What would you do if you saw a man physically abusing a woman (girlfriend) in public? ( Archived) (45)

Dec 19, 2012 11:49 PM CSTWhat would you do if you saw a man physically abusing a woman (girlfriend) in public?
Austgirl71
Austgirl71Austgirl71Adelaide, South Australia3 Threads 3 Polls 9 Posts

What would you do if you saw a man physically abusing a woman (girlfriend) in public?(Vote Below)

- (To Vote: select an option above, then press this button)
Walk away its non of my business
7
7%
Call authorities even though it may be to late
38
38%
Stand there and watch
1
1%
She probably deserved it so good on him
0
0%
Get someone else to approach the situation
0
0%
Risk going over and doing what you can to stop him
47
47%
Step in but only if I had someone with me
6
6%
Total Votes
99
If you were out in public and you witnessed a guy slapping, pushing, yelling abuse, even throwing a woman to the ground would you feel ok about not doing something or would you risk stepping in to try and stop him?shock sad super
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Dec 20, 2012 12:11 AM CST What would you do if you saw a man physically abusing a woman (girlfriend) in public?
CapNemo
CapNemoCapNemoLongview, Texas USA6 Threads 599 Posts
tomcatwarne: I have been in this position, only to have them both turn on me and tell me to mind my own business.

Of course it would depend on the severity of the attack. If it was very serious I would restrain him. until she could get away.
I hope you're smarter than that.
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Dec 20, 2012 12:12 AM CST What would you do if you saw a man physically abusing a woman (girlfriend) in public?
tomcatwarne
tomcatwarnetomcatwarneOcean City, Plumouth, Devon, England UK289 Threads 7 Polls 17,106 Posts
CapNemo: I hope you're smarter than that.


What do you mean???
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Dec 20, 2012 12:19 AM CST What would you do if you saw a man physically abusing a woman (girlfriend) in public?
DaytonaDude
DaytonaDudeDaytonaDudeSouth Daytona, Florida USA33 Threads 3 Polls 2,403 Posts
I would do this...



...if I could laugh
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Dec 20, 2012 1:40 AM CST What would you do if you saw a man physically abusing a woman (girlfriend) in public?
Austgirl71
Austgirl71Austgirl71Adelaide, South Australia Australia3 Threads 3 Polls 9 Posts
To him or herrolling on the floor laughing laugh
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Dec 20, 2012 2:09 AM CST What would you do if you saw a man physically abusing a woman (girlfriend) in public?
Nikogas
NikogasNikogasMetro, Oregon USA46 Threads 5 Polls 4,037 Posts
tomcatwarne: What do you mean???

I didn't get it either, but I was in a bar some years ago when a guy had strolled in and saw a couple regulars arguing back and forth with some physical contact as well. The Man stepped in and the woman smacked him first and the man got a hold of him as the couple verbally and physically beat the man a pretty good beating for trying to get involved.
uh oh
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Dec 20, 2012 3:00 AM CST What would you do if you saw a man physically abusing a woman (girlfriend) in public?
jac379
jac379jac379pontyclun, South Glamorgan, Wales UK25 Threads 3 Polls 12,293 Posts
ali110: i will call police

What would the police do in Pakistan?
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Dec 20, 2012 3:05 AM CST What would you do if you saw a man physically abusing a woman (girlfriend) in public?
enyonamvi
enyonamvienyonamviGuangzhou, Guangdong China25 Threads 24 Polls 68 Posts
I WILL CALL THE COPS AND THEN I WILL GO OVER THERE TO HELP CALM HIM DOWN IF POSSIBLE BY DOING THAT I WILL BE BUYING TIME FOR THE COPS AT THE SAME TIME GIVING HIM DIVIDED ATTENTION, HE WILL TRY TO STOP ME FROM STOPING HIM FROM ABUSING HIS LADY teddybear rolling on the floor laughing
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Dec 20, 2012 3:23 AM CST What would you do if you saw a man physically abusing a woman (girlfriend) in public?
Austgirl71
Austgirl71Austgirl71Adelaide, South Australia Australia3 Threads 3 Polls 9 Posts
jac379: What would the police do in Pakistan?



rolling on the floor laughing giggle bowing jaw drop very happy
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Dec 20, 2012 4:00 AM CST What would you do if you saw a man physically abusing a woman (girlfriend) in public?
jac379
jac379jac379pontyclun, South Glamorgan, Wales UK25 Threads 3 Polls 12,293 Posts
The police wouldn't exactly break their necks to get to the scene of a crime such as this in this country and police handling of such events is a lot better than it used to be.

