Yeah, that distance thing is a killer where it comes to potential relationships. I have seen profiles of many beautiful women on this site, but their homes are so far away that the most I am able to do is to flower them, with a compliment to their beauty. Sigh. Oh well.
I agree with most of what you have said. No one ever promised us that we are deserving of a happy life. Or of a miserable one. There are no guarantees in life, not even to life itself.
But for the rest, I agree 100%. Life is going to knock you down, time and time again. Take that deep breath, maybe hold yourself a pity party for a day or two. Then reach down deep inside and pull yourself up. It might take a little longer to do, after each time your are knocked down, but you can do it. And don't spend too long on those pity parties, because life can end in a flash -- so make the most of the moments you have.
I was once told that, if you look at a headstone in a cemetery, you will see the born on date and the died on date, but, that what is important is what happens in between the two dates.
I can see from your eyes that you have dealt with a fair amount of pain in your life. From the outward beauty to the inner love and compassion, I feel fairly certain that you will find someone. Maybe not that "perfect" someone, but somebody who will be a good fit for you, as you will be for him. Best of luck!
What I immediately picked up on with this thread is that there are many, many things that are important in the foundation of a good relationship. Give and take, good communication skills, including being able to truly "listen" to the other person. Honesty, loyalty, commitment, fidelity, even plain ol' common sense in your daily life.
I think it is equally important that some us have to learn these things the hard way, in order to truly appreciate each and every one of them. I learned the hard way, believe me.
I personally believe that your first love is your one "true" love -- everything after that first love is but a mere imitation. Usually the first love is the one you enter while you are still in a state of innocence. Life hasn't had a chance yet to hurt your ability or willingness to love. Later in life, you've probably been through a few relationships where you ended up being burned -- and thus are more defensive, more lacking in the willingness to trust.
My two cents. But keep on looking and you might get lucky and beat the odds.
First of all, you need to use a spell checker. Then brush up on your grammar. For an obvious gop'er, you exhibit a distinct lack of knowledge about politics.
A politician, of either party, will say and/or do whatever is required of them at any given time, depending on which direction the political winds are blowing.
And finally, there are many in the GOP that we could point to and accuse (in complete honesty) of being two-faced.
Whoops! Shame on me for not proofreading before hitting the post button. I meant to say "not to lose the love of family" not "lose the love of family".
You are your brother's keeper (or sister's). An old saying that still has validity today.
If your friend was indeed a very close friend, then you should have been able to politely, but firmly, say to that friend that at the moment you are really having problems trying to deal with something in your own life, which is taking all your available energy -- and you know that he/she will understand.
Be gracious in your inability to deal with your friend's problems. You never want to burn your bridges behind you, as they say. You never want to lose a friend, the same as you always want to lose the love of your family. Both are precious gifts to be cherished.
Kas14 has the right idea! When the right one comes along, you'll know it deep inside. The trust and commitment will come along with the person. And it will all feel just as natural and comfortable as can be.
This may be a bit on the simplistic side as a comment for you.
I was not as concerned with the religious subcategory as I was all of the examples you used to get to "Inspirational-ism".
To me, what you are saying is you need to love yourself, who you are and what you are, before you can be accepting of who and what other people are. Once you get to that point, all of life's challenges become opportunities. You get to where you can, at will, jump in and out of other people's shoes comfortably.
A good thought. Wish the rest of the world could get there, too.
Having raised difficult boys, I can attest to the challenges involved in setting limits, assigning consequences -- and standing by those limits and consequences. It really "is" a balancing act. But it is also a "very" necessary act. And it is also important to remember that after consequences have been handed down, that a child's behavior be reinforced by your love.
It gets more and more difficult, I found, as they get older. Different ages, different challenges. But always a balancing act.
I have one boy, now almost 37, who still acts out. He is bipolar and ADHD. What a combination! We are presently in the middle of a battle of wills, that has gone on for several months, without speaking to each other. I still send him emails letting him know I love him, but remind him that things will not change until his behavior changes.
I hope your classes continue to benefit you and your children.
I don't know that you are doing anything wrong. I have a number of chronic disabilities, among them a total right hip replacement, along with a broken right femur at the same time. So have been there and done that.
But, after looking at your picture, I can guess I'm a few years older than you, so I'm going to use my age as a magic wand of experience (I think God is still punishing me for my wanton ways during my youth!!).
IMHO, women, like men, first check out the package wrappings. Then if the wrappings are nice enough, then they concentrate on the package's contents. In that sense, your hip replacement is considered a deformity, in their eyes. Take a look at deer, for example. The biggest, baddest bucks are the ones who get to pass on their genes to the next generation. Cruel, but true.
Second most important in their eyes is security. A man who doesn't work full-time, or can't work at all, doesn't offer women the financial security they see as important. You wouldn't think that that would be important anymore, what with women's lib and all, but it really is.
I know all this is cruel, but man, I've been there. That doesn't mean that I don't occasionally try to get a seat at the table, so to speak, because I do. Keep trying because there "are" women out there who will accept you for who you are and not just reject you out of hand.
I believe I can somewhat relate to where you are at present.
I am 61 and have been disabled for ten years now. Before I had to stop working I was a property manager, responsible for sixty plus condo's and manager of three companies. The pace of life was fast and the stresses intense.
But I now find myself with nothing but time on my hands. I have met and accepted the finiteness of life in general and my own life in particular.
But more important, I view my disabilities as new opportunities. I have been given a second chance to view life as it is actually occurring around me. I now take the time when going down the road to see the beauty of a simple wildflower, the enchantment that a doe with two fawns hopping behind her can instill.
If I have "been turned out to pasture", it is a pasture that I will joyously graze on.
I am not a writer, never have been one and without doubt will never be one.
I can see you have a gift for words that you should be very proud of.
And let me know if you find a sister of this "Emolet", as I would surely like to meet her. Age may have slowed me down, but it has not stopped me altogether!
omgamike Blog Comments (44)
RE: Facts About Relationships
All very inspirational quotes, and all very true. Wouldn't it be fantastic to find your special person, imbued with all these traits?