As I sit in what use to be our home
knowing this will be my last night,
How do I express my pain through this pen
as I watch the blood drip from my arm
while I try to write?

Have to find a way to rid the pain
cause its killing me, it really hurts alot,
If you could see the misery Im in now
would you try to save or rescue me? OR,
Do you even care about me anymore or not?

Cant explain how this feels
Ive never hurt this deep before,
Every second, ways to die are crossing my mind
more and more.

Easiest way would be a gun, bullet, and a very close shot,
within a fration of a second
all my pains and problems could be stopped.
If this was my future, would you feel the slightest bit sad?
Do you even care that much or not?

Please tell me how Im suppose to cope and react?
When for five years I gave you my heart
and in one night,you gave it right back,
Thats why I have to finish these drugs
and pray my plan will work
Where I do so much, I would just die of a heart attack.

If I die, its because of this heart I could never mend,
I know I can no longer go on living this way
Will today be the day my life shall come to an end?
Do you still care about me anymore?
Are you even still my friend?

Love hurts so much, like my heart as been cut
by a thousand stabbing knives,
If only one could finish the job to end the hurt and pain
that you have now put in my life.

Especially when I have this much pain
that I know I could never deny,
The only way the pain could continue to hurt
was if I "chose" to stay alive.

My body and arms are so sore
now I can feel my heart beating too fast,
Please God, let now be my time
and soon I will forget this feeling and leave it in the past.

Life or death, I will always keep one memory
a memory of us both,
Its the one that lets me remember
how we use to love each other just a short time ago,
It remains safe in my mind and soul,
For this one memory, is the only memory,
I will forever hold.

I PROMISE
to always hold and remember it and never forget
even if your not there,
Just like the memory
that scar you left in my heart
will always be here.

If I take this memory to the grave with me today
would your heart receive a new tear,
or would you even notice?
Cause all along you never did care?