Will you date/befriend someone who has cancer / terminal disease ( Archived) (38)

Apr 28, 2012 3:09 PM CSTWill you date/befriend someone who has cancer / terminal disease
caperock
caperockcaperockCape Town, Western Cape, South Africa1 Threads 1 Polls 9 Posts

Will you date/befriend someone who has cancer / terminal disease(Vote Below)

- (To Vote: select an option above, then press this button)
Hell yes, marry, and inherit all
7
10%
Be a friend, support and suffer the loss
52
76%
No, don't want to get involved
3
4%
No, might be contaigous
0
0%
Na it's just too complicated
4
6%
I don't want to spread their ashes
2
3%
Total Votes
68
You are browsing through C'S and want to connect with someone, but you notice they are suffering a terminal disease, not HIV, you..... go ahead and make contact, they might just write you into their will, you stay away, the emotional turmoil of saying goodbye to someone you know is just too much,
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Apr 28, 2012 3:16 PM CST Will you date/befriend someone who has cancer / terminal disease
caperock: You are browsing through C'S and want to connect with someone, but you notice they are suffering a terminal disease, not HIV, you..... go ahead and make contact, they might just write you into their will, you stay away, the emotional turmoil of saying goodbye to someone you know is just too much,
This would have been a very good thread had you not written the first choice. I am almost always very liberal about discussing anything and everything, but this first choice is offensive. There are members here who have terminal illnesses; some of us are trying our best to beat the odds, some of us may be winning. It is true that when a potential partner knows this about us, then we are dropped. It isn't something to joke or laugh about.
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Apr 28, 2012 3:34 PM CST Will you date/befriend someone who has cancer / terminal disease
caperock
caperockcaperockCape Town, Western Cape South Africa1 Threads 1 Polls 9 Posts
rohaan: This would have been a very good thread had you not written the first choice. I am almost always very liberal about discussing anything and everything, but this first choice is offensive. There are members here who have terminal illnesses; some of us are trying our best to beat the odds, some of us may be winning. It is true that when a potential partner knows this about us, then we are dropped. It isn't something to joke or laugh about.

Agree with what you have said, am just trying to deal with my own situation, just wanted to add some humour into the blog, do not want to offend anyone
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Apr 28, 2012 3:39 PM CST Will you date/befriend someone who has cancer / terminal disease
caperock: Agree with what you have said, am just trying to deal with my own situation, just wanted to add some humour into the blog, do not want to offend anyone
handshake Understood.
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Apr 28, 2012 3:47 PM CST Will you date/befriend someone who has cancer / terminal disease
EagleWoman
EagleWomanEagleWomanMalaga, Andalusia Spain22 Threads 4,719 Posts
I did ...

We broke up for other reasons. He´s still living!!! We´re very good friends. bouquet
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Apr 28, 2012 3:50 PM CST Will you date/befriend someone who has cancer / terminal disease
EagleWoman
EagleWomanEagleWomanMalaga, Andalusia Spain22 Threads 4,719 Posts
Why isn´t there a choice for "Yes, date/have relationship with him/her? dunno
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Apr 28, 2012 4:01 PM CST Will you date/befriend someone who has cancer / terminal disease
terbear57
terbear57terbear57Grand Rapids, Michigan USA10 Threads 6 Polls 462 Posts
After almost a year of treatments i know who are my friends and
who is not.One good friend who is always their is priceless
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Apr 28, 2012 4:25 PM CST Will you date/befriend someone who has cancer / terminal disease
caperock
caperockcaperockCape Town, Western Cape South Africa1 Threads 1 Polls 9 Posts
EagleWoman: Why isn´t there a choice for "Yes, date/have relationship with him/her?

