The National Poetry Contest had come down to 2 semi-finalists....a Yale graduate and a redneck from Texas. They were given a word, then allowed 2 minutes to study and come up with a poem that contained a certain word.
The word they were given was 'Timbuktu'
First to recite his poem was the Yale graduate. He stepped up to the microphone and recited.......
Slowly across the sand Trekked a lonely caravan Men on camels, two by two Destination - Timbuktu
The crowd went crazy! No way could the redneck top that, they thought. The redneck calmly made his way to the microphone and said.....
Me and Tim a huntin went Met three wh*res in a pop-up tent They was three, and we was two So I bucked one, and Timbuktu
One evening a husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his wife "Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in Slim Fast. Maybe it would take a few inches off of your butt!!"
His wife was not amused, and decided that she simply couldn't let such a comment go unrewarded.
The next morning the husband took a pair of underwear out of his drawer. "What the Hell is this??" he said to himself as a little "dust" cloud appeared when he shook them out. "April," he hollered into the bathroom, "Why did you put talcum powder in my underwear?"
She replied with a snicker... "It's not talcum powder......It's 'Miracle Grow'."
May those that love us, love us. And those that don't love us, May God turn their hearts. And if He doesn't turn their hearts, May He turn their ankles So we will know them by their limping. ~Irish Blessing
May the Irish hills caress you. May her lakes and rivers bless you. May the luck of the Irish enfold you. May the blessings of Saint Patrick behold you. ~Irish Blessing
Scottishlass Forum Posts (3,324)
Hi, 
pleased to meet you 
you
'Timbuktu'
The National Poetry Contest had come down to 2 semi-finalists....a Yale graduate and a redneck from Texas. They were given a word, then allowed 2 minutes to study and come up with a poem that contained a certain word.The word they were given was 'Timbuktu'
First to recite his poem was the Yale graduate. He stepped up to the microphone and recited.......
Slowly across the sand
Trekked a lonely caravan
Men on camels, two by two
Destination - Timbuktu
The crowd went crazy! No way could the redneck top that, they thought. The redneck calmly made his way to the microphone and said.....
Me and Tim a huntin went
Met three wh*res in a pop-up tent
They was three, and we was two
So I bucked one, and Timbuktu
The redneck won