I also wonder from a couple of comments from the men here whether women intervening are less of a target than men. I worked for a women's refuge for a year as part of my degree course and volunteered for quite some time afterwards and also worked in temporary housing for (supposedly) ex-offenders. I never found getting inbetween a problem in terms of my own security.

I remember seeing a documentary on the phenomenon of "bystander apathy" where an experiment was set up: an incident was repeatedly set up in public where a man was attacking a woman who was obviously his "partner". Most people looked, but walked by, but I do remember one woman being filmed running full pelt at them shouting, "You can't do that! You can't do that!" and then splitting the "couple" before the researchers intervened. I felt it was enormously brave of her. I've always known at least on party when I've intervened.

Its interesting to note that most of the "bystander apathy" research was inspired by the case of Kitty Genovese:

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Dec 20, 2012 4:07 AM CST What would you do if you saw a man physically abusing a woman (girlfriend) in public?
tomcatwarne
tomcatwarnetomcatwarneOcean City, Plumouth, Devon, England UK289 Threads 7 Polls 17,106 Posts
jac379: The police wouldn't exactly break their necks to get to the scene of a crime such as this in this country and police handling of such events is a lot better than it used to be.

I also wonder from a couple of comments from the men here whether women intervening are less of a target than men. I worked for a women's refuge for a year as part of my degree course and volunteered for quite some time afterwards and also worked in temporary housing for (supposedly) ex-offenders. I never found getting inbetween a problem in terms of my own security.

I remember seeing a documentary on the phenomenon of "bystander apathy" where an experiment was set up: an incident was repeatedly set up in public where a man was attacking a woman who was obviously his "partner". Most people looked, but walked by, but I do remember one woman being filmed running full pelt at them shouting, "You can't do that! You can't do that!" and then splitting the "couple" before the researchers intervened. I felt it was enormously brave of her. I've always known at least on party when I've intervened.

Its interesting to note that most of the "bystander apathy" research was inspired by the case of Kitty Genovese:

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Dec 20, 2012 4:15 AM CST What would you do if you saw a man physically abusing a woman (girlfriend) in public?
Godsgift
GodsgiftGodsgiftEnnis, Clare Ireland251 Threads 13 Polls 10,040 Posts
I don't know. Probably nothing as I would have no idea what was going on between them. Again it would depend on severity but some women have openly admitted to me that they have gone out of their way to provoke fights. Other women such as Cheryl Cole are by their own admission just thugs. She beat her husband senseless though he didn't react. I would have.

I believe society needs to let go of this notion that all women are poor little victims. It is often not the case. Men are automatically blamed in any situation and this is wrong.

conversing
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Dec 20, 2012 4:16 AM CST What would you do if you saw a man physically abusing a woman (girlfriend) in public?
jac379
jac379jac379pontyclun, South Glamorgan, Wales UK25 Threads 3 Polls 12,293 Posts
Morning Tom, did you forget something? giggle
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Dec 20, 2012 4:17 AM CST What would you do if you saw a man physically abusing a woman (girlfriend) in public?
jac379
jac379jac379pontyclun, South Glamorgan, Wales UK25 Threads 3 Polls 12,293 Posts
Godsgift: I don't know. Probably nothing as I would have no idea what was going on between them. Again it would depend on severity but some women have openly admitted to me that they have gone out of their way to provoke fights. Other women such as Cheryl Cole are by their own admission just thugs. She beat her husband senseless though he didn't react. I would have.

I believe society needs to let go of this notion that all women are poor little victims. It is often not the case. Men are automatically blamed in any situation and this is wrong.

