Can It Change With Time? (30)
Big_JohnOcean Springs, Mississippi USA19 Threads 9,767 PostsWhen you date someone from the internet and the first time you see her/him and you don't have that initial chemistry will or can it come with time? My friends tell me I need to continue dating her and it will grow. Give it more time. Will it?
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i am definately into the chemistry thing. so i am not too sure of that
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Big_John: When you date someone from the internet and the first time you see her/him and you don't have that initial chemistry will or can it come with time? My friends tell me I need to continue dating her and it will grow. Give it more time. Will it?
It may...you two must have liked each other enough to meet. I would give it a couple more dates to see where it goes. Good luck John...
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mbcasey: It may...you two must have liked each other enough to meet. I would give it a couple more dates to see where it goes. Good luck John...
Have you ever blown a person off after the first contact?
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Big_John: When you date someone from the internet and the first time you see her/him and you don't have that initial chemistry will or can it come with time? My friends tell me I need to continue dating her and it will grow. Give it more time. Will it?
Sometimes it can, if you both can become friends as well. To have a long lasting relationship IMO you have to have that ability to be like good friends first and it grows from there.
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Big_John: When you date someone from the internet and the first time you see her/him and you don't have that initial chemistry will or can it come with time? My friends tell me I need to continue dating her and it will grow. Give it more time. Will it?
Not in my world...
But good luck!!
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Big_John: Have you ever blown a person off after the first contact?
No...but they blew me off...
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I doubt it. If it isn't there in the initial spark I don't think you can "grow" into it. You can grow to like the person from the inside, but if there isn't a first impression of physical attraction to begin with I highly doubt you can learn to want someone.
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Olsojente: Not in my world... But good luck!!
I am not dating anyone right now. I asked this question because I have had several one night dates and it was because I didn't feel the chemistry on the first meeting.
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Big_John: When you date someone from the internet and the first time you see her/him and you don't have that initial chemistry will or can it come with time? My friends tell me I need to continue dating her and it will grow. Give it more time. Will it?
To me I'd have to ask whether it would be different had you met IRL in your town. What if it's a lady you knew from your church that you'd really taken no notice of, and suddenly you find yourself talking to her. Over time you really enjoy her company, like many of the same things, and just generally like her. But at first you had felt nothing. Is it possible to have a spark later? That's up to you. If you have really liked your time on the net with her and feel like you want to meet, then go for it. I don't think people should necessarily make a decision immediately if you don't have an instant spark. Sparks were there before you met, right? The best that could happen is the spark does come after a few more meets. The worst? You made a good friend.
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Big_John: Have you ever blown a person off after the first contact?
Not after the first contact, only after he got to third base....
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nurcnurc: To me I'd have to ask whether it would be different had you met IRL in your town. What if it's a lady you knew from your church that you'd really taken no notice of, and suddenly you find yourself talking to her. Over time you really enjoy her company, like many of the same things, and just generally like her. But at first you had felt nothing. Is it possible to have a spark later? That's up to you. If you have really liked your time on the net with her and feel like you want to meet, then go for it. I don't think people should necessarily make a decision immediately if you don't have an instant spark. Sparks were there before you met, right? The best that could happen is the spark does come after a few more meets. The worst? You made a good friend.
Has this situation ever happen to you. Did you grow to like a person that you were not initially attracted to?
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Big_John: What if I hit a home run on the first night?
My lips are sealed..........
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I don´t believe so. If the initial interest/spark, whatever you choose to call it, isn´t there, I doubt it will ever be.
I´ve had several online dates, and never agreed to a second date, because I knew that there was no point. Harsh maybe, and I´m not saying they were all really bad, but there was just no ooomph!
I´ve had several online dates, and never agreed to a second date, because I knew that there was no point. Harsh maybe, and I´m not saying they were all really bad, but there was just no ooomph!
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Big_John: Have you ever blown a person off after the first contact?
Yes I have, but it was not due to instant chemistry. I've only had that "instant chemistry" once after talking with someone over the net for a time. Other first dates have not had that chemistry, but I either found out thy weren't who they portrayed themselves to be, or we became good friends.
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Jan1305: I don´t believe so. If the initial interest/spark, whatever you choose to call it, isn´t there, I doubt it will ever be.
I´ve had several online dates, and never agreed to a second date, because I knew that there was no point. Harsh maybe, and I´m not saying they were all really bad, but there was just no ooomph!
I´ve had several online dates, and never agreed to a second date, because I knew that there was no point. Harsh maybe, and I´m not saying they were all really bad, but there was just no ooomph!
This has happenned to me five times. I thought maybe I wasn't giving it enough chance to develop. We would write and message each other. We would IM and spend hours communicating. We would talk on the phone and everything seem find and I was excited to meet and date the person. Then the date and I was wow--no chemistry.
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nurcnurc: Yes I have, but it was not due to instant chemistry. I've only had that "instant chemistry" once after talking with someone over the net for a time. Other first dates have not had that chemistry, but I either found out thy weren't who they portrayed themselves to be, or we became good friends.
Why do you think that happened?
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Seriously though, if you "met" them through the internet you do have an idea of what they look like, so their photo must have attracted you physically. If then you meet in person and no attraction then it probably wasn't their looks to begin with.
I personally have had experience in meeting gentlemen on the net and the "spark" was just not there after meeting them in person.
I won't go into detail of why but they "just were not my cup of tea"......
I personally have had experience in meeting gentlemen on the net and the "spark" was just not there after meeting them in person.
I won't go into detail of why but they "just were not my cup of tea"......
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For the most part yes, but if they are not even close to being attractive to you, then later you might not be entirely happy... Some people cheat just because of that reason....
But if they are iffy to you, yes personality can allow you to see them better looking then what you thought they were at the first meeting... JMHO
But if they are iffy to you, yes personality can allow you to see them better looking then what you thought they were at the first meeting... JMHO
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Big_John: This has happenned to me five times. I thought maybe I wasn't giving it enough chance to develop. We would write and message each other. We would IM and spend hours communicating. We would talk on the phone and everything seem find and I was excited to meet and date the person. Then the date and I was wow--no chemistry.
I think this just proves that physical chemistry is so important.
If you meet somebody in a bar for example, you are initially attracted to the look, later that may of course change if the character doesnt match up. However, here we may spend ages communicating and think we have something, yet when we meet, it´s a big disappointment. Not just because there is no physical chemistry, but also because the written word or telephone communication is poles apart from face to face contact.
I would much rather meet somebody in real life, see firsthand what´s on offer then make my mind up later as to whether this person is a good match, than make my mind up first, based on virtual communication,as we do on dating sites, then meet and be sorely disappointed.
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Created: Jan 2009
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