So many fires, gone yet alive




So many flames, dim but still kindled




Lost hope may be the feeling but has not taken root




The branches stretch out to entangle those souls




The ones who still seek the one they would call their own.




Hope, though the light my be dim




Shadows pressing in to devour the little flame that is left




Still, there’s a spark, an ember, that thing that will not die




Hope




Sorrow, pain, loss, envy, bitterness, wrath, anger and more




Seek to destroy the glow of the little ember.




Somehow, some way it still burns.




Some think it dead




But then, there is that one




Why? How? What is it that happens?




Something, but to each it is different.




The ember burns hotter and is felt by those who thought it gone




Those who even wish it to leave.




A life less complicated. Once surrounded with walls.




Don’t touch me, how dare you? Why do I have hope?




Why return to me? I was done with you, I was fine being cold.




Not feeling, not caring and most of all, not believing.




Oh hope of love, why have you returned? To cause me more pain?




And yet,




Though my heart does tremble,




Though the tears do come and I fear once again.




I admit




I feel alive. So damn alive!




I’m afraid, but I know, I will chance it all.




I have responsibilities, but still, I will find a way.




My heart or my mind? Any more I do not know.




But they won’t allow me. I can’t, I just can’t let it go.




This ember I thought dead. This hope that has returned.




Why do you torment me, you hope that I thought had forsaken me?




I did not want you to return. I did not want you at all. I did not want you ever again.




You let them hurt me, those enemy’s of yours.




But still




I feel your warmth, as if you embrace me.




I feel a live, and it has been so long.




With all I had, I tried to get rid of you.




Within me I screamed but you would not hear.




“Leave me alone? I don’t deserve this love or this pain! Go away I don’t want you anymore! Why did this happen to me?”




But you passed through, as if the walls I set before you did not exist.




I find, I do not deserve you, then again, nobody does. There are none deserving, but that is not how you work.




You are here and it is inevitable.




So I will embrace you.




My heals dug in, waiting for the blow.




If the pain returns, upon my knees I’ll fall once again.




But you, wise teacher, have taught me well.




For in myself I see. I see you.




I can’t give up, not on you.




My hope




My hope to love again.