You are browsing through C'S and want to connect with someone, but you notice they are suffering a terminal disease, not HIV, you..... go ahead and make contact, they might just write you into their will, you stay away, the emotional turmoil of saying goodbye to someone you know is just too much,
caperock: You are browsing through C'S and want to connect with someone, but you notice they are suffering a terminal disease, not HIV, you..... go ahead and make contact, they might just write you into their will, you stay away, the emotional turmoil of saying goodbye to someone you know is just too much,
This would have been a very good thread had you not written the first choice. I am almost always very liberal about discussing anything and everything, but this first choice is offensive. There are members here who have terminal illnesses; some of us are trying our best to beat the odds, some of us may be winning. It is true that when a potential partner knows this about us, then we are dropped. It isn't something to joke or laugh about.
rohaan: This would have been a very good thread had you not written the first choice. I am almost always very liberal about discussing anything and everything, but this first choice is offensive. There are members here who have terminal illnesses; some of us are trying our best to beat the odds, some of us may be winning. It is true that when a potential partner knows this about us, then we are dropped. It isn't something to joke or laugh about.
Agree with what you have said, am just trying to deal with my own situation, just wanted to add some humour into the blog, do not want to offend anyone
caperock: Agree with what you have said, am just trying to deal with my own situation, just wanted to add some humour into the blog, do not want to offend anyone
We broke up for other reasons. He´s still living!!! We´re very good friends.
Im not sure myself what I would do, but knowing my nature, I would most probably date/ befriend someone in this position if there was naturally, a connection...., If they were already in my life, it would make no difference to me, I would be there to support them as long as they wanted me to.... and then even if they did not... My hat off to you......
anitalouiseperth, Western Australia Australia18 posts
All life is terminal. The difference between someone with a terminal illness and the rest of us is that the person with the T.I. already knows what will be the most likely cause of their demise.
A tick box doesn't address the issue of whether or not to pursue a connection as it would depend on the stage of a person's illness. Not everyone with cancer is going to die tomorrow. Some are genetically predisposed, happy to state that from the outset and live on for a very long time.
I personally consider it's good form to state upfront if you are dying of something or impaired in some way, so potential partners can make informed choices. There is also a good chance of drawing interest from someone on a similar journey.
I'll befriend anyone....dying or not...online. I talk to many, but meet very few. If they happen to be dying of cancer, I'm not going to hit 'delete' unless they are a pain in the bum about it.
caperock: Im not sure myself what I would do, but knowing my nature, I would most probably date/ befriend someone in this position if there was naturally, a connection...., If they were already in my life, it would make no difference to me, I would be there to support them as long as they wanted me to.... and then even if they did not... My hat off to you......
They were beautiful times
I´ve cared for him a few times when he got "sick" after we broke up and he´s been (and still is) very supportive to me when I´ve needed emotional support due to difficult emotionally taxing family worries.
anitalouise: All life is terminal. The difference between someone with a terminal illness and the rest of us is that the person with the T.I. already knows what will be the most likely cause of their demise.
A tick box doesn't address the issue of whether or not to pursue a connection as it would depend on the stage of a person's illness. Not everyone with cancer is going to die tomorrow. Some are genetically predisposed, happy to state that from the outset and live on for a very long time.
I personally consider it's good form to state upfront if you are dying of something or impaired in some way, so potential partners can make informed choices. There is also a good chance of drawing interest from someone on a similar journey.
I'll befriend anyone....dying or not...online. I talk to many, but meet very few. If they happen to be dying of cancer, I'm not going to hit 'delete' unless they are a pain in the bum about it.
Mmmmm good answer, so far the general consensus on the poll follows your sentiments, my feelings are that some would be intimidated by knowing that there may be a finite date to the potential relationship and hence avert getting involved because of that..., but each to their own, In many countries there is a great support system set up for people in this situation, here there is a lot to be desired.....
terbear57: After almost a year of treatments i know who are my friends and who is not.One good friend who is always their is priceless
Amen!..and i to is going thru the same thing.Living in the life of cancer isn't easy but having true friends to keep you positive sure helps the road less bumpy.
caperock: You are browsing through C'S and want to connect with someone, but you notice they are suffering a terminal disease, not HIV, you..... go ahead and make contact, they might just write you into their will, you stay away, the emotional turmoil of saying goodbye to someone you know is just too much,
I think I would just make that person into a penpal on the forums. If you marry them, you could end up with all their debts and a credit card bill. It would be a good trick taking out life insurance policies on a terminally ill person. If you don't marry them, you might not have the right to visit them in the hospital. They might be a scammer trying to get you to marry them for some nefarious reason. Then you might think a person who might die would be grateful to have you but very sick people sometimes get abusive and demanding because they are scared. Then again, if you really really like the person and your feelings are returned, it might be worth it to be with him to the last and give him comfort. And he might live. You never know. Some people who are supposed to die stay alive anyway.
