Stargazer111 Blog Comments (287)

Expectations. Part 1

Awwwww thanks

Expectations. Part 1

@ Robbyreal ,

Yes, it seems that we are finally in agreement despite the initial criticism or "constructive criticism"

As always, will try to be the best of myself , if the other feels to be the worst of themselves and doesn't make at least any effort of some substantial conversation or doesn't really care or in reality doesn't give about me, I guess as with the last one, it's going to be the first and last one (if I ever reach that stage of wanting to meet or meeting in person with a person chatting with online).

Can I have some of your omellette please or have you eaten all of it by now.

Thanks.

Expectations. Part 1

@ Johnjjm ,

Thank you for comment John. So, based on your comment you expect to "see something in your common" in your first date with a woman otherwise you have "a lucky escape".

Sounds to me a reasonable and realistic expectation to have.

Cheers

Expectations. Part 1

@ Deedee ,

Thumbs up and way to go girl for "If i dont meet someone..then i will make that a reality by myself...either way ill make sure ill win.love".



What you describe to me it sounds like falling in love and hope you do meet and fall in love with the person you described in your comment.

Who knows?. Maybe 2018 is your year!

I think it's quite difficult a romantic person not to romanticise especially when they keep chatting online and not meeting in person with who they are chatting so, I think the way you described earlier " a meeting early on" and "the sooner the better" the equivalent mentioned by me is really the best way forward in this case.

I had forgotten completely what led me to "the sooner the better" as long as it is safe and established that it is safe to meet in person of course.

That was me getting into a bubble and just flying high into the space, dreaming and dreaming , hoping and hoping. Until the bubble burst and landed or crashed back to earth.

Again, really hope you find what and who you are looking for

Expectations. Part 1

@ Robbyreal ,
I have no doubt that you have a very eloquent and gifted writing style...albeit a but in the academic side....grin

Thank you for your nice words/compliments. Yes, it is "acamedic" and at least it used to score highly!

Nothing wrong with this on this dating site, is it?.

It is great to have your and rest people's perspective and the perspective of both men and women on this site.

So, I am very greatful to all who contributed in this.

A man with no unrealistic expectations for the first date with an open, flexible mindset is always very attractive to me

I am wondering how expectations can be changed to hopes and I'm thinking that it is unrealistic and way too high that are very difficult or impossible to be reached by a normal Hunan that lead to (massive) "disappointments" and that, there are also false hopes and hopeless hopes.

So, I guess or I'm thinking that the solution to this is to be realists and have realistic expectations and hopes, not hopeless or false hopes or unrealistic or way too high expectations that cannot be reached or are impossible or way too difficult to be reached by a normal human.

What do you think about this?.

Concerning the typos/spelling mistakes,

I never bother with typos and not here to be checking and correcting people's spelling mistakes especially when they write in a rush and everyone would have made typos/spelling mistakes if they did the same.

What were you cooking?.

Expectations. Part 1

@ Solamente ,

"If you have come to know the person well online then should'nt be a problem. Never was was for me."

Yes, I agree you should go ahead and meet in person and real life. For a normal person that should not be a problem I think but, what are your expectations in regards to a first date with a woman?.

Do you have any expectations prior to a first date offline and with someone you met online and if yes, what are these?.

I think it's quite rare someone not to be having any expectations at all.

What do you think?.

Expectations. Part 1

@ Krinka ,

I still can't understand why the recorded messages when you can speak on the phone.

I did say "hello" to a recorded message to a guy because that is what the guy insisted in me doing to which I gave in.

I better not say publicly what kind of recorded message I received by him afterwards!

Everyone can just let their imagination run wild

But, after the recorded message sent back to me, never again...don't give in again in the case anyone insists.

I'm usually the one who takes the initiave for a call.

Expectations. Part 1

@ Wen ,

Star, I see nothing wrong with your blog, I think it is interesting.

Thank you Wen!

