Yes, I agree, in order to understand your mind I need to know where this poem originated from. Your last comment made me speak out. I've been through the poem many times, trying to make up my mind what to say: whatever you do (for her) is in vain, hence the pain and the images of thunder roaring far off and forever, which are thoughts of future not so bright, even menacing as it means the death / the end of game (love), which once was a solace for you, leaving a shame, your thoughts being mournful as if provoked by the death of love. Sorry, if I made a mess of the poem.

I'm glad I made it through the maze of your poem. I forgot to add: cheer up! - the most important thing. Happy New Year, dear poet, and many happy returns of it! Marikia