just wanted to wish all my new friends on here a very merry christmas for tomorrow, hope you all have a great christmas, eat loads and be merry
after 5 months of hard work i have qualified as a level 2 pre-school assistant and a first aider, although i have not yet enroled at college i have started my diploma level 3 in child care, i am hoping to enrole in january
i am loving getting up and going to work even though its not full time work as yet but i hoping by the time my 2 year old starts school i will be in full time work
doing child care has made me a more confident mum and doing first aid i know i can also protect my kids if god forbid something awful should happen
this year started of bad but has certianly turned around for me, i can see a bright future ahead of me and funny enough realised more than ever that i do not need to be with someone, i am doing something for me, finding out who i am and what i want and then will find someone who compliments my life and is not a burden to it ............. happy days x
i became a mum at the age of 21 and again at the age of 22 because my partner who is 8 years older than me at the time wanted wanted children before he was 40 so we had two kids together, i gave up working in a salon to be a mum and partner and to keep house but i continued to do private hairdressing, even did a bit of ironing and selling avon to make ends meet when we were struggling for money, i never wnet out with my friends, i also gave all that up
when our youngest child turned 5 we split up and i met someone else, and we had a child, i have since had another child, and never returned to work, i have been a stay at home mum now for 14 years
unfortunatly that relationship went wrong and i am on the social which i am hating, i want to do my hairdressing on the side to make extra money but i also want a career change and get back into full time work so two months ago i started going back to college once a week to do my nvq2 in childcare and i work voluntary at a pre-school once a week so i can get funded and go to colleg, i also do a long day of hairdresing which pays for the child minder three days a week as i cant afford to pay it out of the money i get
i dont drink, i dont smoke and i dont buy myself a lot of things but i do however enjoy going to zumba three times a week which i also take my youngest son with me to these and pay my eldest children or other people to baby sit them
after a row with my daughter one day cos she let me down 15 mins before i was due to go to zumba and i have been let down twice before since my parents have got involved calling me selfish, saying as long as i am happy sod everyone else and how i should give up everything and be there for my kids etc
i dontthink i am being selfish considering i am with my kids 24/7, i dont get a break from them ever unless i am working which again when i do my hairdressing i take my youngest son with me
what do you think, am i being selfish to expect to work two days a week, go to college once a week and go zumba three days a week
after reading everyone's comments i gave it a lot of thought and i decided neither my current partner or my ex partner was any good for me and could not give me what i wanted so i finished it with my current boyfriend...... although funny enough he had also been thinking of doing the same thing, we have stayed friends though, i also told my ex that me and him would never work out so i have gone back to dating to see what happens lol
this is going to be a confusing one so i hope i can explain in a way that your be able to follow
i met a guy 4 months ago, his 14 years older than me and at first we had decided it would be a casual affair with no promises made as he had just got out of a 27 year marriage and was not sure if he was ready to jump into a full blown relationship again and especially with one that had small children and i wasn't sure i was ready for the full commitment relationship either after having failed ones before, i had promised myself i would take things slowly and see where it took me if anywhere
few months down the line we are still waiting for his divorce to go through and his house to be sold, his had problems at work, i've gone back to college and started a new job aswell as trying to look after my kids, two of which have caused me alot of grief and have decided to live with their dad and their nan so we have had a lot thrown at us but have helped eachother through it all
also with all that happening my babies dad who had disappeared on me for 6 months had decided to come back on the scene and see our daughter on a weekly basis and cos it went to court he was ordered to see her in my own home, as we have spent each weekend with eachother as a family we have been getting on really well and it all feels really nice
dilema is.............. my ex wants to give it another go and see if we can start over and be a proper family again, the guy i am seeing says his feelings for me have changed and he is falling in love with me but i am not sure what his thoughts and feelings are towards my children, this we are going to discuss when i see him next on friday.......... my babies dad time keeping drives me insane, he is always late and can be very unrealiable but having him around is nice and nice to have the father of my daughter around, think i dont feel guilty if he helps out in a way i expect him to help ot emotionally and finacially whereas with the guy i am seeing he always shows up when he says but with the job he does i never know what his rota is so never know when i am seeing him and some weeks i only get to see him once a week but when he is here i feel he is a part of the family as he is very hands on which sometimes my babies dad lacked and the guy i am seeing does silly things like buy me some new pegs cos he knows the last lot have broke or fixes the cupboard cos my kids broke that or downloads a song cos he knows i like it, always turns up with sweets etc for the kids and he listens and gives good advice but my babaies dad knows what he wants and thats a future with us as a family where as the guy i am seeing still says he cant make any promises to me and he has a awful habit of referring to his soon to be ex wife as his other half and its still their house and their bedroom when he has to go home to pick up the mail or something
