Welcome to this site and to the forums, Kat. I think this is a good site to start with just because of the forums. I believe they do work for many people, and could work for everybody if they had the patience and courage to work at it. I have seen progress myself, and I am a bit short on both. We all have heard of people who've met someone special online, sometimes through a site like this. They aren't magic, at least not yet, they are still evolving. Try more than one, but this is a good one to start with. Glad to have you here, anyway.
Oh, yes, I know, I'm one of the ones for whom this is serious, not at all some childish game. At first I didn't get any replies, and it was that way for a long time, but finally on another site I did, and two or three times I got a couple of replies, then silence. I does hurt. It is a rejection. But I still believe that the popular women here get their mail boxes stuffed and find themselves answering lots of messages. They have a hard time keeping up. So I can see how it can happen. I still don't like it at all. But it was better than being ignored.
Yes, true, all of that, but is it entirely fair to single out your ** in a forum topic like this? It could be very embarrassing for her, and though you may feel she deserves it, that is just your view. I don't know if she is still using Connecting Singles and is likely to run across it. She may still be lookinig for someone, of maybe not. Who know, maybe, (sorry), maybe ** got married.
I am not the expert, but I think I have to say, "Try harder". The odds are not good, so use more than one online dating service.... But don't abandon us here, please. I can't promise this will work, but it will improve the odds. Its the best we can do right now. Online dating is still relatively new. Someday it will get better. Its like the early days of the telephone, when only a few people had them and they were clumsy to use. Now telephones are everywhere. dpw
I rather like The Phoenix's idea about inviting people to the forums. Word of mouth has been spreading it, I imagine, and this would be a bit more systematic word of mouth, so to speak, or word of message, amongst people you are messaging. I don't seem to message people here much, not link in other dating services, because I find it hard to find who is compatible. But I'll give it a try.
I agree with everything you've listed, Arabella. It is the same with everything between a man and a woman that comes from the good old days. The man must show respect for the woman and protect her even at the risk of endangering him self, and he must bear all expenses. These are traditional courtship rituals, and go back a long way. But the world has changed, hasn't it, and some men have been the victims of terrible scams, like those pulled by Russian women on American men, so men do have to be careful.
Hey, Arabella, in this new incarnation as Arabella55, you have changed your profile a little bit, and I just barely meet your requirements! Now you are willing to accept men up to my age and within 10000 miles of Maine. That would include Vancouver Island. I don't how energetic I am though, it's been a while.
What's a red flag situation, Arabella? But don't discount the finding a date thing. Conversation and friendship are important, and stay with us, but finding someone to share your life matters too. Just take it slowly. dpw
That particular formula probably works better in Florida than in Canada, but I like the sound of rain on the roof too. Welcome to the forums, Laureenlor7! Glad to have you here.
I don't mean to be disloyal to Connecting Singles, because the Forums here are very important to me, but I would like to suggest you use another site, Miss agoodblkwoman. Please try.. which is a rather long and tedious process to sign up with, because of all the test questions you will have to answer, but then it will be for him, too, and he will have to answer hundreds of questions in which he will have to demonstrate that he is a good man. It might not work, but it makes it hard for the insincere, hard for the men who are just after, as you say, some. The testing is quite rigorous and the matching very thorough, and yet it is all free. Try it. You might not like having to go through all the work, but I think you will find it will help. Don't abandon Connecting Singles, though, please. We like having you around.
Yes she did, riposte by riposte, for someone only 20 she'd very witty and clever. That's as attractive as the face in the photo. I hope she's going to get a decent education and put that good mind to some good use.
You've been helpful too, cutelildevilsmom. I've enjoyed your remarks. It didn't take you long to become a real part of this forum, and I am glad you did.
There have been some women on this forum who quite openly wanted a man to support them or provide wealth so they would be financially much better off. Women have traditionally wanted that, and if your read Jane Austen novels from the end of the 18th century they are very focussed on the amount of money a man has to bring to the marriage. Things have changed obviously. I think these days both parties to anything, even a date, have to get the money question settled. Who pays what? For any kind of relationship at all each should just reveal whether they are hoping to become better off, are capable of providing some support, or maybe both. Sometimes its is a tradeoff, like a woman who supports a medical student husband who then earns a lot of money as a doctor and supports her (assuming he doesn't run off with a nurse in the meanwhile). Anyway, this is one of the most complicated things there is, and one of those places were being a bit cold-hearted and practical can actually help a relationship.
Let's put it this way, pretty as as Foxy is, I ignored her until her Forum posts made me laugh and showed a good mind behind the pretty face. She's way too young to be a prospective mate, but the principle holds. I read forum posts for interest first, and then if they are interesting, then I get interested in the person, at which point I look more closely at her picture and read her profile. But writing witty words of wisdom, that will give me insight into your character for sure, and that is what I want. Not that anybody round here gives much of a damn what I want, but presumably some young guys out there think the same way.
Well, either learn to love someone else, or teach him to trust you (online, for example) and behave a lot better, like never ever leaving you hanging by yourself for three days. Teach him that, teach him to be nicer, to show you some love and treat you decently, or learn to love someone else. It's your choice.
