jgonso69 Poetry (12)

I can see the sickness in your eyes,
It can never be washed away no matter how much you cry.
It is sad and hurts because i know.
I once traveled that path not to long ago.
The only way i can help.. is to pray for you as someone once prayed for me
and when i see you next time..... I hope that you can hold your head up high,......
and no longer down at your feet

You are so beautiful, more than something special to me.
I pray to God that it is you every time that my phone rings. The truth is…that it is not
and my heart is crushed.
Was it me because I know it was not you
...or was it us.
Your smile, your laugh, your beautiful voice.
One bad decision led to another bad choice…..
You are more than beautiful
meant more than the world to me….
How many times can I say that I’m sorry…
I’m sorry…
please….
I toss and turn trying to hold my pillow tight.
It is you I imagine it to be just so I can sleep at night….
The truth is, it is not and so I remain restless still.
I pray for God to help me get through these feelings I feel.
Was it me, was it you, or was it us…..
It really doesn’t matter because I will still love you no matter what.

"Excuse me,... Excuse me Mr Teddy Bear,
but im not interested in preventing forest fires, ..
You see, i live in the city.
I am more interested in preventing drug abuse, gang violence, homelessness,
and im also interested in trying to educate the inner city youths,
if only i could prevent forest fires,
then WE together could prevent so much more.
"Not to be rude Mr. Teddy Bear,
but FUK your forest....."

Hi daddy. It's me Tommy your little son. I had my birthday party today, I was sad that you didn't come. My mommy says that your out to busy working on getting high. You must be real far away and working real hard if it stopped you from coming by.
I remember the day I learned how to ride my bike, it was the same day you thought me how to tie my shoes, there were no girls allowed that day daddy, just me and you. I thought the last time we were together was really great, we played hide and seek, pretend,go fish, and old maid. Do you remember that day daddy? Because I do. I miss that day daddy,daddy....... I miss you.
I heard a noise in my closet last night and I was really scared. I even heard stories of some guy that is suppose to live in there. Is it true daddy, is it true what they say? If you don't eat your vegitables, or go to sleep on time, that he will come take you away? Is it true daddy, is it true what they sa? With the kind of work that you do, your not promised the next day? Well that don't seem fair daddy if you wanna ask me, as high as you are and as hard as you work you should be promised everything.
Well next Monday is the last day of summer and then I start school. I'm suppose to bring my most favori-tes thing in the whole wide world......I wish I could bring you. I'm going to try my hardest to get the best-es grade so that you can be proud of me, because for some reason or another, I think that you are mad at me. Do you like me anymore daddy,did I do something wrong? Could you please forgive me daddy and if so, in how long.
I seen your picture in the paper today. My name was next to yours, it had your date of birth, ...yesterdays date,... grandma's name... and grandpa's. I didn't know that you worked in the O-B-I-T-U-ARIES daddy, but I'm real proud of you. Maybe it is something that you can teach me, because when I grow up....I wanna be.....just.......like......you.

When I run...
I run real fast..
I never turn around ....
I Never look back...
With nothing else on my mind, the chase is on..
Time is lost...
Life is gone...
as you know, we will probably never see each other again .
Im sorry my daughter, this is how it ends...
please forgive me,and the life I lived...
I tried I tried. ..
....I truly did

Mommy are you okay?, can you please forgive me mommy, I am so sorry..
I didn't mean to spill the milk, or bounce the ball in the house, or yell at Tommy when I was in my room to "just get out"
At times like these I need a hand helping,....or is it a helping hand?... Like these sentences your whereabouts I just can understand.
I thought that we were just playing a game of hide 'n' seek, but when I was done counting......those seconds, turn into weeks.
As much as I thought that I was good, I must have been really bad, And for that reason I think, just because of me,...your not coming back.
I promise if you do, I will be a good boy, I'll eat my vegitables, clean my room, and pick up all my toys.
I am so confused mommy, how did I make you feel this way? Made you feel the feelings you feel, But feelings I thought were okay....But the feelings I made you feel made you go away.....I don't know what to do with myself now never mind today,
I love you so much mommy but I am so really lost, I can't tell what shoe goes on what foot, or what happened to my other sock....
I'm so sorry for whatever I did that made you go away, I don't know much, But I do know that I will love you more tomorrow, than I did today

Hold me,....Hold me close..
Hold me... like you never held nothing else.
Hold me...hold me tightly,
Please...please,.....
Just hold me....

Lord can we walk?.... Can we walk right now? I have a confession need to talk, I need to talk right now.
You gave me my breath, the air I breath, You gave me my life, the life I live, You gave me it all but i chose to leave,
It was my way or not at all.....I was wrong, I'm sorry
Lord I need your help, I need your help PLEASE, Lord I need your strenght,...I need your strengh----ting.
I have been lying, cheating, and stealing, Lying about cheating, and stealing.
I have been sinning, drugging , and lusting,....Lusting about sinning and drugging.
Lord I am so really lost, so really lost right now, Lord I need your help, your founding help right now,
Their were times i should've, could've, and had ta, but none of it even mattered, it made me madder and madder, my family sadder and sadder
I wanna life, I wanna live, I want you.......I wanna live my life with you

How do I know that I love you?
Whenever I see you, My palms get sweaty, My heart beats faster, My hands start shaking...I become nervous,
Whenever I see you, My mind starts racing, My eyes light up,......and I smile.
But it is when I am next to you, I feel content, your presence eases my mind, your touch warms my body, your eyes sooth my soul...
This is how I know,


That I Love You.

At certain times throughout the day you may see me walking around by myself and always looking to my right as my lips move and say to yourself " a that guy is crazy, looking at nothing, talking to himself, wandering around aimlessly". Me, myself, I say that "your the crazy one, not being able to see what is right in front of your face." Some might even say "deaf, dumb, and blind." As for me, I am walking with the God of my understanding.Talking to him. I am not just going nowhere or somewhere, I am going everywhere. For the gifts of life from my GOD are plentiful. Why should I dream my whole life when I can make my dream such that.........MY LIFE..

When I see you,
your smile makes my heart do the same.
When I hear your cries,
for nothing,
not knowing or even why, my soul weeps.
But, how can I love you so much,
and yet at times, get so upset with you,
but yet get even more upset with myself for getting upset with you, for I know,
that you don't know,
what you don't know,
And for this.....
my daughter,
"I'm sorry",
I love you

Why is it that everytime I turn around your there staring back at me? Your stare is cold,filled with anger, but watery with lonliness, your complextion is pale and unhealthy,your sweaty with nervousness.
How can you walk around like that?,I am embarrased for you, even more ashamed of myself for knowing you...It is hard for me to even stand here and look at you, I cant help but to look away, I can't help but to feel sorry for such a person even more that you feel sorry for yourself
My soul cries out for you, My heart hears yours.
I feel sorry for myself, for feeling sorry for such a person that seems so worthless.
Do you understand that I hate you,...I hate you just as much as you hate me,
But everytime i turn around it's your face i see,
your face is a reflection and the reflection is of ME