On reflection.....

17 years ago my son was born, I couldn't have kids in the normal way so had to have IVF. If I'm totally honest, i didn't want kids, as I was content with my life, my hobbies, never felt the need.

Of course women are different, they, well the majority, need them to fulfill their lives. June 25th 1998 my son Louis was born, and of course, I never say I wished I hadn't had him, the shear emotional feeling you get when your first child is born is an overwhelming felling of protection.

Recently there was a blog about the word sluts, and a story of how the dad congratulated his son for getting his nuts wet !!..and of course, if it was our daughter, we would have reacted differently.

7th of April 2007 my daughter was born, Lucy, now aged 8. The thing is she was not IVF, and as I found out 18 months after she was born she was not of my blood. You see my ex wife, after we tried 5 times for IVF again and failed, decided she wanted one by hook or by crook, so she had an affair got pregnant and passed Lucy off as mine.

I was always suspicious about her and eventually did my own DNA. It took me 2 years and a lot of soul searching to get over that, and finally in January this year, I allowed her to be adopted by her now step dad.

I've never had any contact at all with her since 2009. As I'm turning 50 this year, and hoping I get to a ripe old age, I have been reflecting, as you do in certain circumstances. My son is one of those boys that will disappear and make his own life, only ever contacting me when he wants something, but a good lad all the same. But as Ive seen Daughters with their dads over time, I now know I miss not having a daughter more and more.

Daughter are girls, women, compassionate, sensitive, caring and become mums, mums never stop being mums. The dad daughter relationship is different than it is with sons. There is always this sense of protection throughout there lives. I watch the way they play, how their imagination and creativity is at a young age.

As we have read, recently the awful story of the indian Daughter and how women are seen in certain countries, it just makes my blood boil. Yes men go out to work, are the hunters while women are the gatherers,yet i find it so distressing when men treat women in such an appalling way, if they really knew what joy a daughter can give in terms of love and affection, caring to everyone and anything, the world would be a better place.

So for the dads that have daughters, i'm sure you know what i mean.

I will never have the chance to walk my daughter down the aisle, see her on her happiest day, and give her away to what I would hope, to a man that could give her, what she gives in return.

Time is a good healer, but with it comes age,and reflection.