My first posting........Fingas tooo quick on the keyboard..... doh
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Apr 28, 2012 4:28 PM CST Will you date/befriend someone who has cancer / terminal disease
caperock
caperockcaperockCape Town, Western Cape South Africa1 Threads 1 Polls 9 Posts
terbear57: After almost a year of treatments i know who are my friends and
who is not.One good friend who is always there is priceless


Good for you, it's good to be positive and have real friends around you......... I hope there are more around for others who need them
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Apr 28, 2012 4:30 PM CST Will you date/befriend someone who has cancer / terminal disease
EagleWoman
EagleWomanEagleWomanMalaga, Andalusia Spain22 Threads 4,719 Posts
laugh

bouquet
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Apr 28, 2012 4:31 PM CST Will you date/befriend someone who has cancer / terminal disease
EagleWoman
EagleWomanEagleWomanMalaga, Andalusia Spain22 Threads 4,719 Posts
caperock: My first posting........Fingas tooo quick on the keyboard.....



laugh

bouquet
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Apr 28, 2012 4:36 PM CST Will you date/befriend someone who has cancer / terminal disease
caperock
caperockcaperockCape Town, Western Cape South Africa1 Threads 1 Polls 9 Posts
EagleWoman: I did ...

We broke up for other reasons. He´s still living!!! We´re very good friends.


Im not sure myself what I would do, but knowing my nature, I would most probably date/ befriend someone in this position if there was naturally, a connection....,
If they were already in my life, it would make no difference to me, I would be there to support them as long as they wanted me to.... and then even if they did not...
My hat off to you......wave
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Apr 28, 2012 4:46 PM CST Will you date/befriend someone who has cancer / terminal disease
anitalouise
anitalouiseanitalouiseperth, Western Australia Australia2 Threads 1 Polls 18 Posts
All life is terminal. The difference between someone with a terminal illness and the rest of us is that the person with the T.I. already knows what will be the most likely cause of their demise.

A tick box doesn't address the issue of whether or not to pursue a connection as it would depend on the stage of a person's illness. Not everyone with cancer is going to die tomorrow. Some are genetically predisposed, happy to state that from the outset and live on for a very long time.

I personally consider it's good form to state upfront if you are dying of something or impaired in some way, so potential partners can make informed choices. There is also a good chance of drawing interest from someone on a similar journey.

I'll befriend anyone....dying or not...online. I talk to many, but meet very few. If they happen to be dying of cancer, I'm not going to hit 'delete' unless they are a pain in the bum about it.
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Apr 28, 2012 4:54 PM CST Will you date/befriend someone who has cancer / terminal disease
EagleWoman
EagleWomanEagleWomanMalaga, Andalusia Spain22 Threads 4,719 Posts
caperock: Im not sure myself what I would do, but knowing my nature, I would most probably date/ befriend someone in this position if there was naturally, a connection....,
If they were already in my life, it would make no difference to me, I would be there to support them as long as they wanted me to.... and then even if they did not...
My hat off to you......


They were beautiful times daydream

I´ve cared for him a few times when he got "sick" after we broke up and he´s been (and still is) very supportive to me when I´ve needed emotional support due to difficult emotionally taxing family worries.
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Apr 28, 2012 5:04 PM CST Will you date/befriend someone who has cancer / terminal disease
caperock
caperockcaperockCape Town, Western Cape South Africa1 Threads 1 Polls 9 Posts
anitalouise: All life is terminal. The difference between someone with a terminal illness and the rest of us is that the person with the T.I. already knows what will be the most likely cause of their demise.

A tick box doesn't address the issue of whether or not to pursue a connection as it would depend on the stage of a person's illness. Not everyone with cancer is going to die tomorrow. Some are genetically predisposed, happy to state that from the outset and live on for a very long time.

I personally consider it's good form to state upfront if you are dying of something or impaired in some way, so potential partners can make informed choices. There is also a good chance of drawing interest from someone on a similar journey.

I'll befriend anyone....dying or not...online. I talk to many, but meet very few. If they happen to be dying of cancer, I'm not going to hit 'delete' unless they are a pain in the bum about it.


