Someone in my own family lost their dog when it was killed by a car three years ago. The dog was her "heart dog". I saw her change drastically and still to this day she is a very different person than who she was before her dog died. She has two new dogs but no dog will ever take the place of her heart dog.
My husband died of alcoholism, however I'm not afraid of men who drink or who might have one too many. And if they had an excessive amount of alcohol I don't have a problem of walking away from them.
At the same time if a man asked me for money to pay for parking (an example) I would be afraid that he's another one on the hunt for a woman with money.
My tentacles stand up straight when money is in the picture.
It's much easier to not even try to find someone to be a companion to. Too many things are in the way. He would also have standards that he doesn't want a woman who is as uptight as I am.
Suppose a man or woman went through a difficult divorce. Let's use one gender....the man. He fights hard in the divorce to keep at least half of what he has worked for all his life but his wife's attorney is very good in knowing how prove to the court to force him to pay severely high child support. This is an example of why he might not want to get into another relationship in fear that it could happen again.
My own example. I knew someone in high school that I had a crush on. Many, many years after graduation I saw him on Classmates dot com. We talked and eventually got together. I loved him beyond the measure of deep love. He wasn't destitute but he complained a lot about not having enough money to pay bills. I fell for it and sent him money to the tune of MANY thousands of dollars. I flew to the state where he lives for Christmas and when I got on the plane to go back home I didn't know that I would never see him again. He didn't do or say anything while I was at his house to give me the impression that he was done with me. Now I am gun shy that it could happen to me again and therefore resolved myself to never taking another chance.
I truly believe my fear is warranted because it wasn't a reality tv show. It was real.
It is instinct but it's also experience. When we see a red flag that produces a gut feeling we need to trust ourselves to make a decision of what is right for us. The gut feeling also produces doubt. If I have a strong doubt that I go over and over in my mind I know then to walk away.
A successful first date is one that doesn't put pressure on me. I want to be able to disagree with him on any given subject but not have to prove anything. Most importantly for me is to be relaxed and laugh. I don't want to know his dating history, how much money he makes or the type of woman he's looking for. The purpose of the date would be to share a moment together.
If I really wanted to meet someone I would try to be in an environment where I would have something in common with the people in that environment.
I'm not fond of groups or clubs so it is difficult to even find someone to have a decent conversation with.
My high school this week sent out invitations for the 60th class reunion. UGH !!! I went to one of those many years ago and didn't enjoy it at all. In high school I was an introvert and I still am. The trick now is to find someone who enjoys his own space and doesn't need me to pay attention to him 24 hours a day.
Possibly, the moon affected people and animals more before modern lighting. The light of a full moon kept people up at night, leading to sleep deprivation that could have caused other issues, according to one hypothesis. Regardless the moon does have an effect, but how big the effect is unknown.Sep 15, 2019.
In my own personal world certain people are more argumentative than other times.
secretagent09 Forum Posts (7,230)
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RE: Anyone want to meet me tonight here in ann arbor michigan usa for dinner?