I admire your positivity in these difficult times, I believe one should take what we have been given, life and all it's joys, with both hands and live to the fullest, grab opportunities given to us and relish the times we have experienced. I hope you have a full recovery.
Witchaywoman: I think I would just make that person into a penpal on the forums. If you marry them, you could end up with all their debts and a credit card bill. It would be a good trick taking out life insurance policies on a terminally ill person. If you don't marry them, you might not have the right to visit them in the hospital. They might be a scammer trying to get you to marry them for some nefarious reason. Then you might think a person who might die would be grateful to have you but very sick people sometimes get abusive and demanding because they are scared. Then again, if you really really like the person and your feelings are returned, it might be worth it to be with him to the last and give him comfort. And he might live. You never know. Some people who are supposed to die stay alive anyway.
Like your attitude, All you said could very well be true, it's nice to see what others have to say about this and their thoughts, one who has T.I, their thoughts may be channelled within limited options, may just be focusing on one thought and not considering other options in the relationship game...
terbear57: After almost a year of treatments i know who are my friends and who is not.One good friend who is always their is priceless
You are so right. A medical crisis separates the men from the boys, indeed. Fortunately I had cultivated genuine friends. I was treated very well by them.
This has happened to me online and in real life. Of course I would befriend a person with a terminal illness. Why wouldn't I? First of all, anybody can die any day, any time. The only difference is that terminally ill people have an approximate date of their death and the rest of us do not.
Romantically I wouldn't get involved only because of the knowledge that the relationship is finite. Sounds a bit contradictory, but the burden of knowing ahead of time how long it will last is too much stress and too painful. If death occurs without warning or an illness occurs while I'm involed, I will deal with it, but I like to live with the illusion that things can continue longer than they actually may in reality.
Scubadiva: This has happened to me online and in real life. Of course I would befriend a person with a terminal illness. Why wouldn't I? First of all, anybody can die any day, any time. The only difference is that terminally ill people have an approximate date of their death and the rest of us do not.
Romantically I wouldn't get involved only because of the knowledge that the relationship is finite. Sounds a bit contradictory, but the burden of knowing ahead of time how long it will last is too much stress and too painful. If death occurs without warning or an illness occurs while I'm involed, I will deal with it, but I like to live with the illusion that things can continue longer than they actually may in reality.
I don't think your response is all that unusual. Thanks for being completely honest.
rohaan: I don't think your response is all that unusual. Thanks for being completely honest.
Of course I'm honest. This is a serious subject matter and also one that people don't generally like to talk about. In our youth obsessed society and medical miracles, we tend to stick our head in the sand until we are affected by the inevitable.
Yes I would date someone who is terminally ill, everyone needs love and to go through something so traumatic they need someone who is supportive and loving.
crazyblondeone: Yes I would date someone who is terminally ill, everyone needs love and to go through something so traumatic they need someone who is supportive and loving.
yes by all means. we are all human beings and we each deserve to be loved and cared for. no one chooses to have terminal illnesses. we need to be considerate, compassionate and supportive.
caperock: You are browsing through C'S and want to connect with someone, but you notice they are suffering a terminal disease, not HIV, you..... go ahead and make contact, they might just write you into their will, you stay away, the emotional turmoil of saying goodbye to someone you know is just too much,
I once was married to a man who could of inherited a terminal disease, but eventually we divorced under different circumtances.
lifeisadreamMexi Go, Mexico State Mexico16,713 posts
Honestly I would not date a person with a terminal disease I could not handle it. I consider myself strong but when it comes to losing people that I love, that is just devastating and if I can avoid it I will.
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Will you date/befriend someone who has cancer / terminal disease(Vote Below)