Expectations. Part 1

I find the previous hopes from the one hand, expectations from the other hand, pretty much realistic.

Especially when taking into consideration or having in mind and cross checking these with the expectations of guys in the private message service and in regards to a first date offline and in real life.

Expectations. Part 1

@ Krinka ,

This is a response to your answer to my subsequent questions to you....

In regards to your date mentioned..."a very negative person who constantly criticises everything and everyone"...

Gosh! Jeeeeeeesssuuuuusss!

No doubt "those couple of hours with him were tremendously exhausting and not pleasant".

Unfortunately, the negativity of someone and the criticism of everything and everyone may or is not visible in just 1-3 calls and I think it's a bad idea to meet with someone you just chatted on the phone just once.

I had and have many hours of calls usually for weeks prior to meeting or making a decision of meeting in person (if it ever reaches that stage).

My last date lasted less than an hour, it was more than boring and less than an hour was simply more than enough for me to decide not to go on a second date.

Yes, I do have the same expectations instead of hopes that you do.

Of liking each other enough to go on a second date and to " have a pleasant couple of hours with someone ".

I think must better to hope than to expect, how someone changes expectation to hope now, I really have absolutely no idea.

Expectations. Part 1

@ Deedee ,

I absolutely agree with meeting as soon as possible, of course after you made sure that it is safe to meet in person with the specific person and preferably in a public place for the first time.

"The sooner the better" as long as both are in the same country of course or "the sooner the better is possible" due to both being in the same country.

There are many cases of people I've met who are not planning to meet with anyone in real life or date anyone, just to be chatting online endlessly for years whenever they feel like it or want to pass their time.

You mentioned a meeting early on so as to avoid expectations reaching high, obviously unrealistic expectations.

Have you ever found yourself in this situation and if yes, do you not think that the other part (person) did play a role in it through for example , not being clear enough or instilling false hope or expectations through their behaviour?.

If you hit it off with someone online and agreed to meet in person and have a date, at the present stage in your life, do you have any expectations on an emotional level prior to this first date and for this?.

If yes, what are these?.

"i would much rather a bottle of wine and a stroll on the beach and sit somewhere watching the world go by sipping wine and chatting."

Hmmmmm

Expectations. Part 1

@ Krinka & Wen ,

I feel nervous just by reading you being nervous for the first meeting guys...

I always loved interviews and did very well, quite the opposite of how I was doing in writing(presenting myself).

Krinka...recording 20 times a message , why not give a direct call?.

I always had a problem with cameras, once the camera turned towards me, I simply froze.

My first video call is still unbelievable to me.

No problems with calls whatsoever, I'm just excited and glad to know a bit more about the other person and have a better understanding of another through a call, hearing the way someone says what they say, voice and tone of voice.

Expectations. Part 1

@ Robbyreal ,

No, I'm definitely not writing a thesis about dating sites and it has never crossed my mind to write one about dating sites.

Thank you for your feedback in regards to my writing style. I will read again and see whether this blog has to be edited or not.

Expectations is a very vast subject as previously expressed in this blog reason why part of the title was "part 1".

Expectations part 1 deals only with those expectations someone may have prior to going on a first date in real life with someone they met online, hit off and agreed to go on a date.

I did not wish to ask what you said that I could so I did not.

Despite your criticism of or feedback about my writing style, based on your answer to the question of this blog, you do sound like an ideal man to go on a date with

I want to ask you , in the case that a second date or even more dates was/were taken place, if you having no expectations helped in securing these (made it easier).

Just waiting for your further criticism of me

Expectations. Part 1

Hi Krinka ,

I agree on being a hostess when someone is visiting from another country most possibly not knowing the town/city/country visiting and your plan or way of going about the matters that also represents me.

You also sound quite flexible with practical matters such as place of meeting and not having any or much expectations of where you will meet or what (dinner, coffee, drink etc.).

Nothing wrong with what you mentioned whatsoever and glad that you pointed in the beginning of this comment that "you are not sure if you understood the question" .