Mmmmm good answer, so far the general consensus on the poll follows your sentiments, my feelings are that some would be intimidated by knowing that there may be a finite date to the potential relationship and hence avert getting involved because of that..., but each to their own,
In many countries there is a great support system set up for people in this situation, here there is a lot to be desired.....
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Apr 29, 2012 1:23 AM CST Will you date/befriend someone who has cancer / terminal disease
Daisy64
Daisy64Daisy64Prineville, Oregon USA2 Posts
I am currently battling BC and have my profle here.I figured what the heck..take a leap of faith.
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Apr 29, 2012 1:30 AM CST Will you date/befriend someone who has cancer / terminal disease
Daisy64
Daisy64Daisy64Prineville, Oregon USA2 Posts
terbear57: After almost a year of treatments i know who are my friends and
who is not.One good friend who is always their is priceless


Amen!..and i to is going thru the same thing.Living in the life of cancer isn't easy but having true friends to keep you positive sure helps the road less bumpy.
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Apr 29, 2012 3:28 AM CST Will you date/befriend someone who has cancer / terminal disease
Witchaywoman
WitchaywomanWitchaywomanCarpentersville, Illinois USA97 Threads 13 Polls 4,344 Posts
caperock: You are browsing through C'S and want to connect with someone, but you notice they are suffering a terminal disease, not HIV, you..... go ahead and make contact, they might just write you into their will, you stay away, the emotional turmoil of saying goodbye to someone you know is just too much,


I think I would just make that person into a penpal on the forums. If you marry them, you could end up with all their debts and a credit card bill. It would be a good trick taking out life insurance policies on a terminally ill person. If you don't marry them, you might not have the right to visit them in the hospital. They might be a scammer trying to get you to marry them for some nefarious reason. Then you might think a person who might die would be grateful to have you but very sick people sometimes get abusive and demanding because they are scared. Then again, if you really really like the person and your feelings are returned, it might be worth it to be with him to the last and give him comfort. And he might live. You never know. Some people who are supposed to die stay alive anyway.
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Apr 29, 2012 3:52 AM CST Will you date/befriend someone who has cancer / terminal disease
caperock
caperockcaperockCape Town, Western Cape South Africa1 Threads 1 Polls 9 Posts
I admire your positivity in these difficult times, I believe one should take what we have been given, life and all it's joys, with both hands and live to the fullest, grab opportunities given to us and relish the times we have experienced.
I hope you have a full recovery.
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Apr 29, 2012 4:05 AM CST Will you date/befriend someone who has cancer / terminal disease
caperock
caperockcaperockCape Town, Western Cape South Africa1 Threads 1 Polls 9 Posts
Witchaywoman: I think I would just make that person into a penpal on the forums. If you marry them, you could end up with all their debts and a credit card bill. It would be a good trick taking out life insurance policies on a terminally ill person. If you don't marry them, you might not have the right to visit them in the hospital. They might be a scammer trying to get you to marry them for some nefarious reason. Then you might think a person who might die would be grateful to have you but very sick people sometimes get abusive and demanding because they are scared. Then again, if you really really like the person and your feelings are returned, it might be worth it to be with him to the last and give him comfort. And he might live. You never know. Some people who are supposed to die stay alive anyway.

Like your attitude, bouquet
All you said could very well be true, it's nice to see what others have to say about this and their thoughts, one who has T.I, their thoughts may be channelled within limited options, may just be focusing on one thought and not considering other options in the relationship game...
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Apr 30, 2012 12:21 PM CST Will you date/befriend someone who has cancer / terminal disease
terbear57: After almost a year of treatments i know who are my friends and
who is not.One good friend who is always their is priceless
You are so right. A medical crisis separates the men from the boys, indeed. Fortunately I had cultivated genuine friends. I was treated very well by them.
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Apr 30, 2012 1:01 PM CST Will you date/befriend someone who has cancer / terminal disease
Scubadiva
ScubadivaScubadivaNew Jersey, USA106 Threads 11 Polls 2,689 Posts
This has happened to me online and in real life. Of course I would befriend a person with a terminal illness. Why wouldn't I? First of all, anybody can die any day, any time. The only difference is that terminally ill people have an approximate date of their death and the rest of us do not.

