RadiantFirefly Poetry (7)

I've given my heart, I've given my soul, I've given myself heartedly-Whole
To so many others believing they were mine.. When only to find, That I was meant to show them thier worth and watch as they take off and fly...
Finding myself alone every time.
I'm always searching for that hand to hold. The one in which we can grow old.
I look to the night sky, staring at the stars. Wondering if you, My mystery Love, Is out there somewhere wondering about Me.... While also gazing at the midnight stars...

My head is a mess and
my heart is dead.
I try to be fine but,
I just keep dying.
Life has been
a hell of a ride
I don't mean on the good side...
The older we become
The harder it is,
when things come undone,
To begin again...
Trust is a fragile thing,
When it has been stolen by one
The rest is no fun...
Others, that don't deserve
Wind up paying the price,
Not that it's fair,
Just so hard to bare...

I can't unhear the words you say to me
You can't take those words back
What is said, is said and words do hurt
You can say sorry, sorry can only go so far
I can't unhear the words you've said, You've said them so many times
I am not perfect and I don't expect you to be
Disagreements are going to happen as you are you and I am just me! You have scarred me and when I'm about to heal, you reopen the wounds that I've managed to seal
You cannot unbreak the broken,
you can't undo the done
You can't unhear what has already been spoken and you can't take back the words you have said. Take caution in your words for you never realize how sharp the blade of your tounge.
Shadows of the pain replay in my mind! Different situations same old routines.
Nothing cute or clever to say..... Just left in all this pain.

I am the definition of insanity
My Love for you keeps throwing me into the flames yet I keep running back into your arms, hoping something has changed ....
Nothing Ever Changes, We continue to run around in this endless circle,

Me: Lost & Confused, Hurting inside, tears on the outside, running down my face
You: Laughing, telling jokes, happy in your love, clueless that I'm in pain, caused by you.... Can't seem to explain....

Here we are, so many years later, so many tears I've cried, so much my heart has been through.... All For You and You have no clue that I've died!!! You swear you love me but Only in words!!! Only in Your words!!!!

How can you say you love me when all I do, upsets you
How can you say you love me and say such mean and hateful Words??? Your Love is insanity.... That is so clear to me..... And Yet...

I've made excuses, so many excuses for the way You've been treating me.... Excuses as to why I return to allow more pain to come from you....

You have broken my Dreams of You, of Us .... You've broken me. I was already broken when you met me, swore you'd fix me..... I was the one trying so hard, dying so hard to fix You...

Insanity, The Definition Of insanity is Me here now, still hurting as I try to keep my distance from you, while finding myself falling for it All, All over again.... Over again

So tired of feeling broken and dead watching you live like nothing has ever happened.... Listening as You Tell me you love me!!!! Swearing I've hurt you just as much as you have me!!!
If that were so true, Why am I always the one with tears in my eyes and scars on my heart..... Tell me.... Why am I the one with tears in my eyes and scars on my heart and you seem to prance around careless and free....

That's what insanity is.... Insanity is this crazy little dance you & I seem to share .... I give you my all and you take everything ..

I Am The Definition Of Insanity!!! Over and over and over again
I am the definition of Insanity...
Insanity is Me.....

*Fireless Firefly*

Hi... I am a friend...
Here to inform you that Firefly is gone.
She died Tuesday night of a massive Hearteache. She had no final words... Just let out one big sad sigh. She died with tears left in her eyes... No one knows Why... Do you??

Firefly left no last will or testiment, as she left so suddenly... Therefore, It is my Job to take over her body to tend to her unfinished business.

I know Nothing of her life... Just how she died...
So ask me no questions and expect nothing from me. I am only A shadow of what was once her.... But I am NOT nor can I ever be her.

Don't mind me if I am in the kitchen or caring for her dog. I will be doing her job, only as a shadow of what she once did... I will only be here a short while, not that I know how long, as I'm not sure how I even came to be here... Don't know why either. I just am.... I guess I will eventually just dissapear.... Fade away in the brisk wintery breeze...

** I will She'd my tears for you, I will hold on to each and every precious moment we've shared! In My Heart You will always Live!
This is not "Goodbye", Just a "See Ya Again Sometime" I will Be Strong and Carry On, So that I May carry You with Me and share your memory. You came into my life and taught me things that over the years to come, I will still learn from. Yes, You will be dearly Missed, and although, at this moment, It seems so hard to face each new day without you near, I know that where-ever you are, You're Loving Me Still! I'll cry for now, and I may cry some later, But My tears will be filled with all the joy you've once given.

Today, my heart cries, I sent my not-so-little Brother off to work in Nashville, in which he is now going to stay, as I have wrecked my car and the Jeep has been giving us a fit.

My heart Cries as I long for the day all our struggles will be nothing more than a shadow off in the far distant past! Will that day ever come? Or will things only begin to get worse as the World falls apart?

My heart cries for all those who try so hard and yet can't seem to get anywhere, We find strength in the hope of our dreams. But how sad it would be if all our struggles meant nothing, just for one day the world ends, badly.

So, Today My Heart Cries....