Your comment does come under and within the subject of this blog which is "expectations" that seems to be understood in this case perfectly well.

It can be any expectations but,

I am mostly interested in emotional expectations if any.

So, my question to you is, if you do not mind answering of course,

On an emotional level, deep inside your heart , do you have any expectations?

If yes, what are these?.

Someone may have no expectations at all (to have a good time, to like the person they will meet in person for the first time in real life as they do online etc.), which I really don't think as you must have noticed in my previous comment that I belong in this category, only wish I did.

I'm asking what assigns to you and the rest reading this

Expectations. Part 1

@ Wen ,

"hopefully everything we thought in our mind would be true.", the part of your comment I made reference to, found from your comment, copied and pasted here (when I could finally see it from my phone )

Expectations. Part 1

Hi Wen ,

You must be talking about "butterflies in your stomach" in regards to you being nervous even if you chatted extensively online.

I did have dates in real life with a couple of guys I've met online in the past and I must say that even though we chatted extensively online and on the phone for weeks and many hours prior to meeting each other in person, it took me a very long time to get used to their physical presence and talking to them face to face and in person.

Don't know if you or anybody else had a similar experience to mine above.

My hope is to hit it off as we hit off online, my expectation is to meet in person a gentleman.

Someone who behaves as such not someone who presents a fake persona and image or what I want just to get or go out on a date with me then, come over and behave as completely the opposite of what he presented own person to be.

I guess this is related or part of "what we both had in mind" in your comment.

Sorry can't see your comment or have this in front of me while I write this from my phone.

But, my expectation based on what I said is truthfulness.

Expectations. Part 1

@ Berry ,

Happy waking up! Yes sure to simplify more, your expectations in regards to your first date offline (and in real life) with someone you met online (on a dating site), hit off & agreed to go on this first date(meet in person and in real life), IF ANY.

RE: Friends & Acquaintances

Very true, I agree with it.

RE: Friends & Acquaintances

@ Catfoot,

Meeting any person in real life, 100 or 1000 times or even for years does not necessary makes them "a friend".

RE: Friends & Acquaintances

@ Catfoot,

I can identify with friendships starting after a fight but, definitely not physical ones, just verbal confrontations that with my loud voice are heard about 1/2 km away at least and by all in the area that time.

The good thing is that I never result in swearing or accept any swearing of me.

It is a fact that this international site just gives us the opportunity to connect with different kind of people all over the world that we would not even known of the existence of any of them in this life and world.

In addition to this, someone can exchange ideas, share experiences even get a worthwhile opinion on a specific matter that troubles one.

However , not everybody does this or is here on this site with this purpose and reason why.

Not that they should, just clarifying that what was previously mentioned is not the rule but simply as witnessed and experienced by me on this site, just the exception to a rule and opposite to this rule.

I guess we all pick up and choose what suits us as persons.

Have a good day Monday!

RE: Friends & Acquaintances

Hey Mimi, lovely heart ,

RE: Friends & Acquaintances

*international site.

RE: Friends & Acquaintances

Good morning Catfoot ,

I think I have been lucky enough to discover and meet a lovely person on this international to whom I'm referring to usually when spoken to others as "a potential friend in real life".

So happy , pleased and content about it.

The Fool

Good morning Krinka and hope that you are well ,

Your study of the Japanese language is definitely rare for me in all people met from all continents and worldwide other than Japan(in person and real life).

If I ever decide to visit Japan I now know who I want to ask to join and come with me

I am definitely not and do not consider myself to be religious but, spiritual.

This blog comes under spirituality not religion but, everyone of course if free to see this in whatever way they want.

Glad to hear about your further advancement! Keep going!

The Fool

@ Vierkae ,

Thank you Vierkae. Well, as you read in my blog , I haven't read a book for 6-7 years now and "Dhammapada" would be the first one I would be picking since the last time I read one.

You are very welcome to participate in the future blog about the meaning if you want.

