Yes, many of us have grown up in a society that confuses self-love with selfishness, leaving many feeling "not good enough" to be loved. But that is changing.
Yes. I believe that when we really love who we are, we seek partners who are compatable with us. People who are similar to us in personality, values and lifestyles. Not clones though.
"Very interesting" as the bould Freud might have said.....
Lots about Oedipus, Laius and Jocasta there, plus some Electra and Agamemnon. Might be time to make love to yourself now (matephorically speaking that is !)
Some schools of psychology believe that the attraction between men and women is about repairing your relationship with either or both your parents........
Agreed. Many men adopt as role models for relationships their mother. Likewise many women pick their father. Very understandable and very predictable. If it was a good, healthy relationship then that is a good choice. If not, its a recipe for disaster. When we heal the wound within the need to do this goes away. That maybe explains why second relationships can work out much better than first relationships.
What is it about "bad guys" that (some) women are into, Gwen, I never get it. Since I'm not wealthy either, that's a double whammy. Just as well I have some redeeming factors.
From the book "Getting the Love you want" Some biologists content that there is a very predictable logic to who we chose to fall in love with. According to their view, men are instinctively drawn to women with features that indicate robust health and childbearing ability - clear skin, bright eyes, shiny haor, good bone structure, red lips and rosy cheeks. Women however are instinctly drawn to men with the ability to feed and provide for their women and kids, more than for their beauty or youth.
Their "theory" (not mine, ok !) seeks to explain why the ugly but wealthy successful businessman is more likely to land a trophy wife.
If any of you guys has received emails from "Candy27", a pretty 27 year old from Russia living in Berlin, bewsre - its a scam. Her generous offer to come and visit you (if you pay the airfare) is a well known scam by a well known scammer. I reported her to CS Staff yesterday and they cancelled her account. Apparently I was one of very very many man that she expressed her unrequieted love for.
Your knowledge of the important things in life knows no bounds, and yes I am as ever in complete agreement with you..........
....but if the water droplets in your houuse can make it from the toilet bowl as far as the soap in the shower when you flush, maybe should turn the water pressure down a bit ?.
I agree absolutely. All that anyone can really do is to put us in touch with a pain that is inside of us. I'm lucky in that I've never been deliberately hurt by any woman. Suppose it because I've never met a woman who was deliberately dishonest, but I do know men who have met them.
The greatest gift in life is honesty. When we are trully honest with another we cannot hurt them. Maybe that is why dishonest people can and do hurt us. So yes, being upfront is the only way to be.
"After a year or two, it came to pass that the king's son rode through the forest and passed by the tower. Then he heard a song, which was so charming that he stood still and listened. This was Rapunzel, who in her solitude passed her time in letting her sweet voice resound. The king's son wanted to climb up to her, and looked for the door of the tower, but none was to be found. He rode home, but the singing had so deeply touched his heart, that every day he went out into the forest and listened to it. Once when he was thus standing behind a tree, he saw that an enchantress came there, and he heard how she cried: “Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair”."
So do, please, let down your hair. There's some great craic here on the forums and some great people too.
Mine include meeting a friend in Ennis tonight for (just one) drink. Tomorrow morning I need to finish some DIY in the house, then head up to Dublin for the Cyndi Lauper concert, staying with my parents on Saturday night. Heading back down Sunday, have my daughter staying with me Sunday night and dropping her to Kindergarden on Monday morning on my way to work.
Ah Eamonn, behind the man who threatens his kids with a size 9 boot is a big old softy. They know it and you know it. And if I get another woman asking me who the good looking guy is the photograph from the CS get together, I'm going to get off this site !. They're after you Eamonn, big time, you brad pitt looklike you.
Much has been written about how men have more difficulty than women do in expressing feelings and communicating. As a generic statement I think there is truth in it. And yes, it presents us with challenges as parents and role models for our children.
But for us men who worry sometimes about their parenting skills, I came across the following in a book called "All about Parenting" recently.
Men’s difficulties with emotional expression likely lies in how they were brought up, what is expected of them and what is provided for them.
While many parents and teachers may battle against the idea that they interact with children on gender lines, the reality is that infant girls and boys are treated differently.
It is at the level of emotional relating that the most profound effect of gender can be witnessed. Within families, boys are not normally encouraged to take on responsibilities that involve tenderness and nurturance. Whereas girls have a model in their mother for emotional expression, men likely do not have the same with their father.
Indeed boys and young men risk serious ridicule growing up if they go against what is seen as typically “male”. Girls get opportunities to practice the emotional skills of care, kindness, tenderness, nurturance and expression of upsetting skills. On the other hand, boys’ time and energies typically go into mastering physical skills.
It is not that boys do not have feelings of love, fear, depression, sadness, jealousy and guilt, but they rarely encourage to identify, understand and express them. Neither are they encouraged to enter the emotional world of others.
So let’s not give ourselves a hard time. It might be hard work as adult men to now develop our ability to express feelings and to improve our communication skills. But it can be done.
Glad it was you Eamonn who replied and not me. But yes to be in a relationship means to be vulnerable and only vulnerable people can get hurt. Nobody's perfect. I've never deliberately been hurt by any woman (and I've never deliberately hurt any woman either).
If we judge everyone by our bad experiences, we limit ourselves hugely I feel in terms of future possibilities. I've met many very honest women in my life. But many, many years ago I did get hurt by one not-so-honest woman. It never put me off being open to possibilities. Maybe deep wounds sometimes heal slowly, so healing time and the company of good male friends might help ?.
hasagoodheart Forum Posts (410)
RE: favourite theme song of a movie
The Onieden Line series - the piano theme to it captures perfectly the feeling of being on a sailing boat for me.