The hot guy on the mattress

Tonight i had a very my kind of handsome customer. I almost told him he looked like a Bradley Cooper/Jake Gyllenhaal combo. I shamelessly looked at his a** when he climbed on each mattress he tried out. He was wearing a thin jersey knit shorts and I could see his underwear lines. He misplaced his phone so we called his number to find it. We searched the showroom, listening. Unfortunately, we found it and I blurted out, before thinking, “aw, now I don’t have a cheesy reason to ask for your number”. God.

My confession is that I wanted to test mattresses with him
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My religion

Greetings. I was messaging my very reliable colleague about how a mutual colleague suspects there may be something going on. I continued rambling when it struck me. You see, I mentioned that I’m In a hell on earth but there is a heaven. Then I thought, one doesn’t have to die to know heaven and hell. Then I thought,, what if I’m already dead and I wasn’t 100% good or evil so I fell into the heaven/hell blend?
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Although it’s in the 30’s in my house, it’s the mid 40’s outside with the sun shining. I still have gas so I’ve brewed coffee on the stove and washed 3 pairs of pants and a dress in my bathtub. Hopefully 1 item will be dry by 2pm. I’ll do another load shortly. I feel a little optimistic having something clean to wear to work.

I’ll make some eggs soon and rest until duty calls.

I feel like a pioneer
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Day 4

I have just endured day 4 of my company’s liquidation. Everyone is cranky. My associate in my department is now angry with me. A customer was there and my coworker asked me a question. I sort of disagreed with the pairing of a headboard to a customers bed frame. Now, keep in mind, this position still pays a commission. At the same time, all sales are final. Because of my answer, she lost the sale and was very angry with me. I responded, if you don’t like my answers, don’t ask me the questions. I wasn’t being bitchy. I only have concerns that if the pieces did not fit, the customer can’t return the piece. All I could think of was, do we want an angry customer over a $20.00 commission? Well, she said she won’t ask me anymore questions.

Now, if I had known I was supposed to agree to make the sale, I might have gone along with it. It’s her ear that would be bent if it didn’t work. Still, is it worth it?

Sitting in the dark. 5 more cold nights until electricity.

Until next time, see ya. :)
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My cat purrs and climbs aboard. I ask him “do you like the rustic atmosphere?”

My electric was disconnected 3 days ago for nonpayment lol-not. I’m wearing a down coat, buried under two big dogs and a cat, body heat. I feel like a pioneer. Like camping in s house. I sure wish warm weather would come.

My latest lesson, men are expensive and more costly to get rid of. I’m sure the same can be said for female leaches.

Today was day 1 of my store’s liquidation. We are a carcass, to be picked clean. I can’t decide if I want to stay to the bitter end and collect unemployment or abandon ship. Those who have, have lost friends. I don’t want to do that.

I had a breakdown but now I’m running on anger adrenaline. I will not give up. Not today, anyway.

This is life. The amazing thing is that I have the will to live. This confounds me.

7 more days until I have heat and light, provided my paycheck will cover it. At this time, I must determine what is most important, heat, water or light.

Not complaining, I did it to myself thinking I could support 2 adults, 1 not working. That other adult is out of the picture so, I am already in a better place.

Phone battery is low. See you later.
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No comments

I am sick of the no comment blogs. Because of this, please leave a comment. Make it whatever. I choose to comment to someone not here F off and take the engagement ring off too.

In the voice of Rod Serling, “imagine, if you will, a finger without a ring on it “ New Jersey is Virginia to me. Both places unknown after knowing, intimately.
What mistakes were made are left in burn barrels waiting a match. There is no match for me
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If you know me

If you know me
You may have known me
Sad housewive
Lonely housewife
Lived 3 lives, 3 weddings, 2 children, 1 life
You have been lining roadsides
Sometimes, cheering me on
Rarely attacking, because I’m pathetic or strong?
I have written of excruciating loneliness
Joyous love, cascading, flowing to a place called Malta

You have read my tumbles, rarely knocked my walk
As if, one might assume, we still feel
To other
The stranger on the street
Part of the landscape
A part you realize you’ll miss
Who I am, you are
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The strange need for companionship

I’ve been thinking about something that was said to me. It has temporarily given me the idea to consider being a couple. No, there isn’t anyone known that I might consider being in a relationship with. It’s simply a break in my “no relationship “ mantra.

