Very well said...... Yes..... walking wounded isn't easy .... it never was ....
Walking alone for some times is okay ...... you can't go from one to another ..... just leads to the next another ....
Walking alone for a long time - doesn't make you stronger ..... you become weak again ......
Walking alone longer - and you find out it's out of reach - what you actually want so bad.....
Walking even longer breakes you down .....
I have reached a point .... where I don't trust my heart ..... only make wrong choises ......
and after you reach a certain age - it's more than hard and difficult to ask for more than a company or friendship.... LOVE .... well ....
When I finally had the chance - after some very difficult times .... I still had the hope .... But after 6 years I realize ...... well..... only maybe .... and this maybe is very, very little.....
So my advice can only be: Find love while you have an age .... when it is possible ...... to make it for reall...... Be kind to yourself ...... treat your partener good ..... goes bouth ways ....
Give room for each other ..... also "alone time" ther must be room for...... Trust ..... respect .... and understand each other ..... Respect for the ones you are .... for who you are.... and of course be willing to make the compromises needed ....... But don't turn your relationship into a compleete compromise ..... Cos then you make the beginning for sad times to come ......
Just some small thoughts ..... here ... a lot of people really dislike what I say - because they have a strong belief - that "Youth" will last - wich it doesn't .....
Best wishes - hope your love will last - and you are happy deep in your heart....
Some days ago, I sat here with a very young girl... Her family are fugetives from Afganistan.... They live here in Denmark - try to make their living - try to fullfill just some of their dreams... Their father once worked in the Police in Kabul - but after he legally shoot a Taliban - his friends told him, he and especially his family wasn't safe any more... and a long journey begann....They ended up here in Denmark.. But really - they don't feel they are welcome at all..
Well back to love.... I know some of the kids in the family, they come here on my boat and we have nice times.. Then once asked me if I ever had been in love.... Oh I said yes !
Then she asked me, young men here in Dk - very quickly say "I love you" - and she cannot understand.... that someone can say that after 15 minutes... Oh I answered - they do not mean that at all.... But it's their way of telling you, they like the way you look, the sight of your sweet eyes... and sure thei'd like to know you....
Well,, she answered - isn't it then false speeking ?? Well maybe, you can say that, I replied...
Then she asked me, if I ever had said those words to any one..
and I said yes..... but only once in my life, and it's man years ago.... Because I'd only say them, when I truely feel with all my heart - it's true..... you can have close feelings - you might want to have a relationship... But true love is only when you feel it, with all your body, all your heart and deep in your soul... and want to do evrything together... respect the differences.... and try and understand each other ....
Oh she said.... Why do the young men then allways say that...?? when they don't mean it ?? I replied... it's a matter of speeking - and knowing what the words really mean... and choose your words... Something rare - theese days..
Oh - she speeks good Danish - but has to learn much more... Especially the way of behaving here... Where people mostly really are coldhearted...
It is so nice when some one finally reaches what makes life worth living ..... Have a great time - and enjoy it to the fullest...
I believe it's because - a lot of women go for the broadsmiling man with a Macho look - and don't look for the men who have their hearts - in what they want and do....
I am not a bad guy - but I tell things as hey are..... Allso here in the forums..... But the truuth is ... a lot of women don't like it...... They want the type of man, who can "handle evry little problem" - a guy "who's sooooo happy - the lady, who shows attention - allready have 3 kids -and don't want any more" so they can live the life - without that kind of trouble...Wow..... great !!! But what's there left for a man there ???? if he really dreams about having a family ???? and not just to "have a good time".....
A lot of men are very serious - and know what matters the most in life...
I'd first of all look deep into your eyes.... Then ask you if you allowed me to hold your hand....
Then I'd invite you for a walk - maybe at the beach ... I live beaches... Listen to you... after telling you - to let me a bit into your own universe..
Then I'd hope you and I could have a cup of coffee - somewhere..
Just hoping - we bouth felt it nice to be close...
I have had more Russina mail friends over the years,,, Nice people - mostly, very few asked for money - I must say...
The bigproblem, is the distance.. Lately I had some very nice and friendly, With a very nice woman from Russia - but as we bouth knew... We couln't meet because of the distance... So after a while we stopped..
But I would not have any problem - if it was possible.. In the little city where I have my boat - one of the sailors there is married to the loveliest Russian woman... You'd ever could want...
I have a good friend in Sweeden - He has just married to a very Lovely woman from Ukraine... They have know each other for a long time.... The good thing for him, is he had more money than I have, so it was possible !!
I just read your blogs.... wanted to send you a mail... Telling you - that you are not alone. But I would have liked to send you a personal mail, instead of this where evryone can read my thoughts... Have tried that before,, in a thread - but as "usual" the threats turns into something, very different... And ends in jokes!
I can recognize all your feelings, have long given up myself... For what I wish... - But it is not good for a soul to give up dreams... The reall dreams that keeps you alive.. And make you want to get up in the morning - and be happy another day is born..
But why doesn't it happend ? One says in his comment... Go local... Hope it is possible for you..
In this superficial country where I live, it's compleete nonsense even to try that.. Dating is here something, for the admired young ones, under the age of 40.... And when you pass the 50.. No one will listen to you at all.. The pure truuth... The best you can obtain, is a kind of friendship..
Ohh oh .. I know very well, the romatic stories, told by magazins or even sometimes on tv... That this couple meet at the age of 75.. and are now the happiest couple ever..... Well, most of theese stories are just painted pictures, of something that's not true... The truuth is, that the living costs are so high here, that you cannot make you a life worth living, unless - you where able to save up, for a good pension, when you where young..
The normal peoples pension, we once had, has been dimminshed so much in value - because our government some years ago, made it affordable (if you had money enough for it) to save up for yourself... Because they wanted to change the ideology of our country... We earlier had build our values on...
I could go on and on.. But there is not much fun in that story... I wish you the best, hope you'll find a little worth living for.... Bernard
Cowhand Blog Comments (11)
Am not shy AT ALL...... The fact is - Girls don't want an older reliable man - someone they can count on... someone who'd be there - ...
RE: Walking Wounded?
Walking alone for some times is okay ...... you can't go from one to another ..... just leads to the next another ....
Walking alone for a long time - doesn't make you stronger ..... you become weak again ......
Walking alone longer - and you find out it's out of reach - what you actually want so bad.....
Walking even longer breakes you down .....
I have reached a point .... where I don't trust my heart ..... only make wrong choises ......
and after you reach a certain age - it's more than hard and difficult to ask for more than a company or friendship.... LOVE .... well ....
When I finally had the chance - after some very difficult times .... I still had the hope .... But after 6 years I realize ...... well..... only maybe .... and this maybe is very, very little.....
So my advice can only be: Find love while you have an age .... when it is possible ...... to make it for reall...... Be kind to yourself ...... treat your partener good ..... goes bouth ways ....
Give room for each other ..... also "alone time" ther must be room for...... Trust ..... respect .... and understand each other ..... Respect for the ones you are .... for who you are.... and of course be willing to make the compromises needed ....... But don't turn your relationship into a compleete compromise ..... Cos then you make the beginning for sad times to come ......
Just some small thoughts ..... here ... a lot of people really dislike what I say - because they have a strong belief - that "Youth" will last - wich it doesn't .....
and the fun part is finally over ......