I can perfectly understand the meaning of your words "life shift in writing" and did have a similar experience with the meaning I understand this words.

Not an experience in writing books that are published and out on the market though.

I have been writing for many years now but, I've never consider publishing any of what has already been written.

Are you a published writer?.

Faro as you described it or the resort you've been to recently that is exactly how it is where I'm currently at, harbor, fort, lots of rocks.

Do you remember any names of resorts you visited in Faro?.

For Americans, Portugal as far as I know, it's a straight easy street to come over, no visa requirements whatsoever based on special agreement.

Someone can just head to the airport, get themselves into the plane and that's it!

The Fool

Deedee,

Yaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!


That's perfect! Yes, it's going to take a few days to be delivered if you ordered from the internet but, would be there

Deedee, you have already read "The Fool" from here, without the book being there...

So, you have already reached to "The Fool".

Yes, please do be back!

The Fool

@ Krinka,

Hello ,

Concerning the commentary of 'Dhammapada'...OK! I will open the link you send me from a computer and have a look at it-sounds very good!, thanks for letting me know

That's weird what the professor of Western philosophy said...devaluing and putting down Chinese philosophy...most plausibly it regarded own person.

Irrelevant to this "weird" professor, if you don't mind me asking, what course were you doing that the western philosophy classes were part of?.

Concerning the "comprehensible old Greek philosopher"... Yup! That's my guy!!

I've written your recommendation " A short History of Chinese Philosophy " down on my list along with the rest recommendations here and when I have more time will find and add to my library.

That's great to hear about your "advancement on Dhammapada"! ...excellent!

Thanks for the update and information.

By the way, Deedee decided to join and is also joining the reading.

Take care.

The Fool

@ Akash ,

The Fool

@ Deedee,

Very sorry for the delay in responding your valuable comment,

You are very welcome

Trilogy....Wow...!!!

I would make sure to choose the second part of it, if I decide to read "Roll of thunder hear my cry" as you let me know.

Thank you.

By the way, Krinka wished that "more people join the reading of Dhammapada".

I made a reference to you in the previous comment saying " Deedee ..
may also want to join the reading..." but seriously, no pressure for, as previously mentioned, everybody would be able to comment if they want to, without reading a page.

Some flowers for you

The Fool

@ Krinka,

Very sorry for the delay in responding your valuable comment,

Wow!

What an interesting and fascinating thing you mentioned about Dhamapada in Serbian and book you found.

"That is, each verse is followed by a story that explains it, with an example ".

Suddenly, I wish I could understand and speak Serbian....

Can you explain " with an example " a bit further please, what you mean exactly?.

Could you please bring this(explanation of the story) forward when the first story is brought forward, if and in the case, this regards the meaning of the verses of it?

In addition to this, come up with your own meaning, the meaning that you assign to each verse you read irrelevant to the explanation of the story , "with an example".

That is very true about the English version of Dhammapada, "it is just verses".

It would be very interesting to read the verses of each story , try to come up with your explanation or meaning then, look at the explanation.

"A philosophy forum" is my dream forum , I've always wanted to join one but, never did.

Could you please send me some information privately about how to join the philosophy subforum you mentioned that you were a member of?.

Are you still a member of it as I assume you are?.

If there's the requirement of having to read the book, I really have no time to read any more books than this one over here but, if there is no such requirement, I want to join a philosophy discussion right away (even just by listening/reading if I don't know/understand the concept or subject or have nothing to say).

I followed classical studies and studied philosophy for almost 3 years between the ages of 15-almost 18 but, really don't remember anything from it.

Only that I loved it and was fascinated by mostly concepts and ideas I couldn't understand and of course, breaking my head to understand.

In regards to your question "how many people can one find in his surroundings who are interested in reading Dhammapada?".

Nobody I spoke to or discuss books knew of this book to be honest but, currently, there are a half dozen ( I am aware of) reading the same time as you are reading.

Deedee may also want to join the reading...

Some flowers for you