He thought I was the culprit
He thought it came from me
As, the person stood behind me
He couldn't, clearly see.
I really didn't do it
I swear and cross my heart
But, before I could explain to him
The assault, from him did start.

He poked me in the ribs
He stomped upon my toe
He hit me with his walking stick
And, boy it hurt me so.
He put his face, right up to mine
And shouted really loud
So as you can imagine
We, attracted quite a crowd.

"How very dare you, sneeze on me"
He yelled, his face now red
I really thought his eyes
Would pop right out his head.
"Did you not, have a tissue
Could your scarf, you not have used
You've spread your dreaded 'lurgy'
Now I'm not so, oh amused".

I tried so hard to tell him
T'was someone else, stood in the queue
Who by this time had sneaked by us
And was now, at counter two.
But, he ne'er at all believed me
Just gave me, a final poke and prod
One last whack with his, walking stick
Turned around and marched right out....