open2it Forum Posts (41)

RE: anyone met someone nice here that they went out with and who was who and what you expected them to b

On the down-side... the last time I met someone from this site was nearly a year ago. Having been on the site previously (2010), last year I noticed that the Scammer-to-Real ratio as well as the dead-time-between-forum-posts had both risen significantly. (It used to be really hopping anytime day or night!!)

I feel that the Scammer-to-Real ratio has gotten even worse in the past year. I am rarely on this site at all anymore. I am so glad that I met the wonderful people that I did.... sadly, the "population" has been shifting for some time.

RE: anyone met someone nice here that they went out with and who was who and what you expected them to b

So have I.

RE: How old are you really lol

WOW-- I did not know that. Forgive me, my only experience with it was watching liver cancer kill my father two years ago. He quickly went from healthy & active to skin & bones: diagnosed a few days before Christmas, dead three days after Saint Patrick's Day. Brutal.

RE: How old are you really lol

Hey, Kid, great to see you!!!!

RE: How old are you really lol

"A few extra pounds" is another one that's got a rather wide interpretation.

I have a few extra pounds....which I call "average". Without those few pounds, I might be tempted to consider putting "athletic". And, unless I get cancer or something, "skinny" is certainly out. In truth, I haven't been an athlete for many years, and I have NEVER been skinny. So, pretty average really.

However, I will say that this site has more "body type" descriptors than most!

RE: How old are you really lol

The logical part of me agrees with you completely. But the logical part of me isn't the ONLY part of me.

RE: How old are you really lol

My age is my age. I'm not thrilled about it, but it is what it is, so it's accurately represented here. I started worrying about 40 when I hit 37. Now here I am at 47 worried about hitting 50.


Beats the alternative tho.

RE: Just passing by

I don't want to dominate the thread talking about my work. But I would be happy to answer your questions as best I can if you would like to email me.

RE: Just passing by

I'm a teacher of English to Speakers of Other Languages (ESOL/ESL). But I hold an unusual position. I am the sole ESOL teacher for an entire rural county. So I travel from site to site to assess students who come from other language backgrounds and to serve the students who qualify for ESOL/ESL services under federal guidelines.

Last year I had six schools until April; then I got a seventh school. Eight would be almost impossible for one person to manage effectively.

RE: Just passing by

No, my job has only been done single-handedly in the county I'm in. We've had some growth. There is an indication that the growth will continue. At some point, I will need help. They offered me help, but I'm not ready.... because I haven't found someone who is a good fit and currently available to work with me. It will be a growth position when it happens: assuming it happens.

RE: Just passing by

For now, yes. I met a student teacher I'd like to work with. She doesn't graduate until next year. I keep in touch with her because I think she'd be a good match. We'll see what happens.

RE: men 50andover

While that does happen, younger men asking out women in our forties, it doesn't really lead anywhere. I mean, even when the occasional 30 year old wants to build a life together with someone my age, the problem is that, if I care about his future, I have GREAT hesitation about tying his life to someone who will be OLD way before he will. I have NO desire to be a burden to someone I love. Yes, it could happen with someone my own age too, BUT I feel that marrying someone way out of my age range is just asking for it.

I'm 46. I firmly believe that a man of 50 is just about right for me. Many are still fun and fit in addition to being experienced, communicative, reasonable people.

But I also agree with Serena, who said some of the profiles marked approximately "age 50" show pictures of folks who appear to be MUCH older than 50. I do not think these are men who have aged badly; I think these are men who opted to post an inaccurate age for some strategic purpose. No thanks.

RE: Women making first approach to men

The vast majority of men I've gone out with were men I approached first, both online and in person-- always in a simple, straight, friendly, conversational way at first.

It's simple enough to test his comfort level with small increments if I have a direction I'd like to see things go. However, I would never push an agenda that is a mismatch for him, so I pay careful attention to how he reacts along the way.

Bottom line-- I prefer to choose the men I'm with rather than the other way around. Once my choice has been made very clear, I do prefer that he take reigns so to speak. If everything is left up to me, I get bored because I really don't have it in me to be the "director" of all things.

RE: Vulnerability

Yes, vulnerable can mean "likely to be injured."

The reason this conversation is confusing is because the term "emotional vulnerability" is used in a different and specific way with regard to relationships, at least here in the U.S.

For example:

RE: Vulnerability

I understand. You name it differently because you do not experience it as taking a risk. Nothing wrong with that.

RE: Vulnerability

IMO you have defined what most women mean when they use the expression "to be vulnerable."

It just means being willing to take the risk of being our true selves and sharing our truest thoughts, feelings, and desires with someone that we really want to keep in our lives.

Some people really have been rejected upon making their deepest thoughts, feelings, and desires known. Those experiences can make people hesitate to take that risk again.

RE: is it a turn off or a turn on for a woman to be strong???

WOW-- very cool!!! I was a gymnast as a kid, but didn't do ballet until my 30s. It's even harder than it looks.

RE: Do you "act, think, or look your age?"

I don't look "frumpy & over-the-hill," but I think I look like I'm in my forties. So I look my age.

I've made plenty of mistakes on my way to 46, and I'm not looking to go backwards, so I mostly "think" my age and "act" my age.

However-- IMO being silly and spontaneous are not excluded from acting my age. Or any age. It's just that now I know when and where to control my impulse to be too silly or too spontaneous.

I have no trouble letting it run wild when the conditions (and the company) are right.

RE: here today gone tomorrow

You are getting messages so interesting that you would paste them to an offline document...

RE: Should women play "hard to get"?

In your age group, I think this is largely true. I remember, in my youth, being annoyed with myself that it did in fact affect my level of interest.

Hopefully, by the time we get to 35 or 40, we are long past that. "Status" is surely not among the things I'm chasing at this point in life.

RE: Should women play "hard to get"?

I don't care if it "works" or it doesn't. I don't like anything that mucks up communication.

RE: Some Questions for Men - Unmarried Women Over 30 -

I don't think it matters unless you plan to have children, as that becomes more difficult later.

RE: Where has all of the good girls gone?

There is no crime in being fair to yourself. Generosity and selflessness, like most things, are best in moderation.

People who are comfortable being "takers" will find those who over-give. Imbalance attracts imbalance.

RE: Where has all of the good girls gone?

Of course you do.

RE: Where has all of the good girls gone?

??

There are good girls. There are good men. None of them are perfect people.

RE: Do you like to cuddle?

Wow, yeah, that makes a big difference!

RE: So Cynical??

Yes, I think I would get depressed about it too if I generalized all men that way.

RE: Do you like to cuddle?

Sometimes cuddling is wonderful.

But I also need the freedom to get up and get on with my day without having to deal with a bunch of pouting over it.

RE: A woman

Technique? Just to get a woman pregnant???

RE: A woman

I think he means-- until what age?