You see, i am happy by myself. When I was with him, i am happy when we were together. But when we are not, it feels like he forgets I exist. And I want to be happy with the relationship everyday, and not only on the days that he decide he has the time for me.
Its difficult. Maybe this is a lesson of self control? Where I have to learn say no to those that are not good for me no matter how much I want it?
Indeed it is a sad world where people suddenly get amnesia. Or she has different personality when she did what she did. Or she was possessed or something. But as What our common friend told me. She did it on purpose. Because she was there when our friend said that she would do it.
Then now she asked if i thought she was the one who did it. I wonder if she ever feels guilt. I feel sorry for her.
I understand that westerners mostly are used to people who are untrue and tainted. Goodness of heart is being laughed at as naivety. And kindness is thought of as an act.
I am not the cleanest most righteous person. But i try to the best i can to live by what I believe to be true and right. Where my goal is kindness and purity of heart. That is my weakness but that also is my strength.
Hi Lafonda I am kind and usually, very patient. I don’t usually judge people because i get judged a lot and i know how it feels. I tolerate things that I can, but I have limits. Disloyalty is one of the hard non negotiable limit.
Hello Taimoore I felt bad when I decided to distance myself from her. But sometimes, i have to choose myself as well. Thank you
Thank you for always giving me a different perspective Johnny. You’re always kind and understanding. Thank you. I take your words to heart with consideration.
Im straightforward. However I don’t think i would welcome her again in my life. Not after what she did. Loyalty is essential for me. And ive had enough.
So, no. It’s not worth the effort or time. I’ll just rant once in a while. But not not really waste energy into fixing the relationship.
I was the only one who actually took the time to get to know her and keep her as a friend. She has good qualities. However the vile qualities she has outweigh whatever good I’ve seen in her. It was toxic. So yeah, i think somehow, it was God’s way to remove me from toxicity.
One can be strong and firm in one’s leadership, or on how you show yourself to others and still be kind. Being mean is never a measure of being strong.
Im sorry about that nurse who died. And thank you for your uplifting words. I try my best to not blame myself. And keep a positive attitude towards all this.
I am just happy to be better now physically and emotionally.
To be honest, I’m more hurt about the gossip she spreads than accusing me of giving them the virus. I straightforward told her sorry if I was the one who gave it to them. As much as I can, i will help in whatever way. Even offered my slot for admission so she can admit her son instead of me. But she refused as the doctor said the boy didn’t need it because they didn’t have symptoms.
I thought she was my friend. I opened up to her about fragile stuff that I never let anyone else know. I trusted her. And to learn that she was silently waiting for me to fall was hurtful. Anyway, the pain will go away. I wish her contentment and good sleep despite of things she’s said and done.
@JimNastics To be honest i was barely surviving the hospital food. Its a good thing my friends send me food everyday. Mostly I live off of apples and juice. Thank God the worst is over. Thank you
@raphael119 Hi, the vaccine was given 2 weeks prior. It was AZ CoviShield. I am tge one who did my own swab, I'm sure I did it correctly. And the symptoms the I am experiencing tells me that this is not at all false positive because I've never been this sick my entire life.
It is also possible that it was the reason I got Covid then. After getting the vaccine, I was just stressed and couldn’t sleep enough. At times I will only have 2 hours of sleep. My immune system suffered.
Well I remember the days when many blogs here were more about personal experiences. And very little about politics. Not that Im complaining. But yeah, im more interested in people’s personal testimonies than politics. Haha
Will post more when im not very busy at work Rose. See you around
@Rosehipster It sounds like fiction aka made up, but it isn’t. I wish to dream something like this again tonight. The good feeling lasted the whole day.
Lukeon will come back. They all always do. Some just stay in the shadow for a while for private reasons.
missChelli Blog Comments (152)
until the last sentence. 
Stay or Walk Away?
https://youtu.be/v3qOmgTfscg