When I was 17 and a not doing so well in the dating department I took up with a woman THIRTY years older than me, 47, because she put out and put out and put out, in ways I could only have dreampt of previously. Years later, when I was 32, I had a pretty good relationship with a woman who was 19, younger than Foxy. That almost lasted. I think it could have, if we had been just a bit more compatible, and I bet this Vixen who demands men come to her front gate could have a successful relationship with a man of 30. A ten year difference. But it is not the number of years that matters, it is where they are in your life, it is the percentage, really. Ten years in your teens would be everything, while ten years in your forties would be little. dpw
Welcome to the Forums, Blythe_one -- I hope you enjoy them. We all seem too. Look on them and you will find much talk of intercontinental travel and its risks.
And you, Miss Eyes, what ever happened to feminism, to the idea of equality? Oddly enough, I more or less agree, and from the male perspective would insist on being the one to travel to meet the woman, but I would prefer to be the one insisting on it as an act of chivalry, not having the woman demanding it as her right. Women!
I don't think you should take the "Want's children" part as definite and pass by a profile because of it. If I guy sees your profile and sees you don't he might still decide to get together with you, even if he filled out the form to say he wants children. I am, well, real real old, alright, I am 55, (and some), and yet I usually fill out the box as either "wants children" or "not sure" depending on the choices the dating service gives me, because I would love to find a woman young enough to have a child and would love to have another child, but on the other hand I realize that is unlikely. If I find anyone at all it will probably be someone older, past childbearing age, and there will be no more children for me. So I would like, but do not expect children. If you and I turned out the very compatible, we could get together and the absence of children would be OK.
I am terribly disappointed with the last two women who posted and all those who didn't post. This thread is the ideal place for all of you sweet young things to announce that you would actually date someone as old as --- LL187, provided at least that he was as handsome, sweet, cuddly, and loveable as LL187. I trust you will correct this oversight.
It is easy to get used to regular posts from people, alight. You missed about a day or so, Ann-Marie, and suddenly I got all worried. But people's lives do have ups and downs and get complicated. I'd rather he kept his profile and picture in and just didn't post for a bit than suddenly disappear. Maybe something (or someone) good happened to him.
Hey, two newcomers, all of crazyboynva's posts are in the last few minutes, and SassifiedSingle is new too. Welcome, both of you! Any Mr. Boynva, sir, I am completely sure there are women in the right age range for you. Have no worries on that account. Go to the Search and use the Advanced Search facility where you can specify what you want, and see. Not that you can create named search criteria and use them over again.
What should you do if you get bored or frustrated here at ConnectingSingles and especially in these Forums? Should you delete your profile and go away? Please don't. Why not just stop posting and become inactive. And what if you do become frustrated with online dating and feel you're just not getting anywhere with it. Should you just go out and try and pick up someone in the real world? Well of course, online dating should only have have been something you tried in addition to your realworl like, not as a replacement for it. You should have been living in the realworld all along, and that includes trying to find someone out there yourself. Keep doing that. So you can cut back on your online activity temporarily, maybe increase your efforts in the realword, but please don't quit completely, and remember, be careful, it's a jungle out there.
Ms. Brunette! Welcome back! Your second post, I believe. We've missed you. Well, I've missed you. And a "Reply to this topic button appears, too. Nice. I've been meaning to mention things like that, various reply options, but another time. I am also willing to consider small one-time fees, but frankly I am not one of those interested in chat, myself, sharing Cayce's views on it from Gibson's Pattern Recognition, which I won't quote here. But for the others, go ahead. Is there a more regular way of contacting you with suggestions, other than the the "contact us" thing, which I thought might be a black hole? Because with just a few CHEAP changes this place could really be so much better, in my not to so humble opinion. Would you participate in a frank discussion of the various dating services and what they have to offer?
I am just astounded now to have actually gotten into a long e-mail conversation with a woman almost my own age, who writes very intelligently, is clearly well-educated, makes a lot of sense, and sent me a lovely photograph. Of course she lives half-way across the world away in India, but that's a mere detail. This was on another site, by the way. I have subscribed to several, to increase my odds. I think thats a good idea, and would recommend it. ...... It began as a research project for me. dpw
The world doesn't serve you well, Phoenix. You know there are some lonely compatible people in Boise for friendship or whatever, but your chances of finding them are low. That doesn't seem fair, to me. Why doesn't the world provide quick ways of hooking you up with them, even if just for coffee and conversation? There are fake ways, of course, come ons, but nothing that really works for them and for you. Sad.
LL187 Forum Posts (611)
RE: Do these sites really work?
Welcome to this site and to the forums, Kat. I thinkthis is a good site to start with just because of the
forums. I believe they do work for many people, and
could work for everybody if they had the patience and
courage to work at it. I have seen progress myself,
and I am a bit short on both. We all have heard of
people who've met someone special online, sometimes
through a site like this. They aren't magic, at least
not yet, they are still evolving. Try more than one,
but this is a good one to start with. Glad to have
you here, anyway.
dpw