Romantically I wouldn't get involved only because of the knowledge that the relationship is finite. Sounds a bit contradictory, but the burden of knowing ahead of time how long it will last is too much stress and too painful. If death occurs without warning or an illness occurs while I'm involed, I will deal with it, but I like to live with the illusion that things can continue longer than they actually may in reality.
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Apr 30, 2012 1:05 PM CST Will you date/befriend someone who has cancer / terminal disease
Scubadiva: This has happened to me online and in real life. Of course I would befriend a person with a terminal illness. Why wouldn't I? First of all, anybody can die any day, any time. The only difference is that terminally ill people have an approximate date of their death and the rest of us do not.

Romantically I wouldn't get involved only because of the knowledge that the relationship is finite. Sounds a bit contradictory, but the burden of knowing ahead of time how long it will last is too much stress and too painful. If death occurs without warning or an illness occurs while I'm involed, I will deal with it, but I like to live with the illusion that things can continue longer than they actually may in reality.
I don't think your response is all that unusual. Thanks for being completely honest.
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Apr 30, 2012 1:18 PM CST Will you date/befriend someone who has cancer / terminal disease
Scubadiva
ScubadivaScubadivaNew Jersey, USA106 Threads 11 Polls 2,689 Posts
rohaan: I don't think your response is all that unusual. Thanks for being completely honest.


Of course I'm honest. This is a serious subject matter and also one that people don't generally like to talk about. In our youth obsessed society and medical miracles, we tend to stick our head in the sand until we are affected by the inevitable.
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Apr 30, 2012 1:32 PM CST Will you date/befriend someone who has cancer / terminal disease
Yes I would date someone who is terminally ill, everyone needs love and to go through something so traumatic they need someone who is supportive and loving. teddybear
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Apr 30, 2012 1:45 PM CST Will you date/befriend someone who has cancer / terminal disease
crazyblondeone: Yes I would date someone who is terminally ill, everyone needs love and to go through something so traumatic they need someone who is supportive and loving.
ill love rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
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Apr 30, 2012 1:46 PM CST Will you date/befriend someone who has cancer / terminal disease
ali110: ill love


Ali!!!
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Apr 30, 2012 1:47 PM CST Will you date/befriend someone who has cancer / terminal disease
crazyblondeone: Ali!!!
Hi wiseBlonde ,How r u ? hug
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Apr 30, 2012 2:04 PM CST Will you date/befriend someone who has cancer / terminal disease
Angelyca
AngelycaAngelycaPretoria, Gauteng South Africa2 Posts
yes by all means. we are all human beings and we each deserve to be loved and cared for. no one chooses to have terminal illnesses. we need to be considerate, compassionate and supportive.
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Apr 30, 2012 2:10 PM CST Will you date/befriend someone who has cancer / terminal disease
sexymammacougar1
sexymammacougar1sexymammacougar1Erskine, Minnesota USA1 Threads 2 Posts
caperock: You are browsing through C'S and want to connect with someone, but you notice they are suffering a terminal disease, not HIV, you..... go ahead and make contact, they might just write you into their will, you stay away, the emotional turmoil of saying goodbye to someone you know is just too much,
I once was married to a man who could of inherited a terminal disease, but eventually we divorced under different circumtances.
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Apr 30, 2012 2:28 PM CST Will you date/befriend someone who has cancer / terminal disease
lifeisadream
lifeisadreamlifeisadreamMexi Go, Mexico State Mexico156 Threads 20 Polls 16,713 Posts
Honestly I would not date a person with a terminal disease I could not handle it. I consider myself strong but when it comes to losing people that I love, that is just devastating and if I can avoid it I will.




Friendship? Yes, I could be a good friend.





bouquet
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68 Votes
2,662 Views
38 Comments
Created: Apr 2012
Last Viewed: 4 hrs ago
Last Commented: Jul 2012
Last Voted: Jul 2017

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