How to better educate your kids (85)
cristina: Hi Omurchu, hi Crota
Hi C Woman
omurchu22: A baseball bat and a water mellon ... Having a couple of wee gangsters myself i find putting the naughty childs hat on a watermellon and then smashing it with a baseball bat works really well
Sometimes i get carried away and use a machette .......
oh and also every child loves to be rewarded when theyve been good . so a polite word .a gentle caress or the placing of a hand on a shoulder works wonders
yes i was only idding about the baseball bat we call them hurleys here
Sometimes i get carried away and use a machette .......
oh and also every child loves to be rewarded when theyve been good . so a polite word .a gentle caress or the placing of a hand on a shoulder works wonders
yes i was only idding about the baseball bat we call them hurleys here
................hmmm ... interesting approach their MurphAries01: ................hmmm ... interesting approach their Murph
I do be kidding miss Diane (crossroads)omurchu22: I do be kidding miss Diane (crossroads)
.. I know 
..You educate children by example. As parents we have the responsibility to provide our children with a warm home environment, and we have to make them our priority in life. Children feel whether they are loved or if they bother....and no child should ever have to feel that. Also I think that most people, most adults that is, are too busy or wrapped up in their own responsibilities to stop and pay attention to what their children are really feeling. Are they happy? Have they had a good day at school? Are they warm enough? Or when was the last time you surprized your child with a really nice and unexpected gift? Or cooked his favorite meal just in time when he's returning home from school? Love is all that matters and we should never stop showing that to our children. They deserve that and so much more for brightening our otherwise quiet existence.
Conny, i know how much you love your children but love was not called here but how to reprehend
constanza: You educate children by example. As parents we have the responsibility to provide our children with a warm home environment, and we have to make them our priority in life. Children feel whether they are loved or if they bother....and no child should ever have to feel that. Also I think that most people, most adults that is, are too busy or wrapped up in their own responsibilities to stop and pay attention to what their children are really feeling. Are they happy? Have they had a good day at school? Are they warm enough? Or when was the last time you surprized your child with a really nice and unexpected gift? Or cooked his favorite meal just in time when he's returning home from school? Love is all that matters and we should never stop showing that to our children. They deserve that and so much more for brightening our otherwise quiet existence.
Very true.. even when I 'discipline' a child I would do so in a spirit of love and kindness like today for example I told the boys that I know how good they can be, explained exactly why they didn't get the treats and then expressed my confidence that they would we soooo good next week that its likely they will end up getting two treats... I hope I suceeded but my aim would never be to make a child feel bad or like a failure.... its just that kids normally know the score but will test the boundaries.. and see how far they can get...
cristina: Conny, i know how much you love your children but love was not called here but how to reprehend
I understand, but I feel that by loving them you are teaching them to love themselves and others thus you are helping them so much more. As far as direct reprehension, well, as much as we would like to protect them from making mistakes, sometimes they need to learn the hard way. Speaking to them about it is a good start; helping them understand where they exercised poor judgement and how that poor judgement has consequences. And last but not least, if they are old enough allow them to clean up their own mess after making a mistake, to help them learn responsibility.
Very true.. even when I 'discipline' a child I would do so in a spirit of love and kindness like today for example I told the boys that I know how good they can be, explained exactly why they didn't get the treats and then expressed my confidence that they would we soooo good next week that its likely they will end up getting two treats... I hope I suceeded but my aim would never be to make a child feel bad or like a failure.... its just that kids normally know the score but will test the boundaries.. and see how far they can get...[/quote
I have no doubt you are a wonderful with them.
I have no doubt you are a wonderful with them.
thanks Conny
Clean up their own mess if they are old enough. Which means that they need to have reasoning to be able to clean up their own mess. I thought so and i asked Turkish if that wasn't the best way, because otherwise the responsibility can be too heavy.
Clean up their own mess if they are old enough. Which means that they need to have reasoning to be able to clean up their own mess. I thought so and i asked Turkish if that wasn't the best way, because otherwise the responsibility can be too heavy.
And how about when they feel humiliated? They start crying too much and can't face no one...because they are hurt
cristina: And how about when they feel humiliated? They start crying too much and can't face no one...because they are hurt
Give them time to digest it all; no rush
cristina: And how about when they feel humiliated? They start crying too much and can't face no one...because they are hurt
Give them time to digest it all; no rush
cristina: And how about when they feel humiliated? They start crying too much and can't face no one...because they are hurt
whahaha
gotta go sleep girls, thanks for all
cristina: whahaha
ya mad thing.. good night sweetie.. good night Connie 
.. can't belieeeeeve I am still up!! me too Aries
Very interesting thread. Parents have a huge challenge these days. There are so many dangers online, yet you can't protect your kids from the bad things in the World forever, otherwise they will be completely unprepared when you die.
My daughter is 16. Until she was five, my ex and I were together. At that time we watched Dorotthy's every move, because she was so small, and we were living in Turkey. Since she didn't know the language, she could get into all sorts of trouble. Of course, being a fair blonde, it was easy to pick her out of the crowd. :)
After my divorce, Dorothy's mom continued watching her and making all decisions for her, to include choosing her clothes. By the age of 12, Dorothy began to rebel at this lack of any freedom. She and her mom had huge arguments, sometimes even violent (mostly from the mom's side). Dorothy was in counseling and taking eight different pills for depression, stomach aches, sleeping, etc.
