Almera, I agree although I seriously doubt it that still grieving about a lost love, I will have the will to come to a dating site. At least I wouldn't be able. But yes, I would never start something with a man whose heart is still somewhere and not with me.
Some, I left your question for the final since the way I get it (what is a productive question) it is very important for me and one of the answers of this blog. For me, a productive question (attitude) is the one which search for useful answers. What are useful answers? Answers which give knowledge and develop. Answers which lead to more questions. Exploring instead of asking rhetoric questions which lead to nowhere.
Richard, you are absolutely right, but again the blog is not about negativity, just about the illusions we impose to us and other people pretending that we are naive silly kids. Yes it might make us cute, helpless, and romantic but actually, especially at a age after 30, it might seem ridiculous. And not productive
Still, of course, you are right. As I said, I am a person that doesn't like to be real. If I could, I would be constantly out of reality, but it always drags me down.
Papermate, I don't stress on the negativity, on the contrary, I say that YES, YES, YES thing need to be balanced sometimes by a realistic NO. And again, I am a very optimistic person but I detest silly questions, including mine.
Viking, your question is intended to be very smart and hinting as all your postings, right? If you read again my blog and comments you will see that I include myself among the people who ask silly questions for the quoted by you reasons.
You see, my thought was not about taking/giving love, I have heaps to give. It is about reality and pretending we don't know it. Yes illusions often do great work, but sometimes they are annoying.
Some, I agree, and I said it on my comment to Zandaar too. Yes we need the YES, YES, YES thing. But sometimes YES has no sense anymore and makes us blind for reality. When I ask "Will I meet my Prince?" and 101 comments say (out of courtesy, pity, politeness) YES, it may encourage me a bit and will maybe play the role of a group mantra/prey. Hmm, but I don't see it as a productive question...
Common Almera, where to heal if not here No worries, I think we can't date anyone seriously if we aren't healed. Just impossible. Also we aren't literally "ill". For example, I don't overcome some relationship, love or so. We just need some time to look around and in ourselves. And while doing it we may find some similar soul...
Seriously: Socializing with people here, publicly and privately, help me to get to know who I am and what do I want from myself and life. Also, CS blogosphere, being a small model of the society, improves my social skills. Third, I get to know things about relationships, men and women, love etc. Last but not least, I met some interesting men here...
No problem Primavera, thank you for the details and of course, you have to be proud with this writer and novel! I have read 2 or 3 other novels of him but this one is definitely the best...
Almera, you are absolutely right, but actually my blog's idea was to extend this particular situation (about questions on the blogs which annoy me) to some more general topics: about dreams and reality, naivety/silliness and reality, pretending/hiding from the truth, etc.
To tell you the truth, when I am not busy with some practical things I like burying my head in the clouds and dream and think of things far from reality. Together with reading this is my ultimate escape from the "unbearable lightness of being" (quote from a famous writer). :) Sometimes therefore I need the shock of the "No" to balance myself.
Still, which problem? Of being merciless? I think reality often hurts but we d better admit the real thing from time to time, not play the fool and flirt with silly dreams.
Shay, if you read the blog of Market about organizing a murder game here, you would know :) Then he chose me to be the murderer and I chose to "kill" Rummy. As nobody found out who was the murderer (me) despite of the clues Market gave, he asked me to reveal it was me.
No-Answer: Back to Reality
Conga, your both statements are absolutely right. Thank you!