My recent back story is the dumping of a financial and emotional parasite. You know the type. The ones who will say and do anything to remain in an arrangement that provides food and shelter...

I’ve had poems proclaiming love, a proposal of marriage etc. still, I dumped his a**. Since then, this individual has written poems and proposed marriage to 3 other women in 3 month’s time. This has confirmed the fact that his words are all bull shit.

The above news doesn’t shock or sadden me. I got out alive lol.

Back to what was said to me...a simple sentence that, even with my latest blunder, makes me consider.

Like the pain of childbirth and kidney stones, I am beginning to forget the reasons why I want to remain single. It’s as if I have a case of amnesia.

I think amnesia is my method of coping. Unfortunately, I don’t trust myself enough to try again.

I’m on a slippery slope. That’s it from me today.
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Ring of fire

I fell into a burning rung of fire
And it burned
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Retail ramblings

I work in a retail environment, a department store. I know the atmosphere has changed over time, just as consumer travel has changed.

There was a time when people dressed up to travel and shop. Both activities seemed more prestigious. If you watch any old show or film, the characters were usually dressed impeccably. Men wore hats, women wore hats and gloves. Accessories weren't tacky or dated. There seemed to be an order to things. As if work and home life were stable enough to present ourselves as "together" in more ways than one.

I am sitting in a department store that is empty but for the employees and a few customers. There has been a pallor on the face of retail. The coordinated lips and nails are gone. Fancy brooches and rhinestone clip on earrings have been shed. The atmosphere is dull except for the occasional frivolous shopper. Luxury for the mainstream has been substituted with fancy phones and active wear.

Two things have made me contemplate this. One, the possibility of my store closing due to bankruptcy, the second, two films I recently watched again. I usually watch a film I like numerous times, so, I have given thought to the aura of the films, not only the main plot. Tonight, I focus on the characters of both films, "The Danish Girl" and "Carol".

If you haven't seen these films, "The Danish Girl" is about the first man to attempt sex reassignment. "Carol" is the story of a woman acknowledging her sexuality. What on earth could these characters have to do with retail? Only I would make a connection. lol In "The Danish Girl", after living as a female, she takes a job in a department store and she glows with excitement. Her smile is electric. Her supervisor is very respectful and her statement "we are all performers" as if in a great play, to provide the ultimate shopping experience. In "Carol" the female character is shown in the same retail environment, but the experience if far from magical. Her supervisor is a cold, negative character and the position of store clerk is a hair above garbage left blowing across a New York City sidewalk. Is the vast difference because one character wants to fit in and be accepted, accepting the stereotype that goes with it, while the other feels she doesn't fit in, she has other aspirations?

Do we feel like garbage in our jobs because we aren't fulfilled elsewhere? Are we longing to play a role, to have at work what we don't have at home? In the end, I think we all take on roles in order to survive.
"we are all performers".
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Profiles and innocence

I joined a writing website to post my work. Unlike here, one must comment on other people’s work before posting. I’m new to the site and don’t know anyone.

Well, my compliment got me a compliment on my work. I thanked the person and a short interaction occurred.

A few minutes later I got a message asking how long I’ve known John. I said I don’t know a John. The person good naturedly told me she appreciated my discretion. I repeated several times that I don’t know a John. This person informed me that John’s girlfriend is a very jealous type and warned me. Sigh. So I stressed that I honestly don’t know this John person so there is nothing to be concerned about.

Jeez, I don’t even feel like commenting if jealous people think I’m after their man. Like, hell no!

That’s life with a bunch of faceless profiles.
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Even old people

Even old people get their hearts broken.
The hurt seems to remain as severe as when I was in my twenties
So, I make the assumption that love is no different.
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mcradloff: "Winter Olympics"(meet us in the poems)