BD, bitter facts is i can't go there and you can't come here. small as the internet suggests, distance is a problem. would you want anything else than honesty from me? i respect you more
from experience, i wouldn't allow romantic ifs to blur the reality. i did that. i would meet as soon as possible to get a real feel of the dynamics. a week should do it and it's much cheaper in the long run. it's better to meet with less investment. less lost
RE: When your lover/fiancée/wife finds out you did a background check on her...
if you need a background check. end it.