Barrellofart Poetry (50)

Your god

Not a man-made creation
That implies existence

Perhaps a man-made concept

What kind of God, what kind of God?

Show me one
Who possesses fire in his right hand
And lightning in his left

Where is your eternal God
And why am I so unworthy
To speak
Or hold communion with?

Did he create me in such complexity
To solve his infinite riddles
and discern
with my power of reason
the difference between Him
and millenial history?!

Why must I believe
In that which I cannot prove

If faith is so important
Then why so many faiths?
Where were we meant to draw the line?

"I do not believe"
Is such a complex thing, itself
In the Christian God?
In the Jewish God?
In the Muslim God?
Your pick

The One Single God
As if they could be the same
Should one exist
If somehow only one
If somehow it could be proven
Just one, none more
But who could really say?

On the premise of faith
You take your pick
And somehow discredit
One, against the other

'In Yahweh, I have found faith..'
But not in Allah, I wonder why?
How do you determine your faith
To One God, against the Many God's Lie?

I marvel at your dedication
I am confounded by your complicity
I cringe at the thought
That your Universal God
Might accept your blind faith
And somehow not me

Here in my dark and painful reality
I am injured and wanting and free
To chose faith and complacence
To any God that I might
But none have presented
And even I should resent it
This 'Devil' that so well
you have known-
Yet now he doesn't chase me

This parasitic atrophy,
A fickle inequity at best,
More often lends itself to
The blossoming desecration
Footlong virtue,
Than sacred and noble piety.

Neither desperation
Nor fatalism, brood
Amongst the heart
Or twixt the head
Should they retract
(Those sanguine fingers)
Tendrils of life
(Or pernicious death?)

Blackbirds and gunfire
Rise together high above
Those decrepit tin crowns

Brick and mortar kings
Yellow and red and grey
Time-stained with rusty tears

Cloudy skies on cloudy days
Defy that ancient prismatic logic
There is no color, only shade

There is no great cataclysm here
To hasten the inevitable
Among the dead and the dying

Just the sound of blackbirds and gunfire
In this slow and merciless autumn-
The Kingdom of Decay

What treachery it is
To draw your love close to me
Magnifying my horror
This masochist burden of guilt
Which sets my world aright
In sudden bursts of catatonia
In corners, hidden, grieving
Us, we, both

Six days ago,
I lost everything I had

I lost all I possessed
I lost all I loved
I lost every single preconception

I've been lost now, for almost a week
I call it a week- I call it a day- I don't know for sure
How can anything, at all, really be the same?

I hunger and thirst continuously
I am consumed with unidentifiable lust
I hear only the noise I make

It seems that every natural function of my body is haywire
And that anything capable of even basic satisfaction has been removed from this world

Six days ago,
I say six days,
I died.

And who would have ever thought it would be like this?

This world doesn't beat to the rhytm of love
Nor roll over to slowly wake with the dawn
Nor does it's shoulders carry the burden of autumn
Or tremble under the society built upon it

No- That's me. I do, I do, I do.

A little change in my pocket
A melody in my ear
New places and new faces
This time every year

Work for now is a past
Now time for some adventure
Vacation starts and lasts as long
As eight days, in September

Four wheels and fifteen gallons
Before I pit again
Not important where I'm going
Not important where I've been

Your fingers wrap up in my hair
Your legs wrap my hips
Your eyes are closed
Your mouth is open
You breath out deeply
As you let me in

Was it the wine?
Was it cherry cordials-
Sweet and smooth and sticky?
Was it the stimulation
Of conversation, over dinner
Or the absolute natural scent
Which only flowers do impart?

No.. They are but trappings
A pedestal onto which we foist
Our predetermined passion, not only
For the pleasure of the climb, but
For all that further we may fall,

And how we do fall, fall, fall...

Curse you, evil link, for leading me to another page
Curse you for losing my work
Curse you for depriving me the taste of satisfaction!

Oh jeez, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for cursing you, Link.

I know this isn't your fault.

I know, I was excited. It was pretty hot stuff, after all.

It's just that... I'm sitting here, in the dark, my imagination is running wild.. my fingers too, apparently!

It's the touchpad, really. This wasn't your fault, it was mine. And I can admit that. You're not so bad.. Actually, I kind of like you.

Oh Link, let's forget this ever happened. Forgive me?

If my memory serves me well, perhaps I'll come visit you again tomorrow, and you can help me write it all over again?

But, I think I'll be filing this one under 'Loss' instead of 'Love'. Surely, you understand..

Strong hand, sharp mind, reliable, adventurous, with a broad skill-set, confident leadership attitude and willing to travel.

You should have a vacancy with immediate need of filling, and a moderate pay scale with options for growth.

Short term positions will be considered if gainful.

NEVER, EVER
Ask a free-spirited person
To rationalize
Their thoughts

EVER