After a year away in Korea, my work brought me back to the US. All of these problems were hidden from me until Dorothy came to visit me for the summer. By the end of the summer, Dorothy decided to live with me and her mom agreed.
Today she is a well-behaved young woman without any drugs to keep her happy. She has some stress from living in Poland the past two years with me, and all the cultural issues that involves, but she loves her life and is really enjoying the chance to see Europe. This Christmas I let her choose where we will go for holiday. She chose Dublin, since her mom is 75% Irish, and that is her heritage too as a result.
The key for me is that I had to give Dorothy freedom in small quantities and gradually teach her to make her own decisions. Four years ago, she didn't know which of her clothes matched, and I had to teach her so much from that point. Now she buys her own clothes, and she dresses very smartly for a young teen. She is making the good choices regarding boys, drugs, smoking and alcohol. She will eventually have a serious boyfriend, but now I am not worried when that day comes.
Still there are times she just counts on dad. I remeber once she called me when I was working in Norway. She couldn't find a taxi to go home. She had the number, but she wasn't confident enough with her Polish to order a cab. I ordered it, but then reminded her that she must learn to do every small thing for herself eventually, because I will not live forever (I am 30 years older than her). I told her my mobile phone will not have signal in my grave. Of course, she didn't like me teasing her, but sometimes I do that, and I know she will miss it later. ;)
Enjoy the holidays and enjoy your kids while they still are with you.
Nelson
My daughter is 16. Until she was five, my ex and I were together. At that time we watched Dorotthy's every move, because she was so small, and we were living in Turkey. Since she didn't know the language, she could get into all sorts of trouble. Of course, being a fair blonde, it was easy to pick her out of the crowd. :)
After my divorce, Dorothy's mom continued watching her and making all decisions for her, to include choosing her clothes. By the age of 12, Dorothy began to rebel at this lack of any freedom. She and her mom had huge arguments, sometimes even violent (mostly from the mom's side). Dorothy was in counseling and taking eight different pills for depression, stomach aches, sleeping, etc.
After a year away in Korea, my work brought me back to the US. All of these problems were hidden from me until Dorothy came to visit me for the summer. By the end of the summer, Dorothy decided to live with me and her mom agreed.
Today she is a well-behaved young woman without any drugs to keep her happy. She has some stress from living in Poland the past two years with me, and all the cultural issues that involves, but she loves her life and is really enjoying the chance to see Europe. This Christmas I let her choose where we will go for holiday. She chose Dublin, since her mom is 75% Irish, and that is her heritage too as a result.
The key for me is that I had to give Dorothy freedom in small quantities and gradually teach her to make her own decisions. Four years ago, she didn't know which of her clothes matched, and I had to teach her so much from that point. Now she buys her own clothes, and she dresses very smartly for a young teen. She is making the good choices regarding boys, drugs, smoking and alcohol. She will eventually have a serious boyfriend, but now I am not worried when that day comes.
Still there are times she just counts on dad. I remeber once she called me when I was working in Norway. She couldn't find a taxi to go home. She had the number, but she wasn't confident enough with her Polish to order a cab. I ordered it, but then reminded her that she must learn to do every small thing for herself eventually, because I will not live forever (I am 30 years older than her). I told her my mobile phone will not have signal in my grave. Of course, she didn't like me teasing her, but sometimes I do that, and I know she will miss it later. ;)
Enjoy the holidays and enjoy your kids while they still are with you.
Nelson
cristina: The world is getting more electronic and less human, ethical.
There are pics i see that don't convey any sort of emotion, just bodies...or bad shots
My ex feels sorry for not having had enough punishment from his parents, he said it would make a huge difference and that he envies his friends in that.
How should it be folks? How free should kids be?
There are pics i see that don't convey any sort of emotion, just bodies...or bad shots
My ex feels sorry for not having had enough punishment from his parents, he said it would make a huge difference and that he envies his friends in that.
How should it be folks? How free should kids be?
How about a "Don't do that because ..."
Try treating your children with the same respect that you treat and adult. You'll get much better results.
Children are little people they need respect and they should be taught by good example and told that is the best way to behave because..............
Tamarin: Children are little people they need respect and they should be taught by good example and told that is the best way to behave because..............
Good examples...
Some parents think that good examples are theoretical when they practice soemthing else. Som live with their children but have a single life, don't care a bit about their kids. Then when the kids act weird, they go to them with all the philosophy...
Yeah, give good examples with you want to educate them
Children also need boundaries, clear expectations and it leveled to their age understanding...good clear, moral adult examples etc... a holistic, nurturing and loving environment.
I always tell my son that every action has a reaction. If you drop a ball, a good action it will return to you to do again. If you drop an egg, a bad action, it will shatter your life. Then I show him the consequences of both actions. That is the problem with some of our kids today. How often are the real consequences of negative action revealed in the movies they watch. How often are they exposed to the sometimes disastrous outcomes of stupid actions. Around the age of 12 I sat my son down to watch "Cops", "Trauma, Life in the ER" and "Code Blue". You want to break the law, this is what the cops will do to you. "Trauma" and "Code Blue" are real life events in Emergency Rooms around the country. They are graphic and show real life events, including death. The world is a dangerous place, educating them about those dangers and the outcome will go along way in protecting them. I know, when I got my Auto learners permit my father put me on the Police towing squad as a volunteer. I later became an employee, towing collisions. That education taught me early and has stayed with me all my life. The best thing my father ever did, besides donating the spearm.
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