Very true. I should have clarified that I meant in UK English terms.
I was also referring to the fact that other languages may have different words which don't translate the way someone from the UK would understand them.
I've been to Russia on holiday and lived in Ukraine for 3 years and would agree with you. I haven't been to Estonia or Lithuania but also loved Latvia and Poland.
As for Russian girls chewing you up and spitting you out, yes I admit you will find plenty like that but if you spend enough time there and learn a bit of the culture you will get to know the good and the bad just like any country. They do hanker after a western lifestyle which is not surprising for those who have experienced life there and some will see you simply as a meal ticket but there are also many who simply want the same as many women all over the world, a genuine loving relationship.
As for hospitality, they may not have much money (i'm talking about 95% of the people not the oligarchs) but if you're invited to their home you will never leave hungry. It's an insult for them for a guest to leave hungry.
I was just about to post something similar until I read your post and I agree with all you say.
Let's be honest about it, regardless of the forums this IS a dating site and especially if you've met someone offline I would understand their concern at me still being here.
I know many people will say they are only here for the forums or they've made good friends here and refuse to give them up but the majority here are looking for a partner.
As for friendship, yes there are some great people here but I would imagine for the most part they are virtual friends. How many here have met and will meet regularly in the future.
Personally, if I met someone who I liked and I thought there was a good chance of a future for us but CS was a problem then I wouldn't need to think twice about it. It would be goodbye CS.
There can be several reasons as have been pointed out.
Maybe he was just playing games, maybe he decided he was no longer interested i.e you were not what he was looking for or maybe he met someone else, either online or in real life.
Some people say just move on but sometimes that is easier said than done. I know this is a virtual world but what a lot of people forget is behind that picture and pseudonym is a real person with real feelings and emotions. It's easy to say we've never met so what's the problem but even online people develop feelings through long term correspondence and deserve the same respect as real life.
Maybe if you've only been speaking for a few days or weeks then it's ok but I think if you've been corresponding for a month or more then the other person deserves a little respect and an explanation if you decide to finish your communication.
Those who know me previously will know that I don't contribute much recently and that I've removed my photo. The reason is I've met someone locally (not through any site). It's early days and maybe I will return in the future depending on how things develop but for now I'm happy just reading the forums.
I'm not perfect and don't claim to be but I try to live by a saying I learned years ago which has a lot to do with karma. "Treat others as you would expect them to treat you" Maybe if more people did there would be less frustration, insults and heartache in online dating.
I agree. If you're the type who is honest and straight up then that's who you are and why should you change it.
I had an ex once who's next door neighbour was a single mother. My ex used to laugh about her and say she'd never get a man because she told them straight up she wanted a serious long term relationship. She was never short of dates but most of them ended pretty quickly. Within a year however, she had met a lovely guy who was a single parent also and they were engaged to be married.
In my opinion if she just wants to be friends it means she's just not into you. As to whether there is any hope, there is always some hope but it depends whether you're willing to wait around and see. I've been on both sides of the coin and and it never worked. If the spark is not there after dating someone a few times it's not going to change.
Just my opinion from my own experiences. Others may think differently.
I agree with some of the others. Those are unacceptable excuses and if I was getting them I would think they were hiding something.
I could understand if he had not been to yours and thought it was too early for that but since he has there is no reason not to invite you to his. Maybe you should give it a little longer to see what develops as 3 weeks is not that long. I've been seeing someone for the same amount of time and although I've met her son neither of us have been to each others houses though we don't live in the same town.
I agree you should know if someone is not into you but jbibiza has raised a very good point. If the other person's feelings have not developed at the same speed how long do you leave it before you decide they're definitely not into you.
No, it does not make them a player, or evil. It's just life and you've made a very good point. Not everyone's feelings will develop at the same speed and I suppose that's where it comes down to the person who is in love to make the decision as to whether to continue the relationship in the hope the other person will feel the same in the future.
I agree with you. It doesn't matter how much we love someone. You cannot make someone love you. It's there or it's not but you should be able to spot the signs of whether the other person feels the same as you.
I wouldn't have a problem with it but as has been mentioned culture can cause problems especially if one or other has no previous experience of the other's culture.
Having lived and dated in another country I've experienced it. I'm not saying it doesn't work and many people have made it work but it takes a lot of patience, understanding and some compromise on both sides.
In my case I feel we got married too young. I was 22 and my wife 21. She was a very confident type which suited me as I was quite shy when I was younger but as we grew older we both changed. I became more confident and sure of myself and the more I did the more controlling she became. I tried for 13 years to change things but in the end realised it was never going to work.
Again, as for spending time to get to know them, I agree it's a good idea but also not a certainty. I saw my ex wife everyday for 3 years before we married. In the case of my next relationship, she was in another country. We met 6 times before I moved there and moved in together. We had 9 happy years together before some unfortunate circumstances led to a breakup.
lakelander Forum Posts (200)
suppose you soon won't have as much time for this place when the baby sitting kicks in.
RE: What country are you originally from?
Northern Irish. I lived in Scotland for 10 years then 3 years in Ukraine before moving to Cyprus 8 months ago.