Once in Rome in the Hotel Astoria,
A young lady created euphoria,
When she took off her bra
In the men's only bar
And found herself before the Propraetor

"Young lady, oh what have we here!"
Demanded the judge in her ear,
"It says in the evidence
That you did it in self-defence
Over the right to drink beer!!"

"That's true" said the lady in question
"I would like to honourably mention,
It’s a fact that in Italy
It would seem a pity
If one did not do as in Rome, not in Preston!

In her defence, she then said
"I declare that I was misled
It was for recreation
And not procreation
That the gentleman took me to bed"

"I merely stood on my steadfast laurels
For the right to drink beer out of barrels
And removing my bra
Was much better by far
Than dying of thirst for some morals"

Then the magistrate brought down his hammer
And declared, with an unusual stammer,
"The case is dismissed
I think they were pissed
From the clientele down to the Manager!"

@ PJW 2000