I found her
Stretched out, as if she was leaping
Her eyes, parted, still sparkled
Her returning glance, stilled by death
In shock, myself, stilled by death
I crouched down and touched her
She felt frozen in time
When I picked her up, she felt heavier than in life
Such a beautiful cat, even after this life
Frozen in time. Leaping into the next world
Her grey paws reaching for the beyond
Intertwined thoughts about intertwined limbs
Flash images like a manic slide show
Thoughts made present on the face
A mask falls away, briefly
Heaving and out of breath from strenuous activities
I giggle and marvel at the person next to me
Out of breath from holding oxygen hostage while I did all that was asked
I giggled and marvel at answered prayers
I’m building stamina and a tolerance for surprise visits
I’m aware he is turning a mouse into a cat, respecting and encouraging my nature, blissfully
What forces me to survive, sometimes when I don’t want to? The amazing things I’ve experienced. Some would call it God, guardian angels, magic or random. Whatever the case may be, I have experienced negative things and in most times, a kind human has been arms length for a hug.
Tonight I called my reliable colleague for some bodily exchanges. I’ve been under a lot of stress.
After our exchange I went into the kitchen for coffee. It was then that I discovered my Dove cat, dead. My colleague was very comforting. Like a real friend should be. Giving me instructions and offering to help or do all. I’m thankful that once again, a kind human was in arms length
Ps. This is a true story like a few hours ago.
I feel like I should write something. . .
I got a portable turntable
Set it up by my crate of vinyl memories
Voices singing, brings the click of a slide show
No digital
The familiar tunes are a lullaby to a racing heart
Parked at a drive in, watching home movies
It took a few months to place a black disk in play
The ghosts of Me past gently haunt
But I’m not so scared anymore
Two of a kind, you and I
Though my age betrays a maturity
Your guidance directs me to my soul
To be lost for so long, a kind gentleman showed me the way
I was out walking. I pushed myself, heaving
The sun pulled all moisture from me
The clarity was like cheap vodka in a plastic bottle
That walk produced bug bites, infected
By a hair removal cream, chemical
Dark spots, as if I had a case of the pox
I remember how he paid no notice
Two of a kind if there could be
The gears always moving, puzzle pieces turning, or Skelton keys jangling
To find a matching groove consoles me
If and since I do not wish to be a romantic unit
And if blessings aren’t reserved to God
I hold you as a blessing, in the most primal sense
The beach where sticks and stones don’t break hearts
Make love with waves of salt and sea
Bring forth good memories
Of a visit most importantly family
Though far away not distant in heart’s memory
I love you all eternally
You remind me of what I’m trying to forget
Though genuine care f*ck over my imagination
I toss my mane and squeal
On darkest of nights, the Illuminati of all pretenses
Bury your head into my chest, allow me to inhale the scent of the wild
Deep thoughts from the depths of what I thought I knew
The flashpoint that fractures all reason
Making irrational my temporary reality
Viewing a personality split into two like I’ve got those VR goggles on watching real time twins of a man
I have been blessed with a cowboy
And all he wants to do is ride
We met up in the shoe department
He wore all black with a phone hanging from his hip
He makes a dial that dials me in
Regardless of the sun and moon
Asking me “do you want to go riding?”
Regardless of the state I’m in, I put my hat on
He has taken me many places but there are still many places to go
He has given a new perspective over camp fires
A man I never thought would want to gentle me
I have been blessed with a cowboy
Lean and sexy, phone swinging
Within reach making me within reach
To be touched, kissed, followed by
some riding
There isn’t much else to do
Except to walk to the water’s edge
Stare beyond the farthest point
And remember, peripherally
It’s time to replace my Magic Couch. It’s a bittersweet affair. My new couch had been sitting on the showroom. My favorite piece with upholstery that reminds me of raw silk.
This couch sat along the aisle to my desk. Upon each passing, I would pet it. Not long ago it went on clearance. I couldn’t believe it. Nobody sees what I see? It became my goal to find a forever home for my dear friend.
Months passed and my couch remained while the percentage of the clearance price grew and grew until it was 50% off 50%. I sat on its cushions and petted it, thinking.
It’s time for a change. With a sentimental sadness settling in my throat, I decided to make Clearance Couch mine
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