Mamma, I had my rag dolls on my chair
Sitting in my room and now their gone!
‘Are you sure they were on the chair
They didn’t just vanish in thin air’!

Maybe this is what happened . . .

Raggedy Ann was playing the part
Of a Lady in love in a castle far away
Tired of waiting for her Lord to return
She wandered down the hall and did stray
Happening upon the dimly lit dining hall
She helped herself to a little sip of brandy
Feeling lost without her Raggedy Andy
Who is pretending to be the castle Lord
That comes to find her fighting to the death
With his mighty shield and Nerf sword

They love one another right Mamma?
‘yes, dear, but let me finish my drama’

Now, there are at least eight rag dolls
In this house, maybe more, I’m not sure
And I’ve seen them in every room
In every form of costume
They’ve been thrown on the floor
Hidden behind locked doors
Flopped on and under chairs
Found among your teddy bears
Left abandoned on the stairs

Crumpled in corners amongst the dust bunnies
Don’t laugh, this lost rag doll situation isn’t funny
Broom handles we had to use to retrieve
The rag dolls we found way under your beds
That fiasco rescue resulting in bumped heads
Why these rag dolls get lost is hard to conceive
And you know how many times I’ve tripped over them
Missing rag dolls are turning our house into mayhem

Admit it love, they’ve been all over this house
Been found in more places than a castle mouse
Their everywhere and they always go missing
There is no need to blame your sisters

So, the very next time your rag dolls are lost
Probably tomorrow or the next day, I’d say . . .
I want you to pretend that they are fair maidens
Held captive by an evil wizard in a far away castle
Peering out a window as they tug on a velvet tassel
In order to save them and rescue them again (and again)
You need to gather a formidable army and saddle your horses
Enlisting your sister Knights to join up with your search forces

Interruption . . .

What about Lord Raggedy Andy that comes to the rescue
Fighting to the death with his mighty shield and Nerf sword?

Pause …

Lord Raggedy Andy is a spy and was tried in King’s court for malicious lies
Honestly, he wouldn’t have been much help, remember, he has button eyes!

Well, his shield and his Nerf sword were not fit for battle being way too soft
Oh, by the way, I think I saw your rag dolls out in the barn, way up in the loft

Go look! And if you find your rag dolls you can have a piece of candy
I’ll be waiting here in the dining hall, just having a little sip of brandy