take care and thank you so much for your time
------ This thread is Archived ------
This Thread is Archived
This Thread is archived, so you will no longer be able to post to it. Threads get archived automatically when they are older than 3 months.
« Go back to All Threads
« Go back to All Threads
More Threads
Gal / sdarlagg passed away on April 10, 2024
Why is this shameful?
Democrats destroyed America
The GOP Representatives owned by Vladimir Putin
Unions support Democrats!
s*xual skills
makeover
Are the ads on here as phony as some of the profiles?
Who will be The Last Person To Post... VERSION FOUR
Kultur-multur
More Threads
Report threads that break rules, are offensive, or contain fighting. Staff may not be aware of the forum abuse, and cannot do anything about it unless you tell us about it. click to report forum abuse »
If one of the comments is offensive, please report the comment instead (there is a link in each comment to report it).
If one of the comments is offensive, please report the comment instead (there is a link in each comment to report it).
Stats for this Thread
1,875 Views
48 Comments
in Advice
Created: Sep 2008
Last Viewed: Apr 11
Last Commented: Sep 2008
0 Likes
Related Forums
- Gal / sdarlagg passed away on April 10, 2024
- Why is this shameful?
- Democrats destroyed America
- The GOP Representatives owned by Vladimir Putin
- Unions support Democrats!
- s*xual skills
- makeover
- Are the ads on here as phony as some of the profiles?
- Who will be The Last Person To Post... VERSION FOUR
- Kultur-multur