You've inspired me. idea
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Dec 20, 2012 4:17 AM CST What would you do if you saw a man physically abusing a woman (girlfriend) in public?
tomcatwarne
tomcatwarnetomcatwarneOcean City, Plumouth, Devon, England UK289 Threads 7 Polls 17,106 Posts
It is a difficult one as you are stepping into another man's territory if you interfere between husband and wife or long term partners, and it is a man's natural reaction to defend this. A women intervening is not considered an attack on his territory and is therefore tolerated more.

If the attack is a serious one I would try to restrain the male and reason with him, remembering the law only allows you reasonable force in these circumstances, and indeed in any circumstances.

Remember when dealing with certain types of personalities you may indeed put yourself in the position of serious harm.

I of course would not see someone really seriously injured but it is a difficult situation.
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Dec 20, 2012 4:43 AM CST What would you do if you saw a man physically abusing a woman (girlfriend) in public?
quitephil
quitephilquitephilcork, Cork Ireland10 Posts
Austgirl71: To him or her
i would slap him from there to japan
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Dec 20, 2012 4:49 AM CST What would you do if you saw a man physically abusing a woman (girlfriend) in public?
Boban1
Boban1Boban1bigplace, Central Serbia Serbia144 Threads 5 Polls 18,789 Posts
I`d get involved and give the guy a hand ...grin
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Dec 20, 2012 5:18 AM CST What would you do if you saw a man physically abusing a woman (girlfriend) in public?
Austgirl71
Austgirl71Austgirl71Adelaide, South Australia Australia3 Threads 3 Polls 9 Posts
Boban1: I`d get involved and give the guy a hand ...





Yeah I would to............. A back Hand!!!!!doh boxing

No two wrongs don't make a right.....scold
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Dec 20, 2012 5:20 AM CST What would you do if you saw a man physically abusing a woman (girlfriend) in public?
Austgirl71
Austgirl71Austgirl71Adelaide, South Australia Australia3 Threads 3 Polls 9 Posts
Boban1: I`d get involved and give the guy a hand ...





Yeah I would to............. A back Hand!!!!!doh boxing

No two wrongs don't make a right.....scold
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Dec 20, 2012 5:28 AM CST What would you do if you saw a man physically abusing a woman (girlfriend) in public?
jac379
jac379jac379pontyclun, South Glamorgan, Wales UK25 Threads 3 Polls 12,293 Posts
Austgirl71: Yeah I would to............. A back Hand!!!!!

No two wrongs don't make a right.....

Is that two wrongs don't make a right, or is it that it would be an ineffective means of containing the situation?

Its one thing expressing feelings away from a situation, its another actually dealing with it.

Would a back hander promote an effective message to the abuser?
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Dec 20, 2012 5:42 AM CST What would you do if you saw a man physically abusing a woman (girlfriend) in public?
Austgirl71
Austgirl71Austgirl71Adelaide, South Australia Australia3 Threads 3 Polls 9 Posts
jac379: Is that two wrongs don't make a right, or is it that it would be an ineffective means of containing the situation?

Its one thing expressing feelings away from a situation, its another actually dealing with it.

Would a back hander promote an effective message to the abuser?


Thats right reward the abuser........hug

No really reward the abuser......I like Massages....comfort roll eyes wink
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Dec 20, 2012 5:50 AM CST What would you do if you saw a man physically abusing a woman (girlfriend) in public?
Balles
BallesBallesdubai, Dubai United Arab Emirates377 Posts
If it happens in Dubai, I'll call the cops. But in my country I can't call them 'cause they'll only laugh @ me and maybe come to the scene after 2 months, drunk.. So I'll see if he has a weapon on him before stepping forward to help the girl. wave
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Dec 20, 2012 6:00 AM CST What would you do if you saw a man physically abusing a woman (girlfriend) in public?
tomcatwarne
tomcatwarnetomcatwarneOcean City, Plumouth, Devon, England UK289 Threads 7 Polls 17,106 Posts
Balles: If it happens in Dubai, I'll call the cops. But in my country I can't call them 'cause they'll only laugh @ me and maybe come to the scene after 2 months, drunk.. So I'll see if he has a weapon on him before stepping forward to help the girl.



