I know what you are going through, Paws. I have been there and done that on CS. It is a trust issue thing that one goes through on here. I was down for three days trying to resolve the issue in my head. Hey, we are all human. I know it is hard growing up in public. I have had to do that. It shows that you are a genuine human with all the assets and liabilities that go with that. Yup, I was naive, too. I am glad you got your red wings. Yup, you can feel all the love. They can say what they want. It does feel real because real people have real feelings.
And lo and behold I saw the lady of the lake. We talked, walked and of bread we did partake. Later, she slivered back into the water as a snake. It got late and soon I napped taking a break.
She had told me about this magical two-edge sword. She said the sword could cut through word. It was the strangest thing I had ever heard. That night I dreamed of it and got disturbed.
In my heart and mind I wanted that sword of power. To me the sword was like a beautiful flower. I began to covet and crave the sword of power. I dreamed of the desert with a black lotus flower.
I awoke the next morning and looked at the lake. The lake was still with no waves to break. The sun was so hot and my head did bake. On a hard rock I sat eating a delicious cake.
Suddenly, I saw a beautiful hand gripping a sword. I went toward it walking straight forward. I swam as hard as I could wanting the treasure. But my great trophy to me was beyond measure.
I reached for the sword but her hand went down. I was angry because I touched the blade found. I looked to see if anybody else was around. I was disheartened; I could have had a crown.
She said to King Arthur this is the sword of gladness. To me this is a burden and the sword of sadness. To many this sword of power would be badness. I have given you the invisible sword of madness.
I had been wondering aimlessly in the desert. I had asked God to help me find the way but still I was lost and the sun it hurt. I got cold at night and hot in the day. I couldn't remember the last time I had drank-ed but I was so thirsty and my stomach was empty. My mind was like a vacuum and my spirit sank-ed. I began to greatly fear for my own sanity. I began to walk slower because I wanted to die. There seemed like there was no way out. I gave up hope and said to myself, "I will just fry". I just laid down because I was full of doubt. The madness took over and I began seeing things. I thought I saw an oasis in the desert but it was only sand and I drank-ed nothing. My throat really then really began to hurt. I saw another mirage and it was a beautiful woman. She said the gods must be crazy I think leaving you out here to suffer all alone. She offered me water and I tried to drink but like her it disappeared; again I was alone. Eventually, a nomad rode up on camel from nowhere. I said thank God you are here to rescue me. He said God is Good Orderly Direction here. You have to know your way in the sand of sea.
Like the black hole poem I took the rage into myself where it would only hurt me not others. It is easy for the victim to become the abuser. This is sadomasachism. To stop the vicious cycle one might have to do the insane thing like a warrior who throws down his sword in the heat of battle and says something insane like I will not fight today. Dottie used to say you can kill me but you can't eat me. I would say, oh, yeah, it might take me a while but given time I could eat all of you. It would stun her at first then she would see the humor in it, lol.
Beautiful poem, Nene. :) My father was an abuser. He abused me in many ways. He was absolute power no matter who he was with or where he was. He got so angry once he told me if he ever got so he couldn't control me that he would grab a club. I told why don't you just kill me and get it over with; that way atleast you will be happy. He would go into a rage and I would be terrified until I started laughing uncontrollably from fear then he would say don't laugh at me. Like me he was abused by his father when his father would log chain his brother and him to a tree and whip them with a bullwhip. I got help in rehab. I vowed I would not turn into him. Any good doctor will tell that laughter is the best medicine.
Thank you, Nene. :) I know I watch a lot of sci-fi but some of it makes since. I love Stargate. I was upset at Heaven's Gate, though. Poor fools thought they were going somewhere. It is like the Spanish Inquisition. So many tradgedies and like Aristotle said, "Power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely".
I think that would be a clear way to put it, yes. I remember that one hand clapping a great work. We can hear two but to hear one hand clapping takes imagination.
The world was so very scary. Everything in it scared me. I became a vacuum of reality. Reality became a real fantasy.
I talked only to me out of fear. I survived but so did the fear. I lived in a fantasy world of fear. I became a monster of my own fear.
I would never smile no, not ever. I learned how to hide, so clever. A world I would leave, no never. An impenetrable fortress of forever.
A screeching whirlwind began to appear. Where no time and space became the fear. My mind stretched; I became a great tear. Matter and anti-matter I could bear.
I became so powerful that light went. As the blows came my anger would vent. My rage became horrible and I rent. Stuck in inner and outer space bent.
Dear God, I am so glad that you don't exist. I can't imagine what I would do if you were real. So many good chances to die but still I persist. God, only you can understand how I really feel. Many times in my life I wanted to believe in you. It would have been so nice to talk to someone. To be able to explain how I felt when blue. God, I would have shared this with anyone. Thank you, God for making me totally insane. I feel so much better knowing nothing is real. At least, God we have insanity in our brain. God life is wonderful because you are unreal.
Yes, scary. I studied the royalty of England for a while since my genealogy line comes from Millom Castle.
Pease-porridge hot, Pease-porridge cold, Pease-porridge in the pot, Nine days old; Some like it hot, Some like it cold, Some like it in the pot, Nine days old.
Three blind mice. Three blind mice. See how they run. See how they run. They all ran after the farmer's wife Who cut off their tails with a carving knife. Did you ever see such a thing in your life As three blind mice?
I am sure you will like Peirs' works. He murders cliches, lol. Like money doesn't grow on trees so he has these trees with money growing off it, lol. Sorry I got off topic from Nursery Rhymes but that can be corrected.
On the way to St. Ives I met a man with seven wives
Oh, no. Piers Anthony who in my opinion is one of the greatest Fantasy writers was not on drugs. He has a great family and was a good father to his daughter. He still lives in Florida but fantaside Florida in a fantasy world. His Xanth Series are simply great works. I just love the Blue Adept on the juxtaposed world. The mundane world on one side and the fantasy world on the other.
My favorite is Alice In Wonderland. Some very good songs such as White Rabbit came from it. I like the part about the looking glass. Geez, who couldn't like Alice? Chasing that rabbit and her ordeal with the Queen, the madhatter, the chesire cat and falling down the whole to begin. I think Alice is the bomb so to speak. Getting the marmalade on the way down. The giant catterpillar on the large mushroom. Eat this and you will be small and drink this and you will be big. Oh my the imagery. "Go ask Alice when she is 10 feet tall". Lewis Carroll really wrote a wonderful book.
That makes sense, Joe so I agree. I still believe in making love not war. It was a beautiful concept. Free Love. Just enjoying each other's presence in a state of tranquility. No strings attached. One didn't have to become a puppet or a remote controlled toy. Your love is just as valuable as my love.
RainbowSlider Forum Posts (7,174)
RE: I Will Likely Regret This Post Tomorrow Morning.
I hope you come back soon Paws or you will be reduced to drama. I hate it when you believe your feelings are real and they say you are drama.Roy