a week had gone by since alan finished with me and he calls me up asking to see me as he had missed me and needed a hug so i eventually gave in as i wanted to see him, i allowed him to stay the night with me too and he left with both of us looking forward to a bright new future, he told me he had done some thinking whilst we were apart and how he cant be without me but from that wednesday to yesterday, something has happened and he has said his ex is still giving him grieve and its not fair on either of us but she had been giving him grief before he called me on wednesday as thats why he finished with me the other week but he was willing to put that behind him or so he led me to believe, his told me to move on as i dont need all this in my life with everyone else going on but its not as simple as that when you like someone and they come back with false hopes
cant believe i believed him and allowed him back in, his not even returning my messages again, back to square one again
i split from my babies dad a year ago when she was only three months old but we tried our hardest to get back together and work it out for the next seven months after but it ended up not working out at all
in the september last year we had a huge row and he walked and i have not seen him since, i have tried to call his mobile but goes on to answer machine, i have sent him texts and nothing, finally i decided by xmas i would give up and i did
he missed her first birthday and never saw her for xmas, he has made no effort to get in contact except for sending a card through the post at xmas and birthday
he has not provided for her at all and my friend who was his fb friend had asked him several times to get in contact with me and he never did
i got a call from his solicitor today asking if i am attending court on tuesday but i never recieved the papers he served so cant go, not sure why he served them as i never stopped him from seeing her
what i had asked him was to turn up at a reasonable time and drop her of at a reasonable time cos of bed times but he never did, he did what he liked, he smoked green and his mum is an alcoholic who he lives with and he used to take our daughter round his ex wifes to see his 19 year old daughter whilst the ex was there which all of this i hate
he has not seen her in five months now, she wont even know him, she is only 15 months old and not seen him since she was ten months old, the thought of handing her over now is killing me
what to do for the best
just got back from my first zumba class, oh my god what great fun we had
since splitting from my guy i decided i was going to put my efforts else where instead of moping around
so i have started street dancing aswell as zumba which i do three times a week with different people so i am making new friends, having a great time dancing and hopefully getting fit at the same time
i have also started going out on dates and arranging dates
its all about just going out having fun, enjoying life with good company and if mr right comes along then hey added bonus
cant believe what a week i have had but this has topped it all
my poor brother aged only 41 years of age had two heart attacks, he was bought back both times and now has had to have a stent put in his left valve
i just cant believe it, you never think of your brother ever having a heart attack, his going through such a messy divorce that it had been caused by severe stress
he is feeling tired and bruised but hopefully he is over the worse, his fighter is mu brother but it certainly makes you realise how important your family members are and how short life actually is and how we should make the most of it
i cant believe whats happened
i meet a nice guy of the net a few months back, things were getting serious between us and all going really well
he tells his ex about us before someone else does as it turned out our kids go to the same school and the ex kicks of about it and he finishes it cos of her
we were meant to be going to the theatre tomorrow for my birthday treat and looks like we wont be going to that either then monday i have to go into school and face her and whats the betting she will be all smug with herself as she has managed to ruin it between us
i just dont uinderstand why he cant stand up to her, i know she was using the kids and were making them turn against them but four of them were not his, only one was
feel devastaed
i have met someone from the net
funny as he was not my type at all looks wise and dismissed him at first by the way he looked but he was persistant and so in the end ended up going on a date with him
at first i thought nope this would never work, it defiantly was not love at first sight
but
we have been spending more and more time together, my kids get on with him, turns out he already knew my mum and sister and that our kids go to the same school plus i already know his sister and now have met his mum lol
things seem to be going really well, i still question certain things but i realise that i am looking for perfection rather than just enjoying his company and having someone who generally wants to spend time with me and my kids which is all i ever wanted so lets see where this goes
4th feb i was going to pick my son up from his dads but as they had moved house i was unsure of where they lived
drove down this road then realised i was just about to go past it so i stopped and put my car in reverse when crash, a guy came round the corner and hit into the back of me, as there was a primary school i drove up round the corner and pulled over but the guy was abourt to drive past so i shouted at him to which he came back and hurled a load of abuse at me
i had my 15 month old baby and was not going to be subjected to that so i drove of, back round the block to my ex's house, as i pulled up on his drive the car with the guy in it pulled up behind me shouting at me etc
my ex's new fiance came out of the house and was shouting back at him telling him to leave, he left but without me taking his details although he had took my number plate then saying he was going to get me done for it
i go to a family group every friday and this friday the police were there and i had told them what happened but they said as i never took his details there was not much i could do although i could report it to my insurance company if i wanted to claim or in the likely hood that he may report it but they thought it would be umlikely as he hit me
however almost two weeks later i recieve a letter from the police saying i have commited a offence, 1- driving with undue care and attention, 2-failing to stop after the accident, 3-failing to report the accident,
i have these forms now to fill out my details but i have also wrote on there what happened that day
they want my driving license number which i i cant find and plus its in my old address grrrr
i am furious
kas14 Blog (21)