What would happen if a woman abused a man in this manner
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Dec 20, 2012 7:47 AM CST What would you do if you saw a man physically abusing a woman (girlfriend) in public?
Balles
BallesBallesdubai, Dubai United Arab Emirates377 Posts
tomcatwarne: What would happen if a woman abused a man in this manner



If he's crippled?
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Dec 20, 2012 7:53 AM CST What would you do if you saw a man physically abusing a woman (girlfriend) in public?
tomcatwarne
tomcatwarnetomcatwarneOcean City, Plumouth, Devon, England UK289 Threads 7 Polls 17,106 Posts
Balles: If he's crippled?

You mean a woman wouldn't do that to a man there?
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Dec 20, 2012 8:17 AM CST What would you do if you saw a man physically abusing a woman (girlfriend) in public?
Balles
BallesBallesdubai, Dubai United Arab Emirates377 Posts
tomcatwarne: You mean a woman wouldn't do that to a man there?



A woman would only yell but won't physically attack a man. scold It's not in our nature to beat our men up even though we have huge muscles blushing blushing
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Dec 20, 2012 8:20 AM CST What would you do if you saw a man physically abusing a woman (girlfriend) in public?
tomcatwarne
tomcatwarnetomcatwarneOcean City, Plumouth, Devon, England UK289 Threads 7 Polls 17,106 Posts
Balles: A woman would only yell but won't physically attack a man. It's not in our nature to beat our men up even though we have huge muscles



vive l'arab womengrin grin grin grin thumbs up
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Dec 20, 2012 8:21 AM CST What would you do if you saw a man physically abusing a woman (girlfriend) in public?
I would be going to jail, and he would be going to the hospital! I would make sure that he would feel my anger towards cowards and my willingness to protect someone. A man that beats up a woman, isn't a man, but a f'ing coward.
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Dec 20, 2012 8:27 AM CST What would you do if you saw a man physically abusing a woman (girlfriend) in public?
montemonte
montemontemontemonteunknown, New Jersey USA114 Threads 4 Polls 5,631 Posts
Oregongold: I would be going to jail, and he would be going to the hospital! I would make sure that he would feel my anger towards cowards and my willingness to protect someone. A man that beats up a woman, isn't a man, but a f'ing coward.



I'll post the same thing I posted in the other thread.....

I'd rather be judged by 12 then see a man or woman buried by six who I could have saved.

The question of liability came up. I would rather take the chance of intervening and being charged with assault if I tried to physically break it up. Any court of law in the U.S. would see what I was trying to do and throw the charge out. Part of the problems in the world is people just "talk" about what should be done and then do nothing.
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Dec 20, 2012 8:34 AM CST What would you do if you saw a man physically abusing a woman (girlfriend) in public?
montemonte: I'll post the same thing I posted in the other thread.....

I'd rather be judged by 12 then see a man or woman buried by six who I could have saved.

The question of liability came up. I would rather take the chance of intervening and being charged with assault if I tried to physically break it up. Any court of law in the U.S. would see what I was trying to do and throw the charge out. Part of the problems in the world is people just "talk" about what should be done and then do nothing.


A friend of mine was beat to death in her apt and people looked thru the window. It was the same complex I lived in. I was at work, and I went off on them when I found out. If you are too much of a coward to get involved in rescuing someone, all I can say is I hope to those who don't help, don't need help one day. I get involved, and yes it FEELS GREAT to help out.
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Dec 20, 2012 8:56 AM CST What would you do if you saw a man physically abusing a woman (girlfriend) in public?
Aspenn
AspennAspennOuray, Colorado USA3 Threads 16 Posts
I can tell you what people did back when I was 22 and my boyfriend had my hair twisted around his one hand with my head pulled back to his shoulder, and with the other hand he had one of my arms twisted behind my back, pushing me down the side of a busy street to his apartment. People on foot stopped to stare and people in cars slowed down to stare. Not one person tried to help.
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Message #318

Stats for this Poll

99 Votes
2,315 Views
45 Comments
by Austgirl71 (3 Polls)
in Advice
Created: Dec 2012
Last Viewed: Apr 27
Last Commented: Jan 2013
Last Voted: Jun 2023

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