A couple of drinkin' buddies, who are airplane mechanics, are in the hangar at Logan; it's fogged in and they have nothing to do. One of them says to the other, "Man, have you got anything to drink?"
The other one says, "Nah, but I hear you can drink jet fuel, and that it will kinda give you a buzz." So they drink it, get smashed and have a great time; like only drinkin' buddies can do.
The following morning, one of them gets up and is surprised he feels good, in fact, he feels great - NO hangover! The phone rings, it's his buddy.
The buddy says, "Hey, how do you feel?" He said, "I feel great!" and the buddy says, "I feel great too! You don't have a hangover?" and he says, "No -that jet fuel is great stuff - no hangover - we ought to do this more often."
Let him know you don't want to cancel the date, but you must because you do not want to infect him. Give him a "raincheck" that can be collected after you are well again. Try to set up another date, as soon as you are feeling better.
For a couple years I've been blaming it on iron poor blood, lack of vitamins, exercise, dieting and a dozen other maladies. But now I found out the real reason;
I'm tired because I'm overworked. Let me explain...
The population of the United Stated is 239 million. 106 million are retired. That leaves 133 million to do the work.
There are 83 million who are under-age or still in school, and 3 people who are still working on their PhD's since the 50's, which leave 49.99997 million to do the work.
Four million, four hundred ninety nine thousand, nine hundred seventy are in the Armed Forces, which leaves forty five and a half million to do the civilian work.
Of this there are 29.4 million employed by the federal government. This leaves 18.5 million to do the work. Half that many work for State and City Governments, and leaving 1,400,000 to do the work.
Now, there are 895,798 people in prisons, so that leaves 504,202 to do the work.
There are 504,200 people being treated in hospitals, at doctor appointments, or on sick leave today. That leaves just two people to do the work.
You and me.
...and you're sitting there playing around on the internet.
Take all American women who are within five years of menopause - train us for a few weeks, outfit us with automatic weapons, grenades, gas masks, moisturizer with SPF15, Prozac, hormones, chocolate, and canned tuna - drop us (parachuted, preferably) across the landscape of Afghanistan, and let us do what comes naturally.
Think about it. Our anger quotient alone, even when doing standard stuff like grocery shopping and paying bills, is formidable enough to make even armed men in turbans tremble.
We've had our children, we would gladly suffer or die to protect them and their future. We'd like to get away from our husbands, if they haven't left already. And for those of us who are single, the prospect of finding a good man with whom to share life is about as likely as being struck by lightning.
We have nothing to lose.
We've survived the water diet, the protein diet, the carbohydrate diet, and the grapefruit diet in gyms and saunas across America and never lost a pound. We can easily survive months in the hostile terrain of Afghanistan with no food at all!
We've spent years tracking down our husbands or lovers in bars, hardware stores, or sporting events...finding bin Laden in some cave will be no problem.
Uniting all the warring tribes of Afghanistan in a new government? Oh, please ... we've planned the seating arrangements for in-laws and extended families at Thanksgiving dinners for years ... we understand tribal warfare.
Between us, we've divorced enough husbands to know every trick there is for how they hide, launder, or cover up bank accounts and money sources. We know how to find that money and we know how to seize it ... with or without the government's help!
Let us go and fight. The Taliban hates women. Imagine their terror as we crawl like ants with hot-flashes over their godforsaken terrain.
Scottishlass Forum Posts (3,324)
So nice of you to join us. 
Two Drinking Buddies