Standing Here
I`ve been standing here for years
my knees are caving in
my ankles can`t hold me up much longer
I`ve been close to sitting
done a little stooping
there might be cobwebs under my feet
I haven`t checked
darkness is all around me
and like a deer in headlights i`m mortified
am I surrounded by spiders that I cannot see
are they the shadows that cave in on me
every sound is torture even if it`s a happy one
because I am jealous of happiness
I want to run, to swim, move in any way I can
but standing here my strength is gone
and the laughter dies away
maybe just a little dance step?
no, that has happiness too
my legs are shaking
my brain is trying to take charge
to stand me up awhile
at least I rested for 4 years in a stoop
when I was partially loved
and then it all unraveled and the truth be told
it was a lie
now again I stand here
being the pillar
the rock
the ant that can carry far above his weight
here I stand
waiting for someone else to hold me up
and not be a temporary fix
a patch to cover the hole
until it can be replaced
when I can afford it
here I stand waiting for someone else to hold me up
so I don`t have to anymore
because I`m still standing
standing alone
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Aug 2010
About this poem:
This just came to mind now, about the thoughts in my head. I feel like I`m keeping myself standing by sheer strength but it won`t last, and I`ll need someone to love me, where his love will be enough to keep me moving, instead of stuck here standing. I`m sick of those relationships where I`m left wishing I hadn`t wasted my time, my love, and my strength. I can imagine what I could`ve done in that time. Unfortunately, my life is improving by leaps and bounds, but I`m still here standing.
Comments (4)
It paints a nice picture
time and patience shall prevail
all the best
blessings and love
Since it's harder to stop a moving force, we walk, one foot in front of the other, until ready to run, to swim, move in any way I can. Thank you for sharing.
"am I surrounded by spiders that I cannot see
are they the shadows